Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the poster who said that if a person cheats on travel, they'd do it at home is pretty spot on.

I've been married for a long time. My spouse and I love each other very much, have an agreement, and have hall passes. But I've honestly never used one. I just don't wanna.

If you love each other so much why on earth would you have hall passes?? Doesn't make sense, nor is it safe.

You're not in our marriage. We are, and we like it this way.

Your DH used his hall pass though.

When you look forward to getting home as much as I do there is no reason to cheat.

I didn’t cheat while traveling extensively meaning I wasn’t hitting on women or looking for hookups. That said, I did have a couple of APs over the years whom I met WHILE traveling. When those were active I would arrange travel to meet them.

So yes, you did cheat. And I bet your spouse would think so, too. Sounds like you have the same kind of logic as Bill
Clinton.

I didn’t cheat while traveling extensively meaning I wasn’t hitting on women or looking for hookups. That said, I did have a couple of APs over the years whom I met WHILE traveling. When those were active I would arrange travel to meet them.

A friend of mine was Secret Service for a long time. He said that a good percentage of the agents he knew cheated, and that it wasn't unusual for some of them to have girlfriends in multiple cities where they traveled. Some of them requested more travel for this reason. (his buddies assumed I was his "DC wife". I was not; I don't sleep with married men, but I do accept free drinks from married friends.)

Anonymous wrote:DH states he’s a good boy

I mean a good man

DH states he’s a good boy

When I was single I had a male client who I often traveled with (I was an investment banker for his company) and I had a serious crush on him almost the entire time. FWIW I’m attractive, fit and can be fun. We had many long and fun dinners together and never once did he attempt to make anything happen. I was surprised he didn’t but now that I’m married I realize that some men really are good men and I certainly believe my husband is one of them.

LOL!!


A
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V

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the men who work away from home 4 nights a week? Not just travel, but work in a different city than their family? Can we get a straw poll on that scenario and cheating?

Sounds like a perfect scenario for a double life. I don't think many people can (or want to) pull that off -- but opportunists might.

I'm the PP consultant and I have seen this a fair amount.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently retired and over 35 years I must have taken 700 business trips. For the last 15 years I was a COO or CEO of large businesses and combined with the fact that I’m a decent looking, fit guy with a full head of hair having a ONS would have been very easy. But I never did nor was I ever really tempted to. I certainly had many after dinner conversations with attractive women but I had no interest in letting a conversation drift into affair territory. If we weren’t discussing business I’d find a way to talk about my family and how great they are. It helps that my wife and I have a very active sex life (including last night) so there was never a “I have a deprived need” excuse. If I had been deprived the odds are high I would have cheated so I’m certainly not an altar boy. Except for very early in my career I never saw a business colleague slip away with someone but at the same time I never really paid attention to what other people did after hours. I’m clueless as to how prevalent cheating is on business trips and it’s certainly not something that married guys discuss. Maybe I live in an unreal bubble but I’m happy to be there.

No one wants to hear this. We want dirty laundry! Air it!

Sorry, no dirty laundry to air unless you’d like detail of what we did two nights ago.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is common, because the men who travel for work tend to have means and an alpha personality, which got them to the point where they are professionally.

Really? Every professional man and woman, even those right out of college “have to” travel for work. It is not a status, privileage to travel for work. Most hate it, including myself.

+1 Anyone who thinks business travel is party time doesn’t travel for business. It sucks the alpha out of you when you do it a lot.

I think the increased opportunity lends itself for more cheating. Of course, not all men who travel for work cheat, but I think there is more opportunity. Even if the man or woman doesn't have the intent when he travels, if presented with the opportunity, and they think no one will know, and there's alcohol involved, that increases the chances.

Anonymous wrote:I actually hear more about women cheating on business trips.

It takes 2 to tango

1. The only person who can speak with 100% certainty about whether cheating occurs is you, about your actions. There may be a low probability in certain groups (strong moral compass + strong relationship), but even that isn’t a fool proof guarantee. Many wise people can make foolish choices in a moment of stupidity.

2. Most people that are cheating aren’t going to share it wth everyone. Bill Clinton, John Kerry, Anthony Werner, Ben Affleck, Brad Pitt, Brittney Spears, Kobe Bryant and those are stories in the public eye. There is a huge shame associated with cheating, even youth it is common, and people aren’t just willy nilly broadcasting affairs. Some care more about perception than the true wrongdoing.

3. I discount the opinion of people saying they know if their spouse cheats. It may be unlikely, but you don’t know with 100% certainty. Unless they’re paralyzed waist down. And even then, someone could sit on their face.

Eric Benet is still lamenting cheating in Halle Berry years later with sad love songs of regret. Meanwhile she has divorced, moved on, had a child, and continued the gorgeous life. People make stupid decisions even when they have a sweet deal.