Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your high IQ kids have oppositional defiance disorder and aren't just acting out because they are so much smarter than everyone else.

Geez. My parents had five kids with IQs over 140, and none of us treated them so disrespectfully.

It just sounds like a massive rationalization. Please note that I'm not saying that you have poor parentings skills. It isn't a judgment on your parenting at all. Some kids have actual psychological disorders that warrant treatment, and that should be considered.

Really stinks to be the sixth, huh? Sorry for your bad luck - are you at least better looking or more athletic than your siblings?

well apparently the smart gene doesn't run in your family. and the person even said that he/she wasn't trying to say who has poor parenting skills or not, just that high IQ's don't correlate with disrespecting your parents. or I'm sorry do you have one of those "high IQ" kids that are horribly behaved and run all over you? must stink for you too and I'm sure it'll stink more for you when the real world hits you and your kids one day and you find out that they're not such geniuses after all but that they belong in the back of a cop car.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I think your post is sort of harsh, negative and unhelpful, but I'll bite.

She was not trying to be helpful, she started a thread and was not responding to someone's question. Does every post have to be about butterfiles and flowers?

Anyhoo, yes, there are quite a few out of control kids, I don't think this is anything new, each generation has spoiled kids due to poor parenting. Personally, I really wish I had the nuts to come out and tell one particular girlfriend of mine why we never can hang out, it is because of her kid. She has invited us on vacations and always reached out to get the kids together. I don't have the heart to tell her that her little monster and her lack of a spine in dealing with him makes it impossible for me to get the kids together. In our circle of friends we all can't stand her kid and have pulled away, but no one has told he why. I'm sure she is left wondering what is going on. I'm suprised she cannot see that there is something seriously wrong with her son's disrespectful behaviour and her and her husband's inablilty to deal with it in a healthy manner.

Look, I know kids can be difficult and some are born more difficult, defiant, stubborn, and rotten and there's not much you can do to alter personality, but what I take objection with is a parent who is weak and does not even give it a decent try to curb the behavior.

I think you must be the same parent whose friend with the rotten kid keeps wondering why they are not invited to the beach house?

I was a 'spirited' bratty kid with tough parents. I manipulated, and could argue my point six ways from Sunday. I spent a lot of time in trouble at home and at school. There was still a line I would never have crossed - I would never ever have spat, hit or cursed at my parents. That level of disrespect was not tolerated and I knew the line I couldn't cross. My parents were strict, in no way permissive and extremely exasperated with me growing up.

Had I been a child today I would have been classified as gifted, ADHD and oppositional defiant. Back in the 80's I was just a brat.

For the record I am not a bratty adult. I started growing out of my brattiness in middle school and by high school I had channeled it more into leadership and initiative. My parents stayed on my case day in and day out until I was done high school. I am still at times a little too intense and enjoy a good argument but I have pretty good self awareness now about when to pull back and when to shut up and when to apologize! Socially and professionally I have been successful and I am sure that is greatly in part to the fact my parents took a tough stance as parents - they were never my friends and rarely let me get away with anything. We clashed often and I exhausted them but now we have a great relationship. Don't give up!

I agree with OP. To be direct, parents these days are just lazy. It's easier to rationalize bad behavior than to discipline it. It frustrates me to no end. I have a 3 year old son who knows full well that there are boundaries and consequences for poor behavior. I also refuse to avoid disciplining in public. If my son acts up in public, he gets a time out in public. We have put him in a time out on the sidewalk, in the grocery store, at the playground, etc. It is my job to raise my son to be the best he can be (pardon the cliche), not to avoid adult judgment of my actually parenting in public. Parents just need to be that....parents. Buck up and do your job.

I;m the mom of apparently many who get invaded with neighbor kids from one family with no boundaries- sucks- still dealing with it.. these parents should really stop procreating if their first two come out so apparently out of control- add 3 more kids and it;s a bully attack of 5 kids charging your house/kids/yard/property - these kids are out of control and have blood/drool etc. all over them. Stop procreating!

Anonymous wrote:Well my "spirited" 3 year old got shooshed at the IHOP for yelling "HI" to a couple of fuddy duddies.

Talk about bringing a thread back from the dead!

Well my "spirited" 3 year old got shooshed at the IHOP for yelling "HI" to a couple of fuddy duddies.

Don't know whether to lol at the parents blaming their kids bratty behavior on "high IQ's" or what.

I can't believe how many D.C. parents actually believe that the reason their child is difficult is because of high IQ. We have five kids. Of our five, one is brilliant. She is a national merit scholar. She has been taking college level courses since the eighth grade. She was accepted to Yale. (She turned it down for another school). And she has never given us any trouble outside the typical teen drama.

Our other kids are bright, but not gifted. Our oldest was the most challenging. And our youngest seems to be following suit. But in my 22 years of parenting, I have never allowed a child to spit, hit, yell, or disobey without immediate consequences. Perhaps that's why after the age of about 2, my kids never acted out that way.

I can't help but chuckle when I hear moms in the D.C. area "reason" with their children. "Little Carson, you can't have a cookie right now because we don't eat non-organic, overly processed foods. And it's almost time for your lunch. I know you are upset. Please tell me how you feel. Use your words."

In the real world, the conversation goes more like: "No. You can't have a cookie. This no is not going to change. Do not ask me again. If you choose to ask me again, you won't have a cookie after lunch."

...and then you follow through every single time.

I am a school administrator. I cannot count how many times I have had some version of this sentence come out of the mouth of a parent who is in my office because of their child's behavior--"Billy is just so much more mature/intelligent/articulate than his peers. He cannot relate to them, so he ends up behaving inappropriately/disrespectfully/violently towards them out of frustration. One day the rest of the kids will mature to a level where he can relate to them and then he'll be fine." The variation on this theme is that Billy is more mature/intelligent/articulate than his peers and should be held to a different standard altogether.

I have been doing my job long enough (and been a parent long enough) to now say to parents like this what I used to just think to myself. If Billy is truly that brilliant and mature, he can be taught to understand that there is a difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. So we need to teach him. We need to reward the right choices and consistently demonstrate that the wrong choices have consequences. And by we, I mean all of the adults who interact with Billy at school and at home.

If he cannot understand the difference, that is a serious issue that needs real attention. We need to address that issue honestly and thoughtfully, calling upon the appropriate people and resources, rather than just pretend it's an inevitable by-product of brilliance and sweep it under the rug.

The most important part of this is that no matter why Billy behaves the way he does, we need to take it seriously, because it isn't working for anyone. It's not working for the teachers and the other kids, because Billy is disruptive, distracting, and occasionally a danger. And it's not working for Billy, because his behavior leaves him frustrated and isolated, which just makes things worse for everyone involved. So let's all take a deep breath and be honest, and really find a solution.

These kids are not brats, they are brain damaged!! Our children's generation all share one of a couple disorders:

Aliminum Poisoning

Mercury Poisoning


Go look up the symptoms. You'll see.

Why are we bumping this thread? It's a year old and nasty to boot.

Anonymous wrote:My brother and I were very smart with IQs well over 140. We would have never spit on our parents, told them to f-off or anything else I've seen my friends' kids do. These 'smart' kids have realized they can do anything that want and Mom won't react. If a 'smart' kid knew the wrath of god would come down of him for doing one of these things, he wouldn't do it. Ask any teacher, every parent thinks they are raising a genuis and most are not.

Yeah I know, chances are these little perceived "geniuses" really aren't any smarter than the average kid, doesn't take a very bright kid to realize what they're going to get away with. or maybe the parents just think their little brats are geniuses because they really are compared to them lol. at least the kids know what they're into, parents that are going to let them walk all over them and not even even bother to be parents. the parents just hide behind ideas like "oh he's just free spirited" "it's the flippin high IQ" or "she's just a kid, all kids have always acted like that." to justify their kids bad behavior. but yeah one poster really did mention the "flippin high IQ" thing, dumbest thing I've heard in a while but it is making me lul. I swear, idiots are increasing right along with horribly behaved kids. but the two do tend to correlate..

Don't know whether to lol at the parents blaming their kids bratty behavior on "high IQ's" or what. Yeah, more and more kid's behavior is getting worse and worse all the time, but it ain't because of high IQ's, think it's the opposite in a lot of cases actually..but the main reason being lack of discipline on the parents parts. Doesn't take a very high IQ to realize that your parents wanna be your friends or servants and not your parents and for the kids to know how to take full advantage of that. In short, you parents with "stubborn defiant children with high IQ's" really have kids that are nothing more than spoiled rotten brats. Might get a lot of people hating me for saying this, but it is the truth and I ain't sorry for sayin it.. peace out.

It would appear from the this thread that far too many parents exert no control their children and far too many are super sensitive when confronted with the fact that their children are brats. Yes, if your children are not wanted at another person's house, or you have been asked not to bring your children, the you should know that your children are brats and you, as a parent, bear this responsibility. Stop the denial because "high spirited; high IQ; , whatever your excuse--poor parenting is the underlying factor. Too bad if you don't like, or can't take the truth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love lax parents. Every time I hear a parent say, "Now Everrett/Mary, is it nice to kick the cat? How do you fink the wittle kittie feels when you do that?" or see them ignore their kids' spitting, hitting, disrespectful speech as toddlers, preschoolers, and elementary schoolers, I see dollar signs. Those kids are inevitable future clients for me.

Keep up the poor parenting, DC Metro!

Please tell me you're not a therapist b/c those lines rub me the wrong way.

talk about going into a field for the wrong reasons

I would guess PP is a criminal attorney and the spoiled brats of today will make this attorney rich.