Anonymous
12/15/2020 08:54
Subject: dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is why I would not divorce. Definitely could not even consider bringing a strange man around my kids. I like my DH enough to keep working on things. Blended family is also a hell no. To the OP, honestly-get into the sugar daddy market. Don’t introduce them to your kids.
That's what I was thinking, put his kids first. Stop worrying about finding another parent for them. Why can't people learn to be alone and enjoy the kids they created instead of bringing more craziness into their lives.
OP I would get a vasectomy pronto to protect your kids and income.
dp He said he already had one!
Anonymous
12/15/2020 08:48
Subject: dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?
Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny without kids, who is 45 looking for a divorced Dad. But I live in Los Angeles and the only men here who want to date a 45 year old are 60+ so it’s probably not going to happen for me unless I move to a town with less shallow people.
DC is not that place. Men here also expect you to make over 100K, which was not an expectation when I was in LA.
Anonymous
12/15/2020 08:47
Subject: dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?
I have a friend who was educated at Harvard and has a high flying career who neither has kids nor wants them.
She is 50 though.
This is what your options are.
She is 50 though.
This is what your options are.
Anonymous
12/15/2020 08:45
Subject: dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?
Anonymous wrote:I'm a 45-year old divorced dad with an ES and MS kid. Shortly before Covid, I was starting to get back into dating more seriously, looking for a real relationship. I'm open to marriage but do not want to have more kids and do not want to blend a family or deal with someone else's kids. So, I was hoping to find someone who doesn't have and doesn't want kids. (To be clear, I'm not looking for a woman to step into the role of being a mom to my kids; they have two fully engaged and capable parents. Sure, at some point, the relationship might become serious enough that they'd become part of my kids' life, but I'm not expecting that to be in a parental role.) But the women I was meeting who are looking for a relationship all seemed to either have kids or want kids. Then Covid hit and I shut it down. But now I'm thinking about getting back into dating post-Covid and I'm kind of stumped. Am I looking for a unicorn or am I looking in the wrong places? Mostly I've met women through match.com and social functions. Any advice?
Np Ironic you don't want to parent other women's kids but, expect them to parent yours. Yes, yes you don't expect them to "parent" but, they will interact with your kids, right? That is a lot to ask someone when you aren't willing to do it yourself.
Anonymous
12/15/2020 08:43
Subject: dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just get a FWB. Plenty of women open to that.
+1. You seem to not want to limit your dating pool to 45+ year old women. No big deal. FWB now, then you can start looking for a serious relationship in 5+ years and won't have to date women who are older than you.
Yes, because young women are lining up to have a NSA sex relationship with a middle aged man with a dad bad and a bunch of kids. They will be salivaing at the thought
How did men become THIS delusional about their market value?
I think this is entirely possible if he pays her mortgage and he doesn't want exclusivity.
Anonymous
12/15/2020 08:41
Subject: dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me very glad I’m not dating at my current age if 35... apparently men think my cohort is desperate! Trying to imagine a 45 yr old suggesting I join his life has a “big sister” to his kids. ????
If I didn’t want kids, I’d be looking for a childless guy who makes as much money as I do and who wants to travel internationally every chance we get. Oh, and ski. It’d be great if he had a boat. Honestly I walked away from a fair few relationships where guys didn’t want kids. Women who don’t want kids come at a dating market “premium” way before 35, and punch above their weight in the dating market, since a lot more successful men want that DINK lifestyle than successful women.
Hopefully OP is okay with chubby and 38, or fit and 44.
Fit and 44 will NOT be interested. Chubby might be.
This. Fit and 44 has no problem getting younger, baggage-free men. That is me...with kids. I would not date OP.
Anonymous
12/15/2020 08:26
Subject: dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?
OP, you have to be brutally honest about your looks/success regarding dating at your age and life situation.
I am 41 with children, but have found it very easy to date women in their 20s who aren't thinking about kids yet and know that our relationship is just for fun, and women my age-ish who have older kids and don't want more and who are open to building something together if we connect. Women in their 30s who have never married are aware enough to want nothing to so with me.
If you do have what it takes to date much younger women, be aware that it will be fun but they hold the power and will eventually get bored with you and start sleeping with someone younger/hotter. When that happens you have to move on and find someone else.
I am 41 with children, but have found it very easy to date women in their 20s who aren't thinking about kids yet and know that our relationship is just for fun, and women my age-ish who have older kids and don't want more and who are open to building something together if we connect. Women in their 30s who have never married are aware enough to want nothing to so with me.
If you do have what it takes to date much younger women, be aware that it will be fun but they hold the power and will eventually get bored with you and start sleeping with someone younger/hotter. When that happens you have to move on and find someone else.
Anonymous
12/15/2020 08:16
Subject: dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Woman seeking man who will give her millions of dollars without expecting her to sleep or spend time with him.
Hey, two can play that game, I guess....
Is there a waiting list for this lol?
Sign me up too!
Anonymous
12/15/2020 08:15
Subject: dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?
Anonymous wrote:I live how OP jumps in there to defend himself and clarify but it's crickets and tumbleweed when asked if he's wealthy and handsome. What are you offering this lucky lady unicorn OP?
+1000
But apparently OP finds his receding hairline self to be a prize in of itself. What a gem.
Anonymous
12/15/2020 08:14
Subject: dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just get a FWB. Plenty of women open to that.
+1. You seem to not want to limit your dating pool to 45+ year old women. No big deal. FWB now, then you can start looking for a serious relationship in 5+ years and won't have to date women who are older than you.
Yes, because young women are lining up to have a NSA sex relationship with a middle aged man with a dad bad and a bunch of kids. They will be salivaing at the thought
How did men become THIS delusional about their market value?
Anonymous
12/15/2020 08:12
Subject: dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:First, two baby mamas make you not so attractive, so you'd better have a big bank account to up your value.
Next, no, you're not looking for a unicorn. There are many women who will have no interest in your kids. The problem is, she'll want you to also have no interest in your kids.
Wait! OP has 2 i=different women as mothers to his children and is 45 and doesn't want to date anyone over 30? This is a mess.
No, I do not. Someone made that up. I have one ex, who is the mother of both my kids. I also never said I didn't want to date anyone over 30. I even said I was not trying to find a 25 year old. The people who are making stuff up are the mess.
You said the idea of dating women your own age was hard to swallow. A woman in her thirties does not want to date a man who has kids in elementary school but doesn’t want any more kids. You need to target women around your age. There are plenty of them.
Again, no, I didn't say that. I said that limiting myself to 45+ was hard to swallow because of how narrow the pool of potential matches becomes, which is definitely not the same as dating my own age is hard to swallow. I don't have a fixed age range in mind. Maybe 35-50? Someone who's fit at whatever age (as am I). She doesn't have to be rich, but I'm also not interested in being a sugar daddy.
Anyway, there have been a lot of helpful posts. Thanks for those.
OP do not, I repeat, do not date women in their mid-late 30s unless you make crystal, crystal clear from the outset that you do not want more kids.
in DC area, make that mid 40s. I had my second at 41 and one of my friends at 43.
I think this is why people are suggesting 45+.
But they were likely in a relationship well before that. If you are a single woman at 40 with no serious relationship in the works, you have likely come to terms with never having biological children. I think OP is fine sticking with 40+
Anonymous
12/15/2020 08:09
Subject: dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?
Have you seen the show 90 day fiance? A k-1 visa might be a good idea for you. You can marry her and then she will leave you as soon as you get your green card.
Anonymous
12/15/2020 08:07
Subject: dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:First, two baby mamas make you not so attractive, so you'd better have a big bank account to up your value.
Next, no, you're not looking for a unicorn. There are many women who will have no interest in your kids. The problem is, she'll want you to also have no interest in your kids.
Wait! OP has 2 i=different women as mothers to his children and is 45 and doesn't want to date anyone over 30? This is a mess.
No, I do not. Someone made that up. I have one ex, who is the mother of both my kids. I also never said I didn't want to date anyone over 30. I even said I was not trying to find a 25 year old. The people who are making stuff up are the mess.
You said the idea of dating women your own age was hard to swallow. A woman in her thirties does not want to date a man who has kids in elementary school but doesn’t want any more kids. You need to target women around your age. There are plenty of them.
Again, no, I didn't say that. I said that limiting myself to 45+ was hard to swallow because of how narrow the pool of potential matches becomes, which is definitely not the same as dating my own age is hard to swallow. I don't have a fixed age range in mind. Maybe 35-50? Someone who's fit at whatever age (as am I). She doesn't have to be rich, but I'm also not interested in being a sugar daddy.
Anyway, there have been a lot of helpful posts. Thanks for those.
OP do not, I repeat, do not date women in their mid-late 30s unless you make crystal, crystal clear from the outset that you do not want more kids.
in DC area, make that mid 40s. I had my second at 41 and one of my friends at 43.
I think this is why people are suggesting 45+.
Anonymous
12/15/2020 08:07
Subject: dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:First, two baby mamas make you not so attractive, so you'd better have a big bank account to up your value.
Next, no, you're not looking for a unicorn. There are many women who will have no interest in your kids. The problem is, she'll want you to also have no interest in your kids.
Wait! OP has 2 i=different women as mothers to his children and is 45 and doesn't want to date anyone over 30? This is a mess.
No, I do not. Someone made that up. I have one ex, who is the mother of both my kids. I also never said I didn't want to date anyone over 30. I even said I was not trying to find a 25 year old. The people who are making stuff up are the mess.
You said the idea of dating women your own age was hard to swallow. A woman in her thirties does not want to date a man who has kids in elementary school but doesn’t want any more kids. You need to target women around your age. There are plenty of them.
Again, no, I didn't say that. I said that limiting myself to 45+ was hard to swallow because of how narrow the pool of potential matches becomes, which is definitely not the same as dating my own age is hard to swallow. I don't have a fixed age range in mind. Maybe 35-50? Someone who's fit at whatever age (as am I). She doesn't have to be rich, but I'm also not interested in being a sugar daddy.
Anyway, there have been a lot of helpful posts. Thanks for those.
The problem with 35-40 is you’re still solidly in the childbearing range. It’s going to be easier to screen for your preference 40+.
Nope. Childfree by choice women do not want kids regardless of stage of life. Try again.
DP. Realistically, child-free by choice isn’t a promising demographic for OP at any age. OP needs to be looking for women who would have wanted children, but have accepted it’s too late in life to start that process from scratch and will instead embrace being a stepmom to OP’s kids. You need to start around mid-40s to find that.
Anonymous
12/15/2020 08:06
Subject: Re:dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?
Anonymous wrote:If you are just looking for adult companionship, why don’t you want to date someone who has kids but has joint custody? You see each other on your days off with no kids and then you each see your own kids separately. A woman with no kids isn’t going to put up with this, but a divorced mom will be fine with it.
This!