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Anonymous wrote:Households with a stay-at-home parent have fared the best during these closures; they already have the infrastructure in place for one designated adult to watch and set up home school for the children while the other parent continues work uninterrupted AND their expenses were already adjusted to one income.

This seems stupidly obvious.

All the SAHMs I know have cracked under the pressure of having school age kids home all day every day without any respite. No school. No classes on Saturday. A lot of alcohol themed posts on social media.

Drama-queens!

Yes, it is more work than usual because - everyone is home, weekly cleaning lady is not coming and no restaurants/delivery/take outs. But, most of us have divvied up the work (not raising snowflakes here) and taken charge. My kids and DH are working from home and they have not missed a beat because the kitchen and home is running well. My house is still being cleaned top-to-bottom on the weekends when I do not cook. Kids are handling daily loads of laundry, folding and putting it away. On an average we do 3 loads of laundry daily. Our dishwasher is running 2-3 times a day. Lots of amazing food being cooked. Everyone is hitting the treadmill too.

It is hard when both parents are working, but, c'mon - it is the luxury and security of two incomes that most SAHMs do not have. In normal circumstance, WOHMs are able to outsource many things. These are extraordinary times. Yes, it means that WOHMs may be more slammed right now, but they may have more financial ability to survive job loss etc. I would never have become a SAHM if I did not have financial security.

Not this WOHM. Typical DCUM response that with two incomes, we can outsource cleaning etc. the only thing I outsource is childcare and that’s almost my entire salary.

Yes. DCUM is topsy-turvy world. There is a larger number of wealthy people here who will be able to withstand this. In my own middle class circle, HHI range from $150K - $450K. I see a lot SAHMs in the higher end of this HHI. But, most of these women that I know, who have stayed at home as SAHMs even after their kids have become school-aged, have husbands in very cushy and secure jobs, they have a lot of financial cushion (living way below their means) and they are heavily insured. These are also women who are highly educated and were in the workforce making a lot of money at one time. Outside of DCUM and around the world, this is not the norm. The norm is that women are economically vulnerable everywhere and SAHMs are invariably in a worse financial situation than a WOHM. If all things are equal, being a WOHM is better for the financial health of the family. But, all things are not equal.

$450K IS NOT MIDDLE CLASS!!!

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Anonymous wrote:Disagree. OTOH there will be a lot of SAHMs looking for work because their DHs lost their jobs. Just like after 2008.

Disagree. As the PP sahm. It depends if they were true luxury sahm. If they were he’s a head of a board, they will not lose their jobs. Sahm in the country making on $100 is not luxury sahm. Sorry.

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Anonymous wrote:I think people realize how insane it is to forgo any secure salary and realize the pointlessness of being at home with your children versus having them in childcare. Zero difference in kid outcome.

It’s the day to day that matters, not the outcome. Hasn’t this recent event taught you anything? As cliches as it is to say, it’s also true: all that is guaranteed us is today. I’d rather spend my time at home with my kids and husband, taking care of my house and garden, feathering my nest so to speak, Pursuing my hobbies, then working to make some rich people slightly richer.

your kids and husband are home all day? who pays for the feathering?

He works from home in tech. We don’t live in dc.

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Anonymous wrote:I think people realize how insane it is to forgo any secure salary and realize the pointlessness of being at home with your children versus having them in childcare. Zero difference in kid outcome.

It’s the day to day that matters, not the outcome. Hasn’t this recent event taught you anything? As cliches as it is to say, it’s also true: all that is guaranteed us is today. I’d rather spend my time at home with my kids and husband, taking care of my house and garden, feathering my nest so to speak, Pursuing my hobbies, then working to make some rich people slightly richer.

your kids and husband are home all day? who pays for the feathering?

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Anonymous wrote:I think people realize how insane it is to forgo any secure salary and realize the pointlessness of being at home with your children versus having them in childcare. Zero difference in kid outcome.

It’s the day to day that matters, not the outcome. Hasn’t this recent event taught you anything? As cliches as it is to say, it’s also true: all that is guaranteed us is today. I’d rather spend my time at home with my kids and husband, taking care of my house and garden, feathering my nest so to speak, Pursuing my hobbies, then working to make some rich people slightly richer.

Anonymous wrote:I think people realize how insane it is to forgo any secure salary and realize the pointlessness of being at home with your children versus having them in childcare. Zero difference in kid outcome.

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Anonymous wrote:Households with a stay-at-home parent have fared the best during these closures; they already have the infrastructure in place for one designated adult to watch and set up home school for the children while the other parent continues work uninterrupted AND their expenses were already adjusted to one income.

But that one salary is not stable. Even Law firms are cutting salaries. These people are also f$cked in many cases.

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Anonymous wrote:Millions of Americans live in multi-generational households. There was a big article about it yesterday. We do as well.

20%

Asian/Black/Hispanic closer to 30%

The uptick also is mostly due to immigration and 25-29 year old unable to buy houses

Sure, pre corona. What those polls don't show is how many of those families have split up for the safety of the elderly or other high risk family members during the epidemic especially given the fact that young children are believed to be asymptomatic carriers. Families have fractured and come together depending on the particular jobs and health status of its members. You can see it on this board - some families with health care workers have split up and some have invited the elderly in with them to ride this out. What we don't know is how long it will take for those family groups to come back together especially when schools return in the fall (if they do). A lot is changing and quickly.

Maybe some of the “middle class” (lol) making $400 k per year can do this, but it doesn’t work for a soon to be family of 5 making under $150k. Not complaining as we’re luckier than most, but this board is disproportionately wealthy and it shows often in these discussions.

Split up where? You think most families in America have an extra house lying around?

We’re multigenerational and my parents have to watch the kids so we can work. The economic survival of the household depends on it.

I know a few families that moved into rentals deliberately to split the grandparents away for their safety.

Anonymous wrote:Disagree. OTOH there will be a lot of SAHMs looking for work because their DHs lost their jobs. Just like after 2008.