Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, poor her, 2BD apt in Milan. Compared to a basement room in a big house in an anonymous DMV suburb. Such a dumb American thing to say; that’s why we are the but of jokes everywhere. Everyone lives in apartments in Milan Rome Paris. You should be so lucky to have a chance at a 2BD in one of these places, middle aged suburban housewife.

You are aware of what happened in Italy in the spring, right? She had a terrible time being essentially locked inside for months on end. They weren't even allowed outside to exercise.. Her grandparents died of COVID and she couldn't see them. So yes, she'd rather not be sharing a room with her younger sister 24/7 and not allowed fresh air as they lock down again.

I can’t even. Do you have access to anything other than the Fox News? Or are you saying you are taking advantage of her situation and her grief?
She could do better than your household. USA is having one of the worst outbreaks ever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a fellow host mom the dynamics have changed a lot and many au pairs - now scarce and in demand - are understandably leveraging the new dynamic.

That said, I think if you can afford to pay her more, do so, make her show you she is stepping it up. I think the PP at 5:55 is spot on, but I would phrase it more positively.

I am not sure how much of the dynamic is there to leverage because their choices are rematch or go home.

The dynamic has completely shifted right now. Tons of families are desperate for child care. We interviewed this fall looking for an au pair. We told one candidate that we had a dedicated au pair car for her to use. She asked me if it was a luxury car because another family was offering to let her have her own brand new Lexus SUV. Other families were offering one free round trip domestic ticket anywhere in the US per month on top of the stipend. I heard of families offering stipends as high as $500/wk.

For us, we let our prior au pair move to a different family for her second year (i.e., we didnt make her a counteroffer) because we were more conservative re COVID-19 than she is. Her current host family lets her do whatever, so she just flew across the country to a hot spot to be a tourist with a group of other au pairs over Thanksgiving weekend. One of those friends has now tested positive. I don't think she's isolating or quarantining. Should be interesting.

For us, we weren't okay with zero COVID restrictions so we were offering a higher stipend ($350/wk) and doing many things to try to salvage the cultural exchange aspect for our au pair. I spent a lot of effort coming up with safe ways to let our au pair feel like she was getting a full experience.

Our out of country match ended up not being able to come for now because of the Trump ban, so we ended up going a different direction for child care. Our out of country match is now unemployed and under quarantine with her family in her home country. She wishes she was here even with COVID because she'd have a job and be working on her English, rather than twiddling her thumbs for a year at home. She appreciates her life is shut down because of COVID, but all in all, would rather be an au pair.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are they supposed to save any money making 200 bucks a week? What in the world?

They have no expenses. The host family pays everything except for add on entertainment and travel.

And your point is? How do they save? They cannot.

They save in a bank account, like everyone else.

Our au saved up and used her money on travel like mad. 10 days in Hawaii, 10 days in Cancun, a travel month visiting the Geand Canyon, Aches, Death Valley, SF, Yosemite. A week in Florida at Disney and Universal. Trips to Seattle, Boston, Philadelphia, and on and on. The au pairs split rental cars and hotel rooms with groups to save money--like most teenagers would. Then she went home and got her dream job at a multinational company leveraging her English skills.

Obviously travel is now curtailed. But our out of country au pair would rather be here saving $200 a week than at home unemployed and living in a 2 bedroom apartment with her parents and sibling under a stay at home order. She is from Milan and already spent months holed up in tiny quarters with no ability to even go outside during the first Italian wave. Covid affects her ability to socialize in both countries.

She did all of that travel making 200 bucks a week?

She was great and got a few raises, but essentially yes. She was amazing at finding flight deals and making plans with other au pairs she met on the internet. Everything was split multiple ways, making it affordable. She had an amazing time and was supposed to come back to visit before COVID hit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, poor her, 2BD apt in Milan. Compared to a basement room in a big house in an anonymous DMV suburb. Such a dumb American thing to say; that’s why we are the but of jokes everywhere. Everyone lives in apartments in Milan Rome Paris. You should be so lucky to have a chance at a 2BD in one of these places, middle aged suburban housewife.

You are aware of what happened in Italy in the spring, right? She had a terrible time being essentially locked inside for months on end. They weren't even allowed outside to exercise.. Her grandparents died of COVID and she couldn't see them. So yes, she'd rather not be sharing a room with her younger sister 24/7 and not allowed fresh air as they lock down again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are they supposed to save any money making 200 bucks a week? What in the world?

They have no expenses. The host family pays everything except for add on entertainment and travel.

And your point is? How do they save? They cannot.

They save in a bank account, like everyone else.

Our au saved up and used her money on travel like mad. 10 days in Hawaii, 10 days in Cancun, a travel month visiting the Geand Canyon, Aches, Death Valley, SF, Yosemite. A week in Florida at Disney and Universal. Trips to Seattle, Boston, Philadelphia, and on and on. The au pairs split rental cars and hotel rooms with groups to save money--like most teenagers would. Then she went home and got her dream job at a multinational company leveraging her English skills.

Obviously travel is now curtailed. But our out of country au pair would rather be here saving $200 a week than at home unemployed and living in a 2 bedroom apartment with her parents and sibling under a stay at home order. She is from Milan and already spent months holed up in tiny quarters with no ability to even go outside during the first Italian wave. Covid affects her ability to socialize in both countries.

Anonymous wrote:Oh, poor her, 2BD apt in Milan. Compared to a basement room in a big house in an anonymous DMV suburb. Such a dumb American thing to say; that’s why we are the but of jokes everywhere. Everyone lives in apartments in Milan Rome Paris. You should be so lucky to have a chance at a 2BD in one of these places, middle aged suburban housewife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are they supposed to save any money making 200 bucks a week? What in the world?

They have no expenses. The host family pays everything except for add on entertainment and travel.

And your point is? How do they save? They cannot.

They save in a bank account, like everyone else.

Our au saved up and used her money on travel like mad. 10 days in Hawaii, 10 days in Cancun, a travel month visiting the Geand Canyon, Aches, Death Valley, SF, Yosemite. A week in Florida at Disney and Universal. Trips to Seattle, Boston, Philadelphia, and on and on. The au pairs split rental cars and hotel rooms with groups to save money--like most teenagers would. Then she went home and got her dream job at a multinational company leveraging her English skills.

Obviously travel is now curtailed. But our out of country au pair would rather be here saving $200 a week than at home unemployed and living in a 2 bedroom apartment with her parents and sibling under a stay at home order. She is from Milan and already spent months holed up in tiny quarters with no ability to even go outside during the first Italian wave. Covid affects her ability to socialize in both countries.

She did all of that travel making 200 bucks a week?

She was great and got a few raises, but essentially yes. She was amazing at finding flight deals and making plans with other au pairs she met on the internet. Everything was split multiple ways, making it affordable. She had an amazing time and was supposed to come back to visit before COVID hit.

Anonymous wrote:Pass the popcorn. I cannot wait to see how fast this au pair finds a great, cultured family willing to pay and behave properly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are they supposed to save any money making 200 bucks a week? What in the world?

They have no expenses. The host family pays everything except for add on entertainment and travel.

And your point is? How do they save? They cannot.

They save in a bank account, like everyone else.

Our au saved up and used her money on travel like mad. 10 days in Hawaii, 10 days in Cancun, a travel month visiting the Geand Canyon, Aches, Death Valley, SF, Yosemite. A week in Florida at Disney and Universal. Trips to Seattle, Boston, Philadelphia, and on and on. The au pairs split rental cars and hotel rooms with groups to save money--like most teenagers would. Then she went home and got her dream job at a multinational company leveraging her English skills.

Obviously travel is now curtailed. But our out of country au pair would rather be here saving $200 a week than at home unemployed and living in a 2 bedroom apartment with her parents and sibling under a stay at home order. She is from Milan and already spent months holed up in tiny quarters with no ability to even go outside during the first Italian wave. Covid affects her ability to socialize in both countries.

She did all of that travel making 200 bucks a week?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are they supposed to save any money making 200 bucks a week? What in the world?

They have no expenses. The host family pays everything except for add on entertainment and travel.

And your point is? How do they save? They cannot.

They save in a bank account, like everyone else.

Our au saved up and used her money on travel like mad. 10 days in Hawaii, 10 days in Cancun, a travel month visiting the Geand Canyon, Aches, Death Valley, SF, Yosemite. A week in Florida at Disney and Universal. Trips to Seattle, Boston, Philadelphia, and on and on. The au pairs split rental cars and hotel rooms with groups to save money--like most teenagers would. Then she went home and got her dream job at a multinational company leveraging her English skills.

Obviously travel is now curtailed. But our out of country au pair would rather be here saving $200 a week than at home unemployed and living in a 2 bedroom apartment with her parents and sibling under a stay at home order. She is from Milan and already spent months holed up in tiny quarters with no ability to even go outside during the first Italian wave. Covid affects her ability to socialize in both countries.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are they supposed to save any money making 200 bucks a week? What in the world?

They have no expenses. The host family pays everything except for add on entertainment and travel.

And your point is? How do they save? They cannot.

They save in a bank account, like everyone else.

Our au saved up and used her money on travel like mad. 10 days in Hawaii, 10 days in Cancun, a travel month visiting the Geand Canyon, Aches, Death Valley, SF, Yosemite. A week in Florida at Disney and Universal. Trips to Seattle, Boston, Philadelphia, and on and on. The au pairs split rental cars and hotel rooms with groups to save money--like most teenagers would. Then she went home and got her dream job at a multinational company leveraging her English skills.

Obviously travel is now curtailed. But our out of country au pair would rather be here saving $200 a week than at home unemployed and living in a 2 bedroom apartment with her parents and sibling under a stay at home order. She is from Milan and already spent months holed up in tiny quarters with no ability to even go outside during the first Italian wave. Covid affects her ability to socialize in both countries.