Mom of a teen here. I think this is a pretty even mix of how you parent and who your kids are.

My son was never one to be rough with furniture or run around excessively. He didn't really roughhouse with other kids. It was who he is. We also discouraged this in general and had boundaries about where we ran and where we walked, and how we interacted with people and things and animals. He got plenty of exercise, but just not in ways that damaged our stuff, was dangerous, or bothered neighbors (when we lived in apartments). For us it also helped to have pets because we knew how to be gentle and not run around indoors to scare or hurt them.

He's an athlete now, so there's really no correlation for us between "being a boy" and "being sporty."

Of course things got damaged, but overall, we were not a family of cough jumpers and wall climbers. If I'd been given another kid? Who knows.

My step grandchildren are teens and they stand and climb on my new sectional. Their parents never correct them because they play and hang their legs over the backs of the sofa. I’ve seen the parents walk across sectionals before, too. I can’t understand why they feel this is appropriate. When sitting at the dining room table, they put their feet on their chairs and their knees are up. How does one deal with a group like this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did “disrespect” become a word?

Verb, 1614

Noun, 1621

Only 400 yrs ago? That is why it still sounds so new to us.

Anonymous wrote:What are you supposed to do when the floor turns to lava if you can’t stand on the furniture?

This is what I was wondering! I still remember going from couch cushion to couch cushion on the floor so I didn't fall in to the lava 40 yrs ago. My kids are 10 and up and don't stand or jump on the sofa anymore. They are well behaved. So am I.

Now the drama we get from family is about letting our dogs lie on the sofa. I like my dogs cuddling on the sofa with me so I ignore it.

I’m a neat freak (people always comment on how clean my house is). I grew up in a very conservative environment where I wouldn’t have ever even considered putting my bare feet on the couch. I let my three kids jump all over the damn couch and in fact I bought a sectional with multiple pieces so they could move them around for obstacle courses. It horrified some guests but it’s good for my kids and they’re not hurting each other or anything I care about so why not. Kids need to move. Like others have said, they 100% know not to go to someone else’s house and start jumping.

Her house, her rules.

It sounds like her kids to get to have a lot of fun.

Anonymous wrote:A child took a baseball bat to one of my tables. His mother did tell him to stop.

Afterward, I changed my furniture to be the kind that can be beaten with baseball bats. Problem solved.

You could say to the kids that it hurts the sofa's feelings when people walk on him. If they are young enough, they may resonate with that. [i]That has worked for me in the past, and it is a gentle way to redirect their attention and behavior.

There is no child young enough for that to work. If the couch's feelings get hurt when people walk on him, how does he react when people fart on him?

A child took a baseball bat to one of my tables. His mother did tell him to stop.

Afterward, I changed my furniture to be the kind that can be beaten with baseball bats. Problem solved.

You could say to the kids that it hurts the sofa's feelings when people walk on him. If they are young enough, they may resonate with that. That has worked for me in the past, and it is a gentle way to redirect their attention and behavior.

Anonymous wrote:I cannot respect any couch that does not first respect itself. Sounds to me like this furniture got what it deserved.

LOL

Anonymous wrote:What are you supposed to do when the floor turns to lava if you can’t stand on the furniture?

Melt in place, right there on the floor. And blame mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People keep saying “get back to us when you have kids!” but weren’t we all kids at one time? I never did this to my parents’ furniture as a kid. Y’all were jumping all over your furniture growing up?

I was. We used to pretend the floor was lava and we couldn’t touch it or we would die.

Floor is lava! Such an awesome game, and my kids (now 7 and 10) have spent many glorious hours climbing all over my tv room couch and cushions playing that game. They also know that you don't go to other people's houses and climb on their furniture unless that parent has approved of the floor is lava/fort building/pillow fight/whatever.

Kids aren't dumb. They understand that there are different rules for different places, and being able to climb on the old couch at your house doesn't mean you're allowed to climb on grandma's couch.

My ILs are a very “typical”, seemingly strict German couple. They dress impreccably, their house is spotless, and all their things are in good repair - heck, MIL just gave DD one of her stuffed toys from childhood. DH and his brother are pretty straight laced adults with excellent jobs.

They fully support couch jumping, and apparently did the same with their sons and their (older than DD) grandchildren. I was shocked, but they really think the childhood experience overrides “things”.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People keep saying “get back to us when you have kids!” but weren’t we all kids at one time? I never did this to my parents’ furniture as a kid. Y’all were jumping all over your furniture growing up?

I was. We used to pretend the floor was lava and we couldn’t touch it or we would die.

Us too, except for the formal living room (which was never used because we rarely had company).
My question is, how did that lava get into so many houses?

Plate tectonics.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People keep saying “get back to us when you have kids!” but weren’t we all kids at one time? I never did this to my parents’ furniture as a kid. Y’all were jumping all over your furniture growing up?

I was. We used to pretend the floor was lava and we couldn’t touch it or we would die.

Us too, except for the formal living room (which was never used because we rarely had company).
My question is, how did that lava get into so many houses?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People keep saying “get back to us when you have kids!” but weren’t we all kids at one time? I never did this to my parents’ furniture as a kid. Y’all were jumping all over your furniture growing up?

I was. We used to pretend the floor was lava and we couldn’t touch it or we would die.

We weren’t supposed to climb/jump on the furniture. So we moved it closer together so that we could step quietly from one to the next. It wasn’t climbing or jumping, and we were never told not to stand on the chairs or couch.

Hahaha!!!

My memory is actually that there was this one room at the front of the house that we were not allowed to be in at all, and the rest of the house was fair game. I remember being in that room when I showed my dad that I had learned to tie my ahoes, and for my first communion party, but not much else.

If anything, our parents were more relaxed in the 80’s than most of my friends are now. I remember doing paper mache in the basement, and finding scraps of wood and nailing them together, and doing multiple experiments trying to build my own worm farm, which I would bring in my room. I have friends now who don’t allow play dough or glitter in their homes because it’s too messy.