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Anonymous wrote:If you do go, how will he find out?

She won’t be permitted to leave the country without a letter from him permitting the children to leave.

This is totally incorrect.

Your posting privileges should be revoked since you relay bad information. She absolutely needs to have a letter giving permission. In fact, it is advised that even couples traveling internationally together with a child carry such a letter in case they get separated.

It may be advised since it's difficult to advise against it. But it is incorrect that it is required. I've traveled with my child multiple times and never was I asked for anything.

Legally they should ask for it. I am married. My kids and I have been questioned. It was funny given we were going to join Dad on a business trip. They ask mine all kinds of questions.

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Anonymous wrote:Who did you ask for approval???

The court.

Anonymous wrote:Who did you ask for approval???

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I asked for approval and after answering all (prying) questions satisfactorily I got my approval in 2 days. Apparently it is standard procedure in my state once a custody summons has been sent out. Thank you all for the great advice. This has put a damper on the holidays because I will have alot to figure out once I return. Hopefully, we can resolve everything amicably. Have a great holiday season everyone!

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Anonymous wrote:Have you tried asking him to consent in writing that your child may travel with you? Do you think he would agree if he didn't have a problem before? I would try that first and then consult a lawyer.

He sent OP a document saying she could not travel with the child.

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Anonymous wrote:I don't want to scare you but I know someone that took dc out of the country for several weeks without ex's permission and when she returned to the country, the police arrested her for kidnapping. They had joint custody and she took the child and only told him she had left after she was in the other country. She was in jail for at least a month and lost custody of the child afterwards. Not worth it.

Since there isn’t joint custody here, that should not scare OP.

It should absolutely scare her! She needs to consult an attorney ASAP and not leave this to the DCUM peanut gallery that is just talking out their asses. Too much at stake.

What should scare her is that her ex had her served with sketchy papers that don’t even specify the type of custody. She is in for a long run in which her ex and/or his incompetent attorney are going to try to bury her under sh!ttily-done paperwork and exhaust her energy and financial resources before a judge kicks it out.

But maybe he did specify and she simply isn't understanding the paperwork. Again, she needs to speak to an attorney first thing in the morning to get informed advice. Not listen to all of us give our two cents on what we are being told that does not necessarily equate to the facts of the situation. This is far too serious and the consequences are potentially severe and life altering. But hey, you continue to tell her to do what the hell she wants and everything will be fine.

Have you ever been sued for custody? The paperwork is very specific about the type of custody being requested. Even when people file pro se and are just filling in a template.

OK. You know the facts of this situation and OP should just do what you tell her and not seek the guidance of a family law attorney. Got it and no need to continue the back and forth.

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried asking him to consent in writing that your child may travel with you? Do you think he would agree if he didn't have a problem before? I would try that first and then consult a lawyer.

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Anonymous wrote:Just go and say you didn’t get the paperwork til after the trip. What’s he going to do?

He may not have to do anything. It is against the law to take a child out of the country without consent from the other parent. The court will have a record of the date that the summons was served and if she takes her child out of the country, and the ex-spouse says something at the custody hearing, the court has the power to sentence her to a fine or even jail time under federal kidnapping laws. It usually doesn't come to that, but if it is clear that the spouse either had no idea that this was occurring (e.g. you didn't ask permission) or explicitly did not grant consent, the judge often chooses some sentence depending on the situation. In most cases, when the child is returned, and there is no court date pending, nothing happens. But in this case, they already have a custody hearing, so there is a perfect venue for this complaint already scheduled. Very dangerous to do it under these circumstances. I recommend that you communicate with the ex-spouse and if he does not consent, then cancel and reschedule the trip for after the holidays.

But isn't that something that the custody arrangements usually spell out? It doesn't sound like OP and the father of her child were ever married; they don't have any formal custody arrangements or child support in place yet. Are you telling me that there is a blanket prohibition in the law against taking a child on foreign trips without the consent of the bio parent, regardless of the legal arrangement between the parents?

There is a lot of scrutiny of American citizen minor children traveling overseas with only one parent due to international parental kidnapping and also due to human trafficking.

I travel with my American citizen minor child every summer. We have different last names and look different. Not once have I been asked a question or subjected to scrutiny. His father and I are married and I carry a notarized permission just in case but I never had to show it.

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Anonymous wrote:If you do go, how will he find out?

She won’t be permitted to leave the country without a letter from him permitting the children to leave.

This is totally incorrect.

Your posting privileges should be revoked since you relay bad information. She absolutely needs to have a letter giving permission. In fact, it is advised that even couples traveling internationally together with a child carry such a letter in case they get separated.

It may be advised since it's difficult to advise against it. But it is incorrect that it is required. I've traveled with my child multiple times and never was I asked for anything.