We had nothing saved. We were already spending $40k for private HS, so paying for college (OOS) was pretty much more of the same budget. Sure it was hard, but it was doable and we survived. It’s hard to save and justify the sacrifice, but if you are spending currently on what you value, it’s easy to accept an increase in expenses. Many times on this forum, I have seen posters who have a pile of cash to spend on their kid and balk when it’s time to let go of both the kid and the money.

I am the poster who wrote about needing discretionary income to save for the future. And, despite your obvious stereotypes about people in this area...I live in a 4th floor walk up apartment (not a big house in Bethesda). I drive a 7 year old Honda. I have my original (20 year old) kitchen and have had one manicure in 25 years. Sorry to mess with your brain.

OP I don’t think many people in this income stream have nothing saved. You are hearing mostly from people who have managed to save enough to spend $40-50k a year and know they will not qualify for any need based aid at their income level. These are the people who are frustrated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I”m seeing a lot of threads and responses within threads. Lots of people seeking information about private schools with tons of merit aid, “full ride” schools, people frustrated about the unfair advantage of ED because you want know the full amount of merit aid that might be available (and kudos to the patient people on that thread that keep trying to explain how the Net Price Calculator works).

The conclusion I’m getting from this is... there’s a whole bunch of UMC people here who didn’t save for kids’ college.
What the @#$%!

To be 100% clear, I’m not talking about lower income families, though these posters starting the posts above almost seem to resent all the aid, Pell grants, etc. these folks will be getting.

When my kids were 5 (as soon as we didn’t have to pay for preschool anymore, just public school before and aftercare) we started investing in 529s. We’ve been putting away money every month since then.
Back then, after doing my research, my assumptions were
1. We will not qualify for financial aid (unless we are going to some really expensive private, but then we are still paying $$$)
2. While my kids are smart, I should not count on merit aid of any kind

As we get close to college age, we will have enough for them to attend an in-state school, and we are on track to take out very little—if any—in loans. Kids know they are welcome to apply to private schools, and if after all is said and done, it’s a comparable price tag, we can do that, but neither we nor our kids are going to rack up big undergraduate debt.

Yes, college costs are out of control, and there’s lots of frustrating aspects to the system, but this stuff didn’t crop up yesterday. Why didn’t you plan? Why didn’t you save?

I sense some anger in OP's statement. She considers herself UMC (upper middle class?), but despite her best efforts, was unable to provide for her children to the degree she might have wanted to. Instead, her children are left with one or two options (that's what "in-state school" translates to). If she lives in VA, her children may be offered money to not come. She projects her anger onto other people who point out that despite what they considered higher incomes they're unable to provide for their children the way they wanted to. She imputes that others who point this out harbor social envy at those who have even less and receive financial aid (which often is loans).

With attitudes like these, it's difficult to see how we as a society can address the problem of spiraling college costs and how to distribute these costs across socioeconomic strata in a rational manner.

Hee! I’m OP and it’s funny you think I’m angry. I’m more mystified and all of the other posters in this forum that seem to be scrambling for magical buckets of merit aid or free ride schools. I think you are conflating two different things. The larger societal challenge of college costs vs. individual families doing what they can.
Like many other posters on this thread, I’m totally happy with my kid going to in-state schools. I’m glad I could save enough to make work. While I’m UMC my rest-of-the-country standards, I’m not pulling in the kind of numbers being thrown around DCUM sometimes. Again, I’m not angry about that. It’s just a fact.
You say
“She projects her anger onto other people who point out that despite what they considered higher incomes they're unable to provide for their children the way they wanted.”
Again, not angry, just mystified. I sat down when my kids were small, projected out college costs (as many other PPs have pointed out, the trend of escalating costs didn’t just happen last year) and I projected my income and expenses. And then I figured out a plan for saving for college. Many other decisions after that: home purchase, vacations, other expenses, were done with the college savings part of the budget baked in and non-negotiable.

For those that experience truly unexpected, catastrophic setbacks, I’m not talking about you. (Though again I point out the PP who described a period of job loss/insecurity that nevertheless worked way back to college savings.)

Do I think we should find a way to reign in college costs? Absolutely. I think we as a society should absolutely be looking at ways to increase access and reduce debt to post-secondary education (I include non-college options in that as well, as there are a number of professions where kids could make good $ and are more inclined to those pursuits, but it needs to be high quality skilled technical industrial trades training).
I will vote for candidates who have good ideas on how to achieve this, and support any efforts to make this happen.

HOWEVER, that is not the case right now. It wasn’t the case 12+ years ago when I started college savings, and it’s not looking like it’s going to be fixed by the time my kid hits college. That means It. Is. On. Me. As the parent. To do what I can to save.

Not to have my kid hit junior year of high school and suddenly be shocked. SHOCKED. At the cost of college, small amount of merit aid, etc.

While I want the large societal fix, I have to do what I can for my immediate family right now base on the current realities. I just don’t understand why there are so many people on DCUM, who were in comparable or possibly better financial position than me, who did not do likewise. Based on the number of responses in this thread, it would seem I am not alone in this sentiment.

Anonymous wrote:Notice how this post was not answered, nor are any of the other people complaining about "the lucky poors who get financial aid".

I have $300k saved across 529 and other nonretirement assets. Based on the 5% formula, this would increase my EFC by $15k per year, so I would be paying $60k more than if I hadn't saved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Just because you disagree doesn't mean it's incoherent.

I am not opposed to people getting aid, necessarily. But, why am I supposed to save money and forego other things to do so and foot a full pay tuition for the same education other peoples' kids are getting at reduced costs? We do not live a lavish life. We are civil servants and have one modest home. 1 car 11 years old; the other bought used. No vacation home or other big luxuries. We have to make choices as to house repairs and stagger them to afford them. We are not rich. We have no family support, trust funds, etc. None of our parents went to college and we have worked our asses off. Yet, I have to foot a tuition bill like I am well off?

We have lived responsibly, within our means. And we will be punished for that. Our DC's college is going to cost tens of thousands of dollars a year b/c we won't get one cent. Yes, I feel College is too expensive. But, I also feel that the payment options punish those who save for it. We gave up many things to save that money, not just "luxuries."

I don't really care what you think of my complaints. So you can take your snark somwehere else.

How much do you have saved, and how much less would you be paying if you did not have that savings?

Notice how this post was not answered, nor are any of the other people complaining about "the lucky poors who get financial aid".

Anonymous wrote:I”m seeing a lot of threads and responses within threads. Lots of people seeking information about private schools with tons of merit aid, “full ride” schools, people frustrated about the unfair advantage of ED because you want know the full amount of merit aid that might be available (and kudos to the patient people on that thread that keep trying to explain how the Net Price Calculator works).

The conclusion I’m getting from this is... there’s a whole bunch of UMC people here who didn’t save for kids’ college.
What the @#$%!

To be 100% clear, I’m not talking about lower income families, though these posters starting the posts above almost seem to resent all the aid, Pell grants, etc. these folks will be getting.

When my kids were 5 (as soon as we didn’t have to pay for preschool anymore, just public school before and aftercare) we started investing in 529s. We’ve been putting away money every month since then.
Back then, after doing my research, my assumptions were
1. We will not qualify for financial aid (unless we are going to some really expensive private, but then we are still paying $$$)
2. While my kids are smart, I should not count on merit aid of any kind

As we get close to college age, we will have enough for them to attend an in-state school, and we are on track to take out very little—if any—in loans. Kids know they are welcome to apply to private schools, and if after all is said and done, it’s a comparable price tag, we can do that, but neither we nor our kids are going to rack up big undergraduate debt.

Yes, college costs are out of control, and there’s lots of frustrating aspects to the system, but this stuff didn’t crop up yesterday. Why didn’t you plan? Why didn’t you save?

I sense some anger in OP's statement. She considers herself UMC (upper middle class?), but despite her best efforts, was unable to provide for her children to the degree she might have wanted to. Instead, her children are left with one or two options (that's what "in-state school" translates to). If she lives in VA, her children may be offered money to not come. She projects her anger onto other people who point out that despite what they considered higher incomes they're unable to provide for their children the way they wanted to. She imputes that others who point this out harbor social envy at those who have even less and receive financial aid (which often is loans).

With attitudes like these, it's difficult to see how we as a society can address the problem of spiraling college costs and how to distribute these costs across socioeconomic strata in a rational manner.

I thought of this thread when on the real estate section.

Someone wanted to know how much income do they need for a million dollar mortgage in order to have a nice house in Bethesda. 4-5 bedrooms.

Reasonable question. Some folks responded that $300k should be sufficient.

Well, that will certainly interfere with college savings, as it should.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren't most people still working when their kids are in college? I'm saving for both my kids, but I'm also assuming that large amounts of my paycheck during their college years will be going towards paying their college expenses. Why are people thinking they need to have saved the total amount by the time their kids start college?

+1. By the time my kids go to college, we're projecting that'll we have saved about half about their college expenses. Which makes it easier to pay the rest from our salaries. If college is $74k a year, half of that is $37k, which is basically what we paid during the daycare years with no savings at all, and when we both earned so much less than we do now.

I opted to be a SAHM. I only recently began working. Not sure how we will make it since we are by definition a donut hole family. Seems unfair that our current income is counted against us. Considering staying home, again, until kids are out of college. May make more sense, tbh. Then we can get FA.

Holy crap. Read this again, PP.

You are complaining that it's unfair that your current income is counted against you, when you removed yourself from the workforce for years. Moreover, you're considering doing it again, so you can get aid?

You aren't ashamed of yourself, typing this out?

Since you went without your income for so long, and apparently comfortable doing so again, you should be able to direct that income entirely to college. That'll help.

Again, giving low income kids a hand - great. Giving "aid" to families who decided to not do all they can to pay for college themselves? No thanks.

+100 PP the idea that you think your kids should get the same aid as kids that are going to college from impoverished homes because you didn't want to work for most of their childhood is deeply gross.

When I was a SAHM, we lived within our means. We didn’t take fancy vacas and bought our cars in cash. I made the choice to SAHM, and don’t understand why my kids our penalized now that I work. Mind you I work two part time jobs because it’s not as easy as one thinks to get a FT job after choosing to SAH. But you think I should feel shame?! Why? I raised my kids and took a financial hit to do so. I will do so again so that my kids can get FA. Our country is messed up when SAHMs are penalized for working a few years before college.

It’s too late now, but if you bought new or almost new, you probably would have been better off not paying for the cars in cash, but instead financing them and investing money for college instead. Your children are not being penalized because you are working now, they are being penalized because you didn’t save anything for 18 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are saving for college you have discretionary income.

Most people would LOVE to save for their child's education, but for them, that is not an option. They are busy paying for the day to day, which is very expensive in this area. Especially, if you are trying to give your kids the things to come easily to most of their peers (braces, SAT Prep, camp). If you are a wealthy professional, or head up a two earner family, please don't act superior to others who love their children as much as you do (and may well work harder) but could not afford to put aside colleges savings over the past few decades.

No, they would LIKE to save for their child’s education, but the LOVE a bigger house in a wealthier county, or a new kitchen, or fancy cars, or IG worthy vacations, or shopping more. People fon’t like making choices and don’t like delayed gratification. Also the reason for our national debt. All of you who think you can’t afford it now while making s good income, what happens when taxes are raised or Social Security also gets cut in the future?

NP Because you know everything about everyone’s options, choices and how they spend their money.

Anonymous wrote:If you are saving for college you have discretionary income.

Most people would LOVE to save for their child's education, but for them, that is not an option. They are busy paying for the day to day, which is very expensive in this area. Especially, if you are trying to give your kids the things to come easily to most of their peers (braces, SAT Prep, camp). If you are a wealthy professional, or head up a two earner family, please don't act superior to others who love their children as much as you do (and may well work harder) but could not afford to put aside colleges savings over the past few decades.

No, they would LIKE to save for their child’s education, but the LOVE a bigger house in a wealthier county, or a new kitchen, or fancy cars, or IG worthy vacations, or shopping more. People fon’t like making choices and don’t like delayed gratification. Also the reason for our national debt. All of you who think you can’t afford it now while making s good income, what happens when taxes are raised or Social Security also gets cut in the future?

If you are saving for college you have discretionary income.

Most people would LOVE to save for their child's education, but for them, that is not an option. They are busy paying for the day to day, which is very expensive in this area. Especially, if you are trying to give your kids the things to come easily to most of their peers (braces, SAT Prep, camp). If you are a wealthy professional, or head up a two earner family, please don't act superior to others who love their children as much as you do (and may well work harder) but could not afford to put aside colleges savings over the past few decades.

Anonymous wrote:

briandfd wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make about $225k. Combined with what we're willing to take out of cash flow, we saved enough for our kids to go to a state school or a private school with merit aid (so max of about $50K/year). Yeah we could've gone 20 years without vacationing or not updated our 80s kitchen or driven 2002 Honda Accords, and then we could've afforded to send our kid to any private school they wanted, but...meh. We (collective "we") put waaaay too much emphasis on "the dream school" and "THE IVIES!!!!!11!!!" as if they're somehow going to drastically alter the trajectory of your kid's life or provide some sort of incomparable experience that could never possibly offered elsewhere and I just SMH. Especially when we know that outcomes-wise, that extra ~100K is very unlikely to ever "pay off." I have no desire to deprive ourselves for 20+ years.

Nice excuses, Mom, but schools do matter for our kids and their futures. But enjoy your kitchen!

Oh trust me, I do!

this

This too. Unless your kid is a genius or well.connected, and you are already "rich," going to an Ivy or going to private school won't be a game changer. The only exception I've seen is with poor.students on scholarships and kids with different needs that aren't met in publics.

My parents regretted spending all that money to send me to private school and eventually so did I (didn't have much choice, I was 6.)

I turned out fine, but I would have anyway and we would have had a much happier life going on vacations and not having to share one bathroom for 5 people. You enjoy that kitchen pp!

Stop it. You guys are being way too rational. Not allowed here.

Anonymous wrote:

briandfd wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make about $225k. Combined with what we're willing to take out of cash flow, we saved enough for our kids to go to a state school or a private school with merit aid (so max of about $50K/year). Yeah we could've gone 20 years without vacationing or not updated our 80s kitchen or driven 2002 Honda Accords, and then we could've afforded to send our kid to any private school they wanted, but...meh. We (collective "we") put waaaay too much emphasis on "the dream school" and "THE IVIES!!!!!11!!!" as if they're somehow going to drastically alter the trajectory of your kid's life or provide some sort of incomparable experience that could never possibly offered elsewhere and I just SMH. Especially when we know that outcomes-wise, that extra ~100K is very unlikely to ever "pay off." I have no desire to deprive ourselves for 20+ years.

Nice excuses, Mom, but schools do matter for our kids and their futures. But enjoy your kitchen!

Oh trust me, I do!

this

This too. Unless your kid is a genius or well.connected, and you are already "rich," going to an Ivy or going to private school won't be a game changer. The only exception I've seen is with poor.students on scholarships and kids with different needs that aren't met in publics.

My parents regretted spending all that money to send me to private school and eventually so did I (didn't have much choice, I was 6.)

I turned out fine, but I would have anyway and we would have had a much happier life going on vacations and not having to share one bathroom for 5 people. You enjoy that kitchen pp!

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you OP - but college costs $60-70k at a private school now, it was $40k when I graduated in 2007, I can't possibly save fast enough to keep up with the rate of increase right now (as I stare down something like $3700/month in day care costs next year on $7000/month net income) so I can understand people not having saved ENOUGH.

Honestly, this is when you have to do the math on how much you earn (net) per hour and think about having a parent stay home.

We've done it. The two will overlap in day care for 6-8 months, depending on how much parental leave we can wrangle. We are both specialized and it us each longer than that to find new jobs in our fields in our last job searches. Sometimes you have to think long term.

Also, one five figure income would not make it that much easier to save for college....