Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I believe you all but I just don’t get why parents are doing this! It seems so unnecessary to me!

Mine got one when she started taking public transportation by herself, which was 6th grade. I am very on top of parental controls and have a lot of websites and functions blocked.

Agree OP. I don't see how public transportation requires a need for a phone either. Or what "emergencies" parents think their kid is going to be in that they need a cell phone. There is the school office if they need to call a parent. If they aren't at school and a true emergency comes up- they can use the phone of any business if they ask. I don't recall ever using a pay phone as a teen. If I was supposed to meet my mom somewhere, I made sure i was on time. If she was late, I say there and waited until she came. It is good for kids to problem solve themselves instead of texting mom every little time something comes up. The reality is, kids used to have a whole lot more freedom and be way more "free range" than kids are now...all without cell phones.

I used to think this too. Even went through the same logic. When I was a kid I waited for my mom and it was no big deal blah blah blah.

It’s a different world now. If your kid is at practice and you’re late, the coach or an adult will feel the need to sit there and wait with your kid or inquire what’s going on. This has happened to me. The expectations both for the ability to instantly communicate and for what is acceptable in terms of supervision are just different now. Different norms.

Ok, so the coach can call you then

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I believe you all but I just don’t get why parents are doing this! It seems so unnecessary to me!

Mine got one when she started taking public transportation by herself, which was 6th grade. I am very on top of parental controls and have a lot of websites and functions blocked.

Agree OP. I don't see how public transportation requires a need for a phone either. Or what "emergencies" parents think their kid is going to be in that they need a cell phone. There is the school office if they need to call a parent. If they aren't at school and a true emergency comes up- they can use the phone of any business if they ask. I don't recall ever using a pay phone as a teen. If I was supposed to meet my mom somewhere, I made sure i was on time. If she was late, I say there and waited until she came. It is good for kids to problem solve themselves instead of texting mom every little time something comes up. The reality is, kids used to have a whole lot more freedom and be way more "free range" than kids are now...all without cell phones.

I used to think this too. Even went through the same logic. When I was a kid I waited for my mom and it was no big deal blah blah blah.

It’s a different world now. If your kid is at practice and you’re late, the coach or an adult will feel the need to sit there and wait with your kid or inquire what’s going on. This has happened to me. The expectations both for the ability to instantly communicate and for what is acceptable in terms of supervision are just different now. Different norms.

It depends when middle school starts. In my district it’s 6th grade. The vast majority of them get them for middle school. There are practical reasons for this. They get out of school pretty early and almost all where I live are walkers. So they have a good amount of independence after school. It’s a blessing and a curse. The phone allows them to spontaneously meet up with friends, communicate plans with friends when out, for you to see where they are, face time with friends when home, etc. The phones genuinely facilitate a lot more in person interaction, for our kid at least. Our kid has a phone for these reasons but it’s pretty locked down other than the texting and face time. We use screen time to control it. The watch is an option and we tired it but found the battery was wearing out quickly. It would not make it through school day and after school all the time.

It’s really a double edged sword. It will 💯 impact their ability to socialize if they don’t have it. This is the reality of how these kids interact and socialize. If your kid doesn’t have the phone to text and face time they will not be part of the social mix. But there are a lot of downsides certainly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I believe you all but I just don’t get why parents are doing this! It seems so unnecessary to me!

Mine got one when she started taking public transportation by herself, which was 6th grade. I am very on top of parental controls and have a lot of websites and functions blocked.

Agree OP. I don't see how public transportation requires a need for a phone either. Or what "emergencies" parents think their kid is going to be in that they need a cell phone. There is the school office if they need to call a parent. If they aren't at school and a true emergency comes up- they can use the phone of any business if they ask. I don't recall ever using a pay phone as a teen. If I was supposed to meet my mom somewhere, I made sure i was on time. If she was late, I say there and waited until she came. It is good for kids to problem solve themselves instead of texting mom every little time something comes up. The reality is, kids used to have a whole lot more freedom and be way more "free range" than kids are now...all without cell phones.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid will not. He'll get it when he is a freshman in high school.

At DS’s school they create class lists on their phone and they text quite a bit about when class work is due, coordinate for projects etc. if you don’t allow it he will definitely need to figure out another way to coordinate with classmates, especially on group projects.

Is this middle school? Do you live in a very privileged area? That seems a little exclusive to me. Our school has quite a few low income families and families who hold back on phones out of principle.

My kids school has a significant % of low-income students. They still have phones. It's common for low-income families to have phones but no computers as it's a cheaper way to get internet access.

Ours doesn't create class lists as PP mentioned but definitely any group project is coordinated via text and DD"s band teacher sends out a lot of reminders via text. Also, DS had a volunteer job every MS at a camp and all communications with the staff were via a texting app.

As PPs have noted, having a phone does not have to = having social media. When we gave our kids smartphones (inexpensive Android phones) in 6th they also had a parental control app and were really locked down to just call/text + a few apps we considered useful. We let DS use Snapchat in 8th, he had no interest in Instagram. DD, now in 8th, has opted on her own to not use social media, she just connects with friends via text.

Okay, but what's "a significant % of low-income students?" My kid's school has a 50%+ FARMS rate. I understand about lower income families and devices, but I also understand when families are low-income enough (or have different enough values vis a vis culture) that they are not quick to jump on things like this. If you say your kid's school has a FARMS rate of anywhere close to 50%, I'll take you at your word, as a data point, at least, but...

My 6th grader is at a high FARMs school (80%). Most kids have phones (and have them out in class allllll the time). The only ones that don't are the non-low income kids whose parents intentionally aren't getting them one.

80-85% in 6th. Almost 95% by 7th.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I believe you all but I just don’t get why parents are doing this! It seems so unnecessary to me!

In FCPS, elementary school goes through 6th grade, so while some kids do have phones it isn't the same amount as a 6th grader in a true middle school. My DCs get a phone when they go to middle school because the coordination with after school activities is so much easier if they have their own phone.

Not mine. I’m waiting until 8th grade.