Anonymous
Post 08/19/2020 12:39     Subject: Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?
Anonymous wrote:Poor person question: what's the difference between au pair and nanny? Is it one of those "all au pairs are nannies but not all nannies are au pairs" kind of deals? (And how do those two things differ from babysitters?)


Au pairs are foreign and here on specific visas that allow them to work for lower wages in return for room and board, plus tightly controlled hours per week. They tend to be pretty young, and can only be in the States for 1 or 2 years.
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2020 11:49     Subject: Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?
Poor person question: what's the difference between au pair and nanny? Is it one of those "all au pairs are nannies but not all nannies are au pairs" kind of deals? (And how do those two things differ from babysitters?)
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2020 11:17     Subject: Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?
Anonymous wrote:I have known several au pairs, the ones from Eastern Europe are always on the hunt for a man so they can stay in the US. The ones I know all ended up marrying well off men, none were the dads they worked for but not for lack of trying.


This is what Wendi Deng Murdoch did. The parents of her host family divorced, she married the dad and then they divorced 2 years later.
I wouldn’t choose that life, but she’s been successful at dating and marrying influential men (Murdoch’s ex-wife and Putin’s ex-girlfriend) and creating her own entrepreneurial business.
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2020 11:00     Subject: Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
1. Au Pair, don't feel bad. It sounds like you two had a fun time and you ended it when it became untenable. The wife got what she deserved in that situation.

2. The rest of you, relax. Rematches happen, people make mistakes, and, whether you accept it or not, the adulterer is sometimes not the one most at fault... move past all of it with maturity and grace. It's the best form of revenge.

3. And get the money.
I love the idea of having an Au Pair living in the basement where I can sneak down and enjoy some sexy times. Good for you. It's woman like you who make this a happier world.


You know she's a human with feelings and expectations, right? To you, she's nothing more than a hole to make YOU happy. What do you have to offer to her other than crappy, fast and quiet sex so you won't wake up the mommy boss upstairs? You can't take her out anywhere, you can't buy her gifts, you can't take her on vacations. The PP response should be a wake up call to all the young women to look for someone young and available to make you happy. Or at least someone wealthy who is not scared to divorce his wife who is making the $.


A lot of Au Pairs are troubled and home sick. They are very young and immature. Of course, they see host dad as 'father figure'. Any 'daddy issues' they bring with them and this is an absolute disaster in the making.

Also, certain countries are fraught with problems with their Au Pairs.

That said, I have a friend that was an Au Pair and a wonderful one. Very professional with loads of integrity that would never even think of sleeping with the husband. She told me quite a few doozy stories that made me never want to hire an Au Pair. I work from home so had a nanny come into the house when the kids were mall. Nanny was my age, college degree, and zero interest in my husband. In fact, he rarely saw her because she left around the time he got home from work.

It's always a running joke about 'sleeping with the nanny'. I mean--look at Jude Law and Ben Affleck. I don't think looks have anything to do with men sleeping with people that work in the home--it's opportunity and something wrong with the men--think of Arnold and the housekeeper.


+1

One of my friends had the same au pair for the maximum amount of time (not sure how they renew, or whatever). My friend went on and on about how great the nanny was, but as it turned out, there was trouble brewing. The nanny wanted to stay in the states. I will leave it at that. I think there are reasons some wives/mothers don't trust the au pairs. Not saying all are bad, but to some, it is inviting trouble. You don't always know if they are coming from a bad situation, and looking for an out. This is according to my friend, not me.
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2020 11:00     Subject: Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?
Anonymous wrote:
I had a fling with a neighbor one summer while I was in college. She was maybe 30-31. They owned the lake house next to my parents. Looking back on it, I feel bad about it but I feel like she seduced me and enjoyed doing stuff to mess with my head.


Women love younger guys for affairs. I wouldn’t be surprised if she seduced you.
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2020 10:52     Subject: Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?
My XH slept with a mutual friend, and it was absolutely more devastating than any of the other infidelities that came to light.

There's something about realizing that this woman was still in my life, and the lives of our children, for years after the fact that is just much more of a betrayal than the other infidelities.
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2020 10:49     Subject: Re:Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I had an affair with my 20 year old neighbor during my starter marriage (no kids).

It was awesome. I'll always remember it fondly. He is so freaking hot. He really loved me, i wasn't quite as into him emotionally but our sex was amazing. Way better than my opioid-addicted ex who could rarely even perform. I was mentally checked out and planning to leave the marriage, only stayed for logistical reasons at the time. We were divorced within a year or so of starting the affair. Ex never found out. Sometimes I wonder why it was all so easy for me. I really have no regrets.

I'm remarried now and have children with my husband. I would never cheat on him, but I have considered leaving him several times, not for anyone else though.


Gross. Starter marriage? No regrets? Yiu would definitely benefit from serious self-reflection and therapy, but you sound way too shallow to actually do that.



Lol. Look in the mirror. Judgmental bitches are the worst.


I really hope 'starter marriages' do not involve children. Going into a marriage thinking it's a launching point yet procreating and bringing kids into that mess is plain awful.


Learn something new everyday...

"These women’s stories would probably be entertaining if they weren’t so downright depressing. For whether they call it a “starter” marriage, “beta” marriage or “test” marriage, the 25- to 35-year-old generation has a far more elastic definition of the concept of “forever.”

How elastic? A recent study found that 43 percent of millennials supported a form of marriage that allowed couples to easily split up after two years, while a full third were open to “marriage licenses” valid — like mortgages — for set periods of time. It’s an impressive figure, especially when you consider just a third of respondents still believe that marriage is “till death do us part.”

https://nypost.com/2016/03/29/millennials-latest-mistake-embracing-the-starter-marriage/
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2020 10:45     Subject: Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My dw and I had a nanny for our dc during the toddler years. The nanny was a very sweet person but also very large. I wonder if my wife picked out anlarge one on purpose?


If you have to ask, you know the answer to the question.


+1

Anonymous
Post 08/19/2020 10:45     Subject: Re:Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I had an affair with my 20 year old neighbor during my starter marriage (no kids).

It was awesome. I'll always remember it fondly. He is so freaking hot. He really loved me, i wasn't quite as into him emotionally but our sex was amazing. Way better than my opioid-addicted ex who could rarely even perform. I was mentally checked out and planning to leave the marriage, only stayed for logistical reasons at the time. We were divorced within a year or so of starting the affair. Ex never found out. Sometimes I wonder why it was all so easy for me. I really have no regrets.

I'm remarried now and have children with my husband. I would never cheat on him, but I have considered leaving him several times, not for anyone else though.


Gross. Starter marriage? No regrets? Yiu would definitely benefit from serious self-reflection and therapy, but you sound way too shallow to actually do that.



Lol. Look in the mirror. Judgmental bitches are the worst.


I really hope 'starter marriages' do not involve children. Going into a marriage thinking it's a launching point yet procreating and bringing kids into that mess is plain awful.
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2020 10:42     Subject: Re:Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?
Anonymous wrote:
I had an affair with my 20 year old neighbor during my starter marriage (no kids).

It was awesome. I'll always remember it fondly. He is so freaking hot. He really loved me, i wasn't quite as into him emotionally but our sex was amazing. Way better than my opioid-addicted ex who could rarely even perform. I was mentally checked out and planning to leave the marriage, only stayed for logistical reasons at the time. We were divorced within a year or so of starting the affair. Ex never found out. Sometimes I wonder why it was all so easy for me. I really have no regrets.

I'm remarried now and have children with my husband. I would never cheat on him, but I have considered leaving him several times, not for anyone else though.


Gross. Starter marriage? No regrets? Yiu would definitely benefit from serious self-reflection and therapy, but you sound way too shallow to actually do that.



Lol. Look in the mirror. Judgmental bitches are the worst.
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2020 10:36     Subject: Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?
Anonymous wrote:
I love the idea of having an "underpaid employee two decades my junior with whom I can have a predatory sexual relationship", I mean, Au Pair, living in the basement where I can sneak down and enjoy some sexy times. Good for you. It's woman like you who make this a happier world.


Fixed that for you.
it still sounds just as good.
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2020 10:18     Subject: Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I love the idea of having an "underpaid employee two decades my junior with whom I can have a predatory sexual relationship", I mean, Au Pair, living in the basement where I can sneak down and enjoy some sexy times. Good for you. It's woman like you who make this a happier world.


Fixed that for you.


Oh FFS, it's just a fantasy. Can't the man have a fantasy without you policing his thoughts? Sex with a young admiring woman, you horrible predator!!


NP here. So yeah, but fantasies about a young admiring woman are different than fantasies about someone that he has a lot of power over. Someone young and attractive liking you despite not needing to is a lot different than someone "liking" you because you are their boss, benefactor, and landlord. I can't be inside your head to police your fantasies, but if you're getting off on thinking about dominating someone in your care (there is no way an au pair has equal consent to her host, for example), then you might want to do some work on yourself is all I'm sayin'. Real adults don't need to prey on others for gratification.


If we're just talking about fantasies (nothing in the real world), there's nothing wrong with this. Lots of people have rape fantasies for Christ's sake -- and that's just fine. They're not trying to experience that in the real world.
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2020 21:05     Subject: Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?
Anonymous wrote:I have known several au pairs, the ones from Eastern Europe are always on the hunt for a man so they can stay in the US. The ones I know all ended up marrying well off men, none were the dads they worked for but not for lack of trying.

I was an Au Pair from EE. I don't know anybody who tried to get the dad. There were plenty of men to choose from guys waved, left notes on my car or simply just walked up to me. Didn't need the host dad at all.
Anonymous
Post 08/18/2020 19:16     Subject: Re:Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?
I had an affair with my 20 year old neighbor during my starter marriage (no kids).

It was awesome. I'll always remember it fondly. He is so freaking hot. He really loved me, i wasn't quite as into him emotionally but our sex was amazing. Way better than my opioid-addicted ex who could rarely even perform. I was mentally checked out and planning to leave the marriage, only stayed for logistical reasons at the time. We were divorced within a year or so of starting the affair. Ex never found out. Sometimes I wonder why it was all so easy for me. I really have no regrets.

I'm remarried now and have children with my husband. I would never cheat on him, but I have considered leaving him several times, not for anyone else though.


Gross. Starter marriage? No regrets? Yiu would definitely benefit from serious self-reflection and therapy, but you sound way too shallow to actually do that.

Anonymous
Post 08/18/2020 18:08     Subject: Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My dw and I had a nanny for our dc during the toddler years. The nanny was a very sweet person but also very large. I wonder if my wife picked out anlarge one on purpose?


If you have to ask, you know the answer to the question.


Our best nannies were also our prettiest nannies and I never really worried about them but I’m sure I always tried to look good! A good nanny is priceless whatever her lucks and you deal with it.