Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow OP. I’m sure she wants you to do a lot of other things that you’re unwilling to do as well. Just tell her you’re not gonna do it and that’s it. Are you a grown woman or what?

Do you always find it easy to deal with parents? Come on.

OP, If this is you, it’s starting to seem like you just want to argue with people. You’ve gotten a range of advice. You haven’t told us very much about the specific conversations you have had with your mother, so other than these kinds of general responses – – some of which are on your side and some of which are not – – it’s not really clear what you want from us here at DCUM. You are the one who knows your mother, you are the one who knows your dynamic with her, and you are the one who knows the specifics of what you’ve already said to her and tried with her. What more do you want from us? At this point you are just quibbling with various posters who are saying things to you that you don’t like (as happens to every single OP on every single thread on this site). Whether your response to them is justified or not, it’s sort of beside the point. What more do you want from us?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's good for your kids to feel comfortable with saying grace. They'll encounter it a lot in other settings.

Like where? In nearly 40 years of life I have very rarely encountered anyone who regularly says grace at mealtimes. I think one of my college roommates did. Pretty much no one else.

I have a good friend who is protestant who says grace before every meal, even when we are out to lunch, she'll close her eyes for a few seconds to say it.

Was just at a hotel the other day and noticed the mother of a family also doing it.

Both African American, by the way.

What does their race have to do with this? You’ve seen this on two occasions, so it means that it’s a common occurrence? You’re an oddball.

Why do you find it necessary to insult people? Not necessary even if you disagree. What religion, or none, are you?

Yeah I would tell your mom it’s none of her business. We are raising our kids interfaith-ish (not particularly observant but exposing them to Christianity and Judaism). DD is already in a church-based preschool which is more than enough Christianity as far as I’m concerned, but MIL keeps buying her more Jesus books. I discovered a pile of them in her apartment (in our house) and was like, are you building your own Christian kid-book library down here? And she almost defiantly said, “Yes.” I gave her the side eye and said that’s not really necessary. I’m not going to throw them out or anything but if she keeps it up we’re going to have to have a talk about her role in her grandchildren’s religious education—namely, there isn’t one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's good for your kids to feel comfortable with saying grace. They'll encounter it a lot in other settings.

Like where? In nearly 40 years of life I have very rarely encountered anyone who regularly says grace at mealtimes. I think one of my college roommates did. Pretty much no one else.

I have a good friend who is protestant who says grace before every meal, even when we are out to lunch, she'll close her eyes for a few seconds to say it.

Was just at a hotel the other day and noticed the mother of a family also doing it.

Both African American, by the way.

What does their race have to do with this? You’ve seen this on two occasions, so it means that it’s a common occurrence? You’re an oddball.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mother has no say in your DD's religion. Tell her grace doesn't follow your religious beliefs and she needs to stop. Former christian protestant, current atheist here. We never said grace. I found it uncomfortable as a child when eating with catholics who said grace and we were all christian. It's understandable that you do not want your child to do this. Put your foot down.

That's why kids should be raised to feel comfortable with saying grace. In my experience most families say grace before a meal. I already posted, but OP's kids will come across this again and again in life. Why not help them feel comfortable with it? Why hex them with that discomfort?

What bubble do you live in? In your experience? Do you know that there are billions of people all around the world whose experiences are different to yours? Narrow-minded idiots like you really burn my ass.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your problem is that your mom was not born Jewish, but Catholic and it shows. You are embarrassed by this

Well, she is still your mother. You cannot change her now, not at this age.

And orthodox Jews believe you cannot be Jewish if your mother is not Jewish, hence this gentile custom has given you a new identity crisis.

This tells a lot about you and the community of people you live amongst.

Interesting

Interesting. Your post tells me that you have a serious, untreated asshole problem.

Anonymous wrote:Wow OP. I’m sure she wants you to do a lot of other things that you’re unwilling to do as well. Just tell her you’re not gonna do it and that’s it. Are you a grown woman or what?

Do you always find it easy to deal with parents? Come on.

Wow OP. I’m sure she wants you to do a lot of other things that you’re unwilling to do as well. Just tell her you’re not gonna do it and that’s it. Are you a grown woman or what?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do have to say, OP, that I think it’s really weird that you’re making this an issue. Allow your mother to say grace when she’s there for meals, and tell her that when she’s not there you don’t say grace because it’s not your religion. It’s a simple as that. What is the problem? My suspicion is that you don’t want her to say it even when she is there, and that’s just really uncool of you. But truly religious person, as you purport yourself to be, respects and allows the free exercise of someone else’s religion. Especially if it’s your mother.

I'm sure part of the issue is that Grandma expects the child to say Christian grace when she is there. Which is not acceptable, obviously.

She also wants us to say it every day when she’s not there.

Please just focus on what I’m saying and don’t make assumptions about my motives.

Anonymous wrote:I do have to say, OP, that I think it’s really weird that you’re making this an issue. Allow your mother to say grace when she’s there for meals, and tell her that when she’s not there you don’t say grace because it’s not your religion. It’s a simple as that. What is the problem? My suspicion is that you don’t want her to say it even when she is there, and that’s just really uncool of you. But truly religious person, as you purport yourself to be, respects and allows the free exercise of someone else’s religion. Especially if it’s your mother.

I'm sure part of the issue is that Grandma expects the child to say Christian grace when she is there. Which is not acceptable, obviously.

Anonymous wrote:I do have to say, OP, that I think it’s really weird that you’re making this an issue. Allow your mother to say grace when she’s there for meals, and tell her that when she’s not there you don’t say grace because it’s not your religion. It’s a simple as that. What is the problem? My suspicion is that you don’t want her to say it even when she is there, and that’s just really uncool of you. But truly religious person, as you purport yourself to be, respects and allows the free exercise of someone else’s religion. Especially if it’s your mother.

I have zero problem with her saying it. I don’t appreciate you making that assumption. My issue is she keeps pushing us to say it even when she’s not there.

I do have to say, OP, that I think it’s really weird that you’re making this an issue. Allow your mother to say grace when she’s there for meals, and tell her that when she’s not there you don’t say grace because it’s not your religion. It’s a simple as that. What is the problem? My suspicion is that you don’t want her to say it even when she is there, and that’s just really uncool of you. But truly religious person, as you purport yourself to be, respects and allows the free exercise of someone else’s religion. Especially if it’s your mother.

You’re right, OP. You didn’t say that. Another ignorant poster did. My apologies.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no discrimination against Catholics. That is ridiculous.

Your ignorance of American history is astounding. Google is your friend.

PP said is, not was.

Do you also think there’s a war on Christmas?

Nope. And you’re confusing Christianity with Catholicism. You really don’t get it.

Is Catholicism not a part of Christianity?

Catholics are not the ones running around complaining about the so-called “War on Christmas.” That’s what you don’t get. Although in your case, yea, you probably see all branches of Christianity as a monolith and are prejudiced against all of it.

Umm, no I’m not. Stop making assumptions and making this about you. It’s not about Catholics or anything else like that.

You’re arguing that there’s no longer any prejudice in this country against Catholics. You have no credibility.

OP’s position is that the only religion she knows where folks say grace is Catholicism. That may be her personal experience but it’s simply not universally true. It’s more of a Protestant thing. I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school my entire life. Virtually everyone I knew through college was Catholic. Nobody said grace before a meal. Nobody. But from time to time we’d be around Protestants who did. And we thought it was weird.

OP here. When did I ever say that?!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no discrimination against Catholics. That is ridiculous.

Your ignorance of American history is astounding. Google is your friend.

PP said is, not was.

Do you also think there’s a war on Christmas?

Nope. And you’re confusing Christianity with Catholicism. You really don’t get it.

Is Catholicism not a part of Christianity?

Catholics are not the ones running around complaining about the so-called “War on Christmas.” That’s what you don’t get. Although in your case, yea, you probably see all branches of Christianity as a monolith and are prejudiced against all of it.

Umm, no I’m not. Stop making assumptions and making this about you. It’s not about Catholics or anything else like that.

You’re arguing that there’s no longer any prejudice in this country against Catholics. You have no credibility.

OP’s position is that the only religion she knows where folks say grace is Catholicism. That may be her personal experience but it’s simply not universally true. It’s more of a Protestant thing. I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school my entire life. Virtually everyone I knew through college was Catholic. Nobody said grace before a meal. Nobody. But from time to time we’d be around Protestants who did. And we thought it was weird.