Anonymous wrote:I am not critical nor do I care what other people choose to do. But it is interesting that though I know lots of women who didn’t take their husband’s last name, I do not know a single child who has their mother’s maiden name as their surname.

For everyone saying some version of “I kept my name bc it was my identity but my children were blank slates” why does it follow that you would then give your children your husband’s name? Just because they’re a blank slate, they get their dad’s name instead of their mom’s because...?

Like I said, I really don’t care. But it does seem a little strange.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I kept my maiden name because I was well established career-wise and my last name was part of my identity. Those reasons didn’t apply to my children.

+1, I have many publications in my name, so I wanted to keep it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a bizarre question. I was born and given a name I liked, and one I became known by. I saw no reason to change it. My kids were given a name shortly after birth that included my husband’s last name, which is more melodious than mine. If they like it, they can keep it, or they can change it. Why is this very personal thing of interest to anyone else?

Don't pretend it is a bizarre question.

Not pretending. I find it completely bizarre that anyone would care what someone else chose to do with their name or the names of their children (unless the parents in question name their kid something gossip-worthy, like Inspektor Pilot). Why do you care? Are you the name police?

+1

Everyone who is acting like this is such a complicated issue (omg! DIFFERENT NAMES!!?!) are just looking for drama.

NP, but nope. I think it's dumb to have multiple different names (the one who said they all have different names?!?) but you clearly don't care, which is fine, because I don't want you to care what I think. I'm not looking for drama at all, but you seriously can't conceive of the fact that some people are curious as to why people do things differently than they do? Like, why do some people want to live in tiny houses with six kids? What do they find to be the benefits? I would never consider it but I'm curious as to why they would. It doesn't mean I'm causing drama, I'm just wondering. You're the one causing drama by making it a big thing. All OP did was ask a question.

BUT you are NOT curious--you are straight up judgmental. You're not here to learn more or see a new perspective. No matter what people write, you'll think it's "dumb." You are dramatic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am fascinated there are so many men who are stupid and weak enough to permit their wives to keep their maiden names or make up some stupid name that's not their husband's last name. Just say, "take my last name or we don't get married," and she can make her choice, you're good either way.

I am fascinated that your masculinity could be so fragile.

Anonymous wrote:didn’t change my name bc I’m lazy and I didn’t want to. Didn’t care about passing it on to my kids bc it’s johnson and the world isn’t running out of us, whereas DHs last name is exceedingly rare even in his family’s country of origin. Has caused us exactly 0 problems ever bc we never encounter concern trolling morons like OP in real life

Anonymous wrote:
The protocol of naming infants is far more patriarchal than women changing their name as an adult. Defaulting to the man's last name for children is PARTICULARLY unfair if a couple with two different last names. and middle names don't count. No one knows or cares what people's middle names are.

On a side note, I think it's hysterical that a bunch of grown ass women are still holding on to their daddy's name like it was some kind of emblem of feminist power. Its so weird.

Prince was way more successful than ALL Y'ALL and he went by a SYMBOL for awhile. Get over yourself. Your career as a mid-level executive, or struggling academic, or non-profit/government G-whatever is not going to merit a chapter in a history book anytime soon, you don't have to be so self-important about your stupid name. Your identity is far deeper and more complex than your place in the alphabet. Please, stop making this a "thing" that is supposed to matter.

Anonymous wrote:I kept my maiden name because I was well established career-wise and my last name was part of my identity. Those reasons didn’t apply to my children.

Anonymous wrote:I am fascinated there are so many men who are stupid and weak enough to permit their wives to keep their maiden names or make up some stupid name that's not their husband's last name. Just say, "take my last name or we don't get married," and she can make her choice, you're good either way.

Anonymous wrote:I am fascinated there are so many men who are stupid and weak enough to permit their wives to keep their maiden names or make up some stupid name that's not their husband's last name. Just say, "take my last name or we don't get married," and she can make her choice, you're good either way.

Anonymous wrote:Help me understand why most women who choose not to change their names when they get married still choose to give their children their husband's last name? It just seems like if you choose to give up an old tradition of taking your husband's last name, why would you choose your husband's last name for your children? I'm not criticizing. Really. I'm just trying to understand...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get this either. It doesn’t apply to me bc I changed my name to my husband’s and my kids have his surname too simply because I really didn’t like my maiden name and don’t really like my father or his family so didn’t want to be associated w the name anymore. But I don’t understand why even women who don’t want to take their husbands name often still default to giving the kids their husbands name.

It's actually a pretty simple concept! Some women like their names. That doesn't mean they don't like their husband's name! It's possible to simultaneously like your name and also like giving your child a different last name.

Why do you assume it was a default decision? My husband was open to giving the kids my name, but we made the decision for practical purposes because his is easier to spell.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a bizarre question. I was born and given a name I liked, and one I became known by. I saw no reason to change it. My kids were given a name shortly after birth that included my husband’s last name, which is more melodious than mine. If they like it, they can keep it, or they can change it. Why is this very personal thing of interest to anyone else?

Don't pretend it is a bizarre question.

Not pretending. I find it completely bizarre that anyone would care what someone else chose to do with their name or the names of their children (unless the parents in question name their kid something gossip-worthy, like Inspektor Pilot). Why do you care? Are you the name police?

+1

Everyone who is acting like this is such a complicated issue (omg! DIFFERENT NAMES!!?!) are just looking for drama.

NP, but nope. I think it's dumb to have multiple different names (the one who said they all have different names?!?) but you clearly don't care, which is fine, because I don't want you to care what I think. I'm not looking for drama at all, but you seriously can't conceive of the fact that some people are curious as to why people do things differently than they do? Like, why do some people want to live in tiny houses with six kids? What do they find to be the benefits? I would never consider it but I'm curious as to why they would. It doesn't mean I'm causing drama, I'm just wondering. You're the one causing drama by making it a big thing. All OP did was ask a question.

Anonymous wrote:I am fascinated there are so many men who are stupid and weak enough to permit their wives to keep their maiden names or make up some stupid name that's not their husband's last name. Just say, "take my last name or we don't get married," and she can make her choice, you're good either way.