Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
DO NOT SHARE LIVING SPACE WITH NON-HOUSEHOLD MEMBERS DURING A PANDEMIC.

This.

Op, Darwinism clearly isn’t in your favor since you haven’t figured out the food sharing thing or the PANDEMIC.

LMAO

it sounds like op's friends weren't prepared to pull their weight for breakfast. I'd be annoyed too if we decided that everyone does breakfast on their own and then all of a sudden I have to feed more kids every day. any group trip requires consent on how to handle food. op stated what she preferred, sounded like no one complained about it and then it didnt happen according to plan. I agree to just roll with it, but if it was chronic, I'd be annoyed to.

Anonymous wrote:
DO NOT SHARE LIVING SPACE WITH NON-HOUSEHOLD MEMBERS DURING A PANDEMIC.

This.

Op, Darwinism clearly isn’t in your favor since you haven’t figured out the food sharing thing or the PANDEMIC.

Oh, and I'm sure you are all totally safe and the exception to social distancing rules. (And also the reason the US is in the shape it is.) Way to go, selfish a-hole.

We used to go on a yearly beach trip with 3 other families. We would discuss a high level meal plan, then one of the families would do a giant Costco trip and text the group the receipt. The cost would be split four ways. We did it for 6 years in a row before additional kids and schedules made it impossible to continue. We never had a single issue with finances or food. I can't imagine having to nickel-and-dime pieces of bacon.

If you truly cannot afford to feed a couple of extra kids breakfast for a long weekend, you need to have a blunt conversation with your friends and let them know.

This is ridiculous. People in the same house share food. Everyone should bring things or chip in and do a big grocery order. If you don't like it, then don't travel with other people.

I think the only possibility for OP to feel good about the trip is to bring it up beforehand with the other parents and ask for input. Mention that hey, last time we ran out what we brought for breakfast after the first day, because all the kids wanted to have some -- is there a better way we can handle this? Want to go in together on breakfast food, too, or should we just say 'no" so that we don't run out -- but that seems so rude to the kids! Any ideas?

And then sit back and wait. Odds are you'll either all chip in for everyone, or the other parents will have some way to sort it.

Anonymous wrote:It may seem like a silly question but it’s a real struggle for me.

We’re renting a large cabin/lodge in a state park for Labor weekend. There will be 3 families, total 10 people.

We agreed to alternate cooking dinners for the whole group. I explicitly said that I’m bringing breakfast and lunch food for our family only and don’t intend to to feed others for breakfast and lunch.

However, I said that too on our precious weekend together and my friend’s kids ended up eating literally all our breakfast food. Its awkward when our family is eating breakfast and the other kids ask if they can have some of it too and their mom doesn’t say anything. These are not little kids, they’re 11-13 years old.

Anyway, I’m trying to avoid the same situation. What would be an assertive way to handle it?

You are setting yourself up for conflict by proposing a system for breakfast that you already know doesn't work. I am not sure that you even need to be assertive. Plan responsibly with the adults for breakfast, as you did with dinner. The kids liked what you made for breakfast last time? Great. Offer to be in charge of bringing breakfast, instead of taking a turn with dinner. Or offer to rotate breakfast, along with dinner. If it is just the bacon that the kids enjoyed, get a Costco sized pack and make extra each day. The kids will love you for it. You are probably benefiting from something that other families are bringing to the gathering, otherwise you would not be traveling with them.

Remember that you are choosing to share a beautiful space in nature with this specific, chosen group of people. These are not "other travelers." This is not a forced survivalist experience, where you are grouped with strangers and each pack fights for enough to eat. If you are choosing to do this, have a spirit of cooperation about it. If you are already worried about kids eating your food or thinking up ways to "be assertive" at breakfast, it may not be the experience for you, or these might not be the people for you.

Pick breakfast and lunch items that they won’t want to eat. Problem solved.

Were you raised in a barn? How can anyone be so greedy and stingy?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: And if they ask for toast, just grab bread from their family’s stash and make it for the kids. Cereal is easy. Bring a lot, and just pool all the boxes when you get there.

Their mom already made them breakfast but when they see ours they want to eat ours. All of it. Until there is nothing left. No cereal l, no bacon, no bread, etc

Then when you cook bacon, only cook enough bacon for your family. That way there is none left for them to steal.
Keep all your dry goods in a big bin and lock it. That way they have no access.
Cook breakfast and lunch last out of the families. That way they have already eaten. And when they ask for food, redirect them to their own parents. You’ve been told this multiple times. I’m not sure why you haven’t grasped it yet.

Why don't the families going on this trip just agree head of time to share all food for all meals? The current arrangement apparently doesn't work, so take a new approach. Assign each meal to a family, agree on a budget and food items, and that family is responsible for bringing those food items: the Smiths have breakfast for Days 1-3, the Johnsons have lunch for Days 1-3 and the Larlos have dinner on those days. Depending on how long the trip is, at some point you'll need more food so you can discuss who will take which meal for the remaining days and each family is responsible for shopping for the food for their assigned meals. Since dinner is more labor-intensive, the families can still alternate who is responsible for cooking dinner each night regardless of who supplied the food for that night.

I truly don't know how you "agree to do your own thing" for breakfast and lunch when you're staying in the same cabin, unless you are going to label all of your food and stand guard during meal times. There are ALWAYS people who mooch off others in this scenario. When you know in advance that it will happen, as OP does, you either stop vacationing with them or you get proactive and change the arrangement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine making bacon in a shared house and not making enough for everyone.

All the bacon was gone on day 1 and we have several more days to go.
Is it hard to understand?

It's hard to understand why you wouldn't just bring enough bacon for everyone. You're cheap. Thankfully I don't have friends like you, nor do I do this to my friends.

NP. I really don’t get it. I’m not even rich but I would gladly spend an extra $100-200 to bring more food to share, rather than tell a kid they can’t have any of what I’m eating. We always have more food than we need.

Food really isn’t that expensive, especially junky vacation breakfast and lunch food.....

If this is such a problem, why not travel with just your nuclear family or get your own little cabin near the rental house and just meet for dinner?

It's a long weekend trip and we are talking breakfast! It wouldn't be an extra hundred bucks, maybe $20. Go to Aldi's. Get an extra couple of packs of bacon and cartons of eggs. I am not rich either but I cannot understand this at all.

OK I agree with most posters that it is ridiculous to cook bacon for a family of 3 in front of others and expect no one to want some, and that it is awkward to not share meals, but ...

if the situation is as OP described and people agreed ahead of time to do their own thing at lunch and breakfast, I can't imagine being the other parent and let my kid eat someone else's food. I would have said "You already had your breakfast, that is x's breakfast"

Hope this trip ends up being fun for everyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It may seem like a silly question but it’s a real struggle for me.

We’re renting a large cabin/lodge in a state park for Labor weekend. There will be 3 families, total 10 people.

We agreed to alternate cooking dinners for the whole group. I explicitly said that I’m bringing breakfast and lunch food for our family only and don’t intend to to feed others for breakfast and lunch.

However, I said that too on our precious weekend together and my friend’s kids ended up eating literally all our breakfast food. Its awkward when our family is eating breakfast and the other kids ask if they can have some of it too and their mom doesn’t say anything. These are not little kids, they’re 11-13 years old.

Anyway, I’m trying to avoid the same situation. What would be an assertive way to handle it?

I don't know why this thread is multiple pages. OP, there is no way to ensure that the other kids (or adults) won't ask for your food. The assertive way to handle it is to say no when they ask.

"Oh, yum bacon! Can I have some?"
"Good morning Larla! I'm sorry, I made that and the families agreed we are only cooking for each other at dinner. Your mom or dad should know what breakfast food your family brought."
"But I want bacon."
"If your parents want to get some for tomorrow, the market is down the street."

You are advocating that an adult tell a child in a shared family home, "The market is down the street!" I'm dead.

Not okay for a child to "rudely" eat food being eaten right in front of them, but totally okay for an adult to be rude to a child?