Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much self-congratulating going on in this thread!

I will say, most of my friends treat their husbands terribly, in ways I would never tolerate in their DHs' shoes and would never dream of treating my DH -- nagging them like toddlers over imaginary germs and inconsequential details, replying to everything in a snippy way, rolling their eyes at them to others, demanding to be waited on, always "having a headache" -- and none ever seem to pay a price. I assumed these are the type of pansy men who have midlife crisis affairs with anyone who blows sunshine up their ass, because they're so desperate for respect and admiration. But who knows?

Awww sounds like this thread hit a nerve with you and there's a lot of projection going on (or wishful fantasizing)

Of course it's upsetting to watch people be rewarded for being unkind. Are you proud of it? (And if you're not unkind, then this wasn't about you.)

So you admit this is wishful thinking. Being demanding isn't being unkind, and you really need to check your conception of moral behavior required of women.

Ok Karen

Great, well thought out comeback, Joyce!

You’re a strange little wannabe bully. A classic hollering hit dog. It’s pretty sad.

I'm a bully because I clapped back when you called me a Karen? And I called out your sad excuses for responses?

Anyway... get some therapy and stop taking out your anger here. It's boring.

DP, idiot. You fight a lot over nothing, eh? Pathetic, sweetie.

+1. NP. And calling someone Joyce isn’t a clap back gramma

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much self-congratulating going on in this thread!

I will say, most of my friends treat their husbands terribly, in ways I would never tolerate in their DHs' shoes and would never dream of treating my DH -- nagging them like toddlers over imaginary germs and inconsequential details, replying to everything in a snippy way, rolling their eyes at them to others, demanding to be waited on, always "having a headache" -- and none ever seem to pay a price. I assumed these are the type of pansy men who have midlife crisis affairs with anyone who blows sunshine up their ass, because they're so desperate for respect and admiration. But who knows?

Awww sounds like this thread hit a nerve with you and there's a lot of projection going on (or wishful fantasizing)

Of course it's upsetting to watch people be rewarded for being unkind. Are you proud of it? (And if you're not unkind, then this wasn't about you.)

So you admit this is wishful thinking. Being demanding isn't being unkind, and you really need to check your conception of moral behavior required of women.

Ok Karen

Great, well thought out comeback, Joyce!

You’re a strange little wannabe bully. A classic hollering hit dog. It’s pretty sad.

I'm a bully because I clapped back when you called me a Karen? And I called out your sad excuses for responses?

Anyway... get some therapy and stop taking out your anger here. It's boring.

DP, idiot. You fight a lot over nothing, eh? Pathetic, sweetie.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Wow, some posters are getting really triggered over the thought of a demanding or confident woman. I wonder why that is.

It's interesting you use the word triggered. I find this post repugnant because it's yet another version of blame the woman for everything.

It's not "blame the woman for everything". It's "give credit to women". But I guess if you are in the doormat group you may take it as an attack since you are not in the group getting credit.

Except it's not giving credit for something. It's saying if a woman wasn't XYX she wouldn't get cheated on. I am far from a doormat which is how I can see OP's BS and call at your BS.

It is giving credit. The title is "why do demanding women get such great guys". That's giving credit.

You've chosen to interpret that as "why do undemanding women not get great guys" which is your projection based on your own life experience and probable rejection. Get some therapy.

OP, I'm curious how you define "demanding" and "easygoing." I don't think that demanding women necessarily get the best husbands and easygoing women get cheaters, but I do think that women with self respect get better mates and doormat women attract jerky men. I also think that being a passive doormat can bring a lot of other issues that aren't attractive to many men, such as not being able to run the home and kid domains effectively, not advocating for your kids, etc. It's somewhat sexist but often women still seem to be held to higher standards for this type of domestic work than men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Seem”

Is the opportune word in the subject header

It sure is. I know many that "seem" this way and their husbands were in fact cheating One such woman was on another board I used to frequent and sounded a lot like the women in this thread. and then poof! I wonder how she's doing now, she kind of disappeared after the affair, which I understand. An affair is devastating, but I'm sure it's harder when you've built yourself up to be this perfect person "who would never let an affair happen to her", it's got to sting that much more.

Yeah. That woman sounds an awful lot like you do now

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some posters are getting really triggered over the thought of a demanding or confident woman. I wonder why that is.

It's interesting you use the word triggered. I find this post repugnant because it's yet another version of blame the woman for everything.

It's not "blame the woman for everything". It's "give credit to women". But I guess if you are in the doormat group you may take it as an attack since you are not in the group getting credit.

Except it's not giving credit for something. It's saying if a woman wasn't XYX she wouldn't get cheated on. I am far from a doormat which is how I can see OP's BS and call at your BS.

Anonymous wrote:I treat my husband respectfully at all times and apologize when I don't. I try to be available for his physical needs as much as possible. I thank him for working so hard to support us all the time.

We are married 7 years and on our 4th kid and we are both happy. Yes, he does a lot. We both give 100%.

We'll see how it works out for you long term. I wouldnt want that life but if you are extremely beta I guess you can be happy... better you than me!

I treat my husband respectfully at all times and apologize when I don't. I try to be available for his physical needs as much as possible. I thank him for working so hard to support us all the time.

We are married 7 years and on our 4th kid and we are both happy. Yes, he does a lot. We both give 100%.

There is demanding who also gives a lot. There is demanding who is just selfish.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some posters are getting really triggered over the thought of a demanding or confident woman. I wonder why that is.

It's interesting you use the word triggered. I find this post repugnant because it's yet another version of blame the woman for everything.

It's not "blame the woman for everything". It's "give credit to women". But I guess if you are in the doormat group you may take it as an attack since you are not in the group getting credit.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some posters are getting really triggered over the thought of a demanding or confident woman. I wonder why that is.

It's interesting you use the word triggered. I find this post repugnant because it's yet another version of blame the woman for everything.

If you think that being "demanding" results in a happy marriage you are delusional.
Previously my wife would say "will you please..." and "thank you" but then she started saying "I want..." and "you need to..." and then getting angry about stuff. She did this after spending a large amount of time around older married women.
It didn't turn out well for our marriage. Previously we spend a lot of time together and I did a lot of things for her now I'm completely disconnected from her. After about 1.5 years of that behavior she stopped being so "demanding" (grumpy, difficult, angry, etc.) but I resent how she acted towards me and I don't feel the same towards her. The only reason I don't file for divorce is because of the destruction it would cause.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Seem”

Is the opportune word in the subject header

It sure is. I know many that "seem" this way and their husbands were in fact cheating One such woman was on another board I used to frequent and sounded a lot like the women in this thread. and then poof! I wonder how she's doing now, she kind of disappeared after the affair, which I understand. An affair is devastating, but I'm sure it's harder when you've built yourself up to be this perfect person "who would never let an affair happen to her", it's got to sting that much more.

Maybe, but it's probably a lot worse when you've laid down and allowed yourself to be disrespected by someone who later goes on to cheat on you. I know if I let myself be made a clown by TO THAT EXTENT it would be a hell of a lot more of an L to me. Going by the logic that it could happen to anyone, which I'm not sure is true, but for the sake of argument

Well I would think it hurts in both cases. But I'd wage it hurt more to be the woman you had for so many years spent blaming for her husband's faults.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some posters are getting really triggered over the thought of a demanding or confident woman. I wonder why that is.

Seriously.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Seem”

Is the opportune word in the subject header

It sure is. I know many that "seem" this way and their husbands were in fact cheating One such woman was on another board I used to frequent and sounded a lot like the women in this thread. and then poof! I wonder how she's doing now, she kind of disappeared after the affair, which I understand. An affair is devastating, but I'm sure it's harder when you've built yourself up to be this perfect person "who would never let an affair happen to her", it's got to sting that much more.

Maybe, but it's probably a lot worse when you've laid down and allowed yourself to be disrespected by someone who later goes on to cheat on you. I know if I let myself be made a clown by TO THAT EXTENT it would be a hell of a lot more of an L to me. Going by the logic that it could happen to anyone, which I'm not sure is true, but for the sake of argument