If anything she’s going to withdraw and become depressed because she will feel forced to cut it off with this guy. If she’s still here it’s because he made it clear he won’t leave his wife.

Anonymous wrote:How do you know it is over? She is a liar, you know that, so cannot take her word for it. Do you have all her passwords? Are her electronics open to you? Did she send a no contact letter or text while you watched? Is his number blocked on her phone, Facebook, etc.? You cannot trust her right now, and maybe never. She needs to take these steps if you want to make this marriage work. Has she expressed remorse, or just regret at being caught?

Is it worth living that way? I would think he's only staying because of his poor kids. Many women stay though they despise their dh. I'd put life insurance on her then keep my fingers crossed. She's evil taking advantage of a weak person, betting she has a history he is unaware of.

How do you know it is over? She is a liar, you know that, so cannot take her word for it. Do you have all her passwords? Are her electronics open to you? Did she send a no contact letter or text while you watched? Is his number blocked on her phone, Facebook, etc.? You cannot trust her right now, and maybe never. She needs to take these steps if you want to make this marriage work. Has she expressed remorse, or just regret at being caught?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So she only stayed with you because the other guy was married, not because she wants it to work. Some guy gets to bang your wife and all of the good parts of her, you get no sex and all of the hassle. He's a lucky guy, all fun and no headache all on your sacrifices. [True]

Do you wonder if she did stuff with him that she won't do with you? I hear that's common.Did you ask? [Who cares. Doesn't matter. If they only did boring missionary vanilla PIV, she's still a cheater and you should still get divorced.]

It matters, you know she did stuff with the other guy that she would never do with her husband, probably still won't with him. The AP gets all of the freaky stuff.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So how did OP find out?

He said phone records and find my phone

I don’t understand why OP thinks his marriage is salvageable. It’s not like she had a come to Jesus moment. She simply got busted.

exactly. the affair has been going for several years, it wasn't just a ONS.

Anonymous wrote:Op, sometimes you need to stand your ground - firm and hard!

I see what you did there

Op, sometimes you need to stand your ground - firm and hard!

Anonymous wrote:I recently confirmed my wife had an affair with a married coworker that lasted several years. I confronted her with the information and she acknowledged the affair. I am struggling with whether or not I should connect with the other affair partner or even contact his spouse. This just sucks!

Several years! What a horrible woman, file divorce and be done with her. She left a long time ago, only stayed for the pay and/or kids.

Forget counseling, it won't bring back the trust ever and seriously several years is a deal breaker. Yes tell the other spouse as well!!! Who knows who else these cheaters have been with and possible diseases.

Have you gotten tested yet?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So how did OP find out?

He said phone records and find my phone

I don’t understand why OP thinks his marriage is salvageable. It’s not like she had a come to Jesus moment. She simply got busted.

I wouldn't tell because people be crazy BUT if I were the other spouse, I would want to know

The other spouse may, in fact, know. The other pair of spouses may be in an open marriage. The other spouse may shoot the messenger. There’s nothing to be gained here by spreading the news. Deal with your problem; don’t go cowboying around imagining that you’re solving someone else’s problem.

Anonymous wrote:So how did OP find out?

He said phone records and find my phone

OP, if I were you, I wouldn’t do anything until that counseling appointment. Telling the other spouse is like throwing gasoline on your existing dumpster fire. You may choose eventually to tell, but right now your world has been turned upside down and you are NOT thinking rationally. You’re just not.

Give yourself time between now and your appointment to think on all of this. Don’t put any demands on yourself. Just take care of yourself and try to get through each day. Whether the affair is truly over or is continuing at some level, nothing major is going to change between today and your appointment so just try to breathe.

You’re going to feel a lot different in a week and in a month and in a year. Your emotions will evolve. I truly recommend sitting on this decision for a week. See how you feel next week.

Men almost never stay after a wife's affair. It is a direct indictment on their masculinity and sexual prowess. Personally, if someone was banging my wife, I would wait until the OM is alone and punch him in the mouth because deep down he lioathes and disrespects me.

So how did OP find out?