Anonymous wrote:The issue is not that he wants more time to spend with his kid. He's had that chance for years and never took it. The issue is that all of a sudden, halfway through his kid's childhood, he wants the ability to make decisions. This was prompted by a diagnosis that dad doesn't agree with. Hopefully judges can see the fact that dad is opportunistic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless the judge has reason to say no (abuse, etc), he/she will probably say yes. Sounds like your ex has someone whispering in his ear about the ADHD. Maybe his family? Just keep on keeping on taking your kid to therapy, etc. Nothing that I do with my kid requires two signatures except when I applied for his passport. Nothing school related or medical related either. He was diagnosed at Kennedy Krieger and none of it required anything from my ex.

Thanks for this info. I just don't want him saying our son doesn't need therapy or other interventions that I'm currently providing for my son. As for travel, I have always gotten his permission in a way of a notarized letter just in case they ask for it in other countries.

Anonymous wrote:I only read the first 4 pages and have to run. But let me just say that I think you should consult with a different lawyer. The fact that he's living off an inheritance does not magically make him destitute. The cost of the housing he has (I'm guessing it's similar to yours) would be construed as whatever the market value rent is. That's income, even if he doesn't actually touch the dollars. I'm guessing he isn't eating Spam and white bread, or never traveling, not subscribing to an internet service, paying utilities, etc... All of that is coming from somewhere besides a 1099.

Think about it. A former NFL star doesn't work anymore, but if he gets someone pregnant, they'll look at his wealth/assets when determining how much he has to pay in child support.

Anonymous wrote:The issue is not that he wants more time to spend with his kid. He's had that chance for years and never took it. The issue is that all of a sudden, halfway through his kid's childhood, he wants the ability to make decisions. This was prompted by a diagnosis that dad doesn't agree with. Hopefully judges can see the fact that dad is opportunistic.

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Anonymous wrote:You're a really good mother who has tried to make it easy for your child to have a relationship with his son. Hats off to you for going so long with having just a verbal agreement and while $400 is pretty laughable I'm glad he's shown some sense of responsibility by paying child support without having to get legal.

What do you think the driving reasons are for this sudden attempt to get legal? Somehow trying to avoid child support? Do you suspect he plans to move? A sudden realization that he has no real relationship with his son and is trying to do what he thinks he can to make up for lost time? He disagrees with your parenting on some fundamental level and wants a say? With middle and high school on the way he wants a say in where your son goes to school? Is bored self quarantining and wants a playmate on Sundays? Where is this coming from?

He disagrees that our son has ADD (apparently) although he has never actually said this to me. I read it in the complaint. I have kept him up to date on all of the testing, therapy, doctor's appt. He chose not to go to any. If he ever brought up the idea of doing something different I would have been open to listening. I want what is best for our son.

New poster. Sorry if this has been addressed but I can't read all of the thread now. Is it possible that the ex is making the "I don't believe son has ADD" the crux of his request? I'd be concerned that ex has developed some kind of anti-diagnosis bias, for lack of a better term, and for some reason has decided to get involved only to try to stymie therapy etc. I know a divorce situation where the father was dead set on believing the son did not have ADHD and fought mom over it constantly. The dad's take was that "my son is normal and perfectly fine and doesn't need useless interventions or meds!" Any chance, OP, that your ex has someone bending his ear lately about ADD not being "real" or something like that?

Dad can always take child for a second opinion. Mom wants more money, Dad wants more visitation and joint custody. Its a fair trade off. Mom's post, if it is real, makes no sense as she is living there so Dad can spend more time with his child so if she is in the same building for that reason then how is this a question. Its a non issue. So the issues are joint custody and child support. You compromise. Dad increases child support per the child support calculator or negotiate to lets say $650 a month from $400 and mom gives dad joint.

Have you read the thread? Dad doesn't want more visitation. He had Sundays all along and all he wants is once a week visits on Sunday, nothing else. Yes, she is living in the same building so he can spend more time with the child (than once a week) but so far he has not done that. He doesn't want more than 1/7th of the work so why should he have 1/2 of decision rights?

She lives in the same building as its the building she wants to live in. It has nothing to do with Dad. He is getting 4 days a month. That is equal to every other weekend. He is paying child support and it is 50% his child that's why.

Wrong on all accounts. I live in this building because of him. When our child was younger there was a hope that the proximity would facilitate a better and more frequent contact. As the years went on it became apparent that us living here meant nothing to my ex but my child was established at his school and I didn’t want to uproot him. No, a few hours on Sundays is not parenting by any stretch. They play video games and he feeds him McDonalds every weekend. Tells DS he has no money for anything better. Ex is actually a fenomenal cook but can’t be bothered to prepare a single meal for his child. I on the other hand, cook all of our meals, do drop off and pick up at school (another reason I live where I live). I am responsible for all of the homework which is not easy for a child with ADD. I take him to all of the drs and therapy appts, I do all of the school meetings. I do this for my child of course, but please cut the s”it about how a few hours of mine craft and movies is deserving of 50% legal custody. He doesn’t know his own son. How is he going to make decisions?

Furthermore, he cries to our son how he doesn’t have money for anything but McDonald’s but he has thousands to spend on a lawyer.

He is feeding the child so where is the issue. It sounds like you only will allow them to spend time together IF he does it your way by your rules. If he wants to spend his time playing video games and McDonalds that is ok. That is not abuse or neglect. It may nt be the best parenting but the important thing is they are spending time together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I read them. Op wants more more and limited visits and yet says she needs more money to live in the same building as dad. None of it makes sense. She needs to file for child support for free at the office of child support and make a visitation plan. Or, if she wants him out of her child’s life move, stop taking child support and be done with it. She wants everything and not compromising. It would be nice to hear dads side but nothing makes sense that she says she has to live there for dad and yet dad never sees the child.

You should try re-reading the thread again and pay attention. The child's father has filed a motion for legal custody. That's the ENTIRE REASON for the thread.

Thank you.

Good for him. Hopefully the judge will allow him to be more involved.

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Anonymous wrote:You're a really good mother who has tried to make it easy for your child to have a relationship with his son. Hats off to you for going so long with having just a verbal agreement and while $400 is pretty laughable I'm glad he's shown some sense of responsibility by paying child support without having to get legal.

What do you think the driving reasons are for this sudden attempt to get legal? Somehow trying to avoid child support? Do you suspect he plans to move? A sudden realization that he has no real relationship with his son and is trying to do what he thinks he can to make up for lost time? He disagrees with your parenting on some fundamental level and wants a say? With middle and high school on the way he wants a say in where your son goes to school? Is bored self quarantining and wants a playmate on Sundays? Where is this coming from?

He disagrees that our son has ADD (apparently) although he has never actually said this to me. I read it in the complaint. I have kept him up to date on all of the testing, therapy, doctor's appt. He chose not to go to any. If he ever brought up the idea of doing something different I would have been open to listening. I want what is best for our son.

New poster. Sorry if this has been addressed but I can't read all of the thread now. Is it possible that the ex is making the "I don't believe son has ADD" the crux of his request? I'd be concerned that ex has developed some kind of anti-diagnosis bias, for lack of a better term, and for some reason has decided to get involved only to try to stymie therapy etc. I know a divorce situation where the father was dead set on believing the son did not have ADHD and fought mom over it constantly. The dad's take was that "my son is normal and perfectly fine and doesn't need useless interventions or meds!" Any chance, OP, that your ex has someone bending his ear lately about ADD not being "real" or something like that?

Dad can always take child for a second opinion. Mom wants more money, Dad wants more visitation and joint custody. Its a fair trade off. Mom's post, if it is real, makes no sense as she is living there so Dad can spend more time with his child so if she is in the same building for that reason then how is this a question. Its a non issue. So the issues are joint custody and child support. You compromise. Dad increases child support per the child support calculator or negotiate to lets say $650 a month from $400 and mom gives dad joint.

Have you read the thread? Dad doesn't want more visitation. He had Sundays all along and all he wants is once a week visits on Sunday, nothing else. Yes, she is living in the same building so he can spend more time with the child (than once a week) but so far he has not done that. He doesn't want more than 1/7th of the work so why should he have 1/2 of decision rights?

She lives in the same building as its the building she wants to live in. It has nothing to do with Dad. He is getting 4 days a month. That is equal to every other weekend. He is paying child support and it is 50% his child that's why.

Wrong on all accounts. I live in this building because of him. When our child was younger there was a hope that the proximity would facilitate a better and more frequent contact. As the years went on it became apparent that us living here meant nothing to my ex but my child was established at his school and I didn’t want to uproot him. No, a few hours on Sundays is not parenting by any stretch. They play video games and he feeds him McDonalds every weekend. Tells DS he has no money for anything better. Ex is actually a fenomenal cook but can’t be bothered to prepare a single meal for his child. I on the other hand, cook all of our meals, do drop off and pick up at school (another reason I live where I live). I am responsible for all of the homework which is not easy for a child with ADD. I take him to all of the drs and therapy appts, I do all of the school meetings. I do this for my child of course, but please cut the s”it about how a few hours of mine craft and movies is deserving of 50% legal custody. He doesn’t know his own son. How is he going to make decisions?

Furthermore, he cries to our son how he doesn’t have money for anything but McDonald’s but he has thousands to spend on a lawyer.

Anonymous wrote:

I read them. Op wants more more and limited visits and yet says she needs more money to live in the same building as dad. None of it makes sense. She needs to file for child support for free at the office of child support and make a visitation plan. Or, if she wants him out of her child’s life move, stop taking child support and be done with it. She wants everything and not compromising. It would be nice to hear dads side but nothing makes sense that she says she has to live there for dad and yet dad never sees the child.

You should try re-reading the thread again and pay attention. The child's father has filed a motion for legal custody. That's the ENTIRE REASON for the thread.

Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're a really good mother who has tried to make it easy for your child to have a relationship with his son. Hats off to you for going so long with having just a verbal agreement and while $400 is pretty laughable I'm glad he's shown some sense of responsibility by paying child support without having to get legal.

What do you think the driving reasons are for this sudden attempt to get legal? Somehow trying to avoid child support? Do you suspect he plans to move? A sudden realization that he has no real relationship with his son and is trying to do what he thinks he can to make up for lost time? He disagrees with your parenting on some fundamental level and wants a say? With middle and high school on the way he wants a say in where your son goes to school? Is bored self quarantining and wants a playmate on Sundays? Where is this coming from?

He disagrees that our son has ADD (apparently) although he has never actually said this to me. I read it in the complaint. I have kept him up to date on all of the testing, therapy, doctor's appt. He chose not to go to any. If he ever brought up the idea of doing something different I would have been open to listening. I want what is best for our son.

New poster. Sorry if this has been addressed but I can't read all of the thread now. Is it possible that the ex is making the "I don't believe son has ADD" the crux of his request? I'd be concerned that ex has developed some kind of anti-diagnosis bias, for lack of a better term, and for some reason has decided to get involved only to try to stymie therapy etc. I know a divorce situation where the father was dead set on believing the son did not have ADHD and fought mom over it constantly. The dad's take was that "my son is normal and perfectly fine and doesn't need useless interventions or meds!" Any chance, OP, that your ex has someone bending his ear lately about ADD not being "real" or something like that?

Dad can always take child for a second opinion. Mom wants more money, Dad wants more visitation and joint custody. Its a fair trade off. Mom's post, if it is real, makes no sense as she is living there so Dad can spend more time with his child so if she is in the same building for that reason then how is this a question. Its a non issue. So the issues are joint custody and child support. You compromise. Dad increases child support per the child support calculator or negotiate to lets say $650 a month from $400 and mom gives dad joint.

Have you read the thread? Dad doesn't want more visitation. He had Sundays all along and all he wants is once a week visits on Sunday, nothing else. Yes, she is living in the same building so he can spend more time with the child (than once a week) but so far he has not done that. He doesn't want more than 1/7th of the work so why should he have 1/2 of decision rights?

She lives in the same building as its the building she wants to live in. It has nothing to do with Dad. He is getting 4 days a month. That is equal to every other weekend. He is paying child support and it is 50% his child that's why.

Why isn't Dad taking more time with his child when the child is so close? He can you know. He's not working. Why is a non-working father choosing to see his child only once a week?

Every child is 50% someone's, yet not every custody is split 50/50. Let's not confuse sperm donation with parenting. If it's 50% his child, he should do 50% of the work. Otherwise he should shut up and be grateful someone is taking care of your offspring.

I read them. Op wants more more and limited visits and yet says she needs more money to live in the same building as dad. None of it makes sense. She needs to file for child support for free at the office of child support and make a visitation plan. Or, if she wants him out of her child’s life move, stop taking child support and be done with it. She wants everything and not compromising. It would be nice to hear dads side but nothing makes sense that she says she has to live there for dad and yet dad never sees the child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're a really good mother who has tried to make it easy for your child to have a relationship with his son. Hats off to you for going so long with having just a verbal agreement and while $400 is pretty laughable I'm glad he's shown some sense of responsibility by paying child support without having to get legal.

What do you think the driving reasons are for this sudden attempt to get legal? Somehow trying to avoid child support? Do you suspect he plans to move? A sudden realization that he has no real relationship with his son and is trying to do what he thinks he can to make up for lost time? He disagrees with your parenting on some fundamental level and wants a say? With middle and high school on the way he wants a say in where your son goes to school? Is bored self quarantining and wants a playmate on Sundays? Where is this coming from?

He disagrees that our son has ADD (apparently) although he has never actually said this to me. I read it in the complaint. I have kept him up to date on all of the testing, therapy, doctor's appt. He chose not to go to any. If he ever brought up the idea of doing something different I would have been open to listening. I want what is best for our son.

New poster. Sorry if this has been addressed but I can't read all of the thread now. Is it possible that the ex is making the "I don't believe son has ADD" the crux of his request? I'd be concerned that ex has developed some kind of anti-diagnosis bias, for lack of a better term, and for some reason has decided to get involved only to try to stymie therapy etc. I know a divorce situation where the father was dead set on believing the son did not have ADHD and fought mom over it constantly. The dad's take was that "my son is normal and perfectly fine and doesn't need useless interventions or meds!" Any chance, OP, that your ex has someone bending his ear lately about ADD not being "real" or something like that?

Dad can always take child for a second opinion. Mom wants more money, Dad wants more visitation and joint custody. Its a fair trade off. Mom's post, if it is real, makes no sense as she is living there so Dad can spend more time with his child so if she is in the same building for that reason then how is this a question. Its a non issue. So the issues are joint custody and child support. You compromise. Dad increases child support per the child support calculator or negotiate to lets say $650 a month from $400 and mom gives dad joint.

Have you read the thread? Dad doesn't want more visitation. He had Sundays all along and all he wants is once a week visits on Sunday, nothing else. Yes, she is living in the same building so he can spend more time with the child (than once a week) but so far he has not done that. He doesn't want more than 1/7th of the work so why should he have 1/2 of decision rights?

She lives in the same building as its the building she wants to live in. It has nothing to do with Dad. He is getting 4 days a month. That is equal to every other weekend. He is paying child support and it is 50% his child that's why.

Anonymous wrote:Unless the judge has reason to say no (abuse, etc), he/she will probably say yes. Sounds like your ex has someone whispering in his ear about the ADHD. Maybe his family? Just keep on keeping on taking your kid to therapy, etc. Nothing that I do with my kid requires two signatures except when I applied for his passport. Nothing school related or medical related either. He was diagnosed at Kennedy Krieger and none of it required anything from my ex.