Anonymous wrote:As a mom to a 12 y.o. boy, what happened seems completely predictable. One 11 can control himself and make good judgments. A bunch of 11 year olds screwing around with gaming on a weekend night? They are going to get silly and make poor judgments. If you're a parent who can't accept that accidents will happen, then you should have either not allowed the get together or you should have kept a much better eye on what was happening.

Anonymous wrote:I am always amazed at how DCUM can find ways to blame and turn on the Ops.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like op’s son was chasing the boys into the room.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like op’s son was chasing the boys into the room.

Anonymous wrote:Please, it's not OP's fault that these kids didn't abide by the rules. She shouldn't have to lock the door. Our house is old and doesn't even have locking doors, and most interior doors only lock from the inside. This is craziness.

So sorry about the glass birds, OP. I don't think you can do anything to get them to pay you back, but they should at least apologize. It is NOT your fault for not locking the door. You told them. They are 11, not 3. They know better. You should bar them from your house unless they want to apologize and at least work part of it off or pay part of it back.

So sorry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When other people’s children are in your home you are responsible for them. The 11yos were poorly behaved but this accident is still on you, op.

What if one of those pieces of glass lodged in one of those boys’ arm or leg? My dad knew a kid who died pushing his arm through a plate glass window. If one of those boys were seriously hurt you saying “I told them not to go in that room” would not relieve you of liability.

You should not allow the boys over again if they are uncontrollable.

Also, I remember being 11 and having no impulse control and breaking other people’s property. I was devastated but I’m not sure I looked it or said the right things. I just wanted to get away from the situation.

And finally, once my 7yo had a sleepover at her cousin’s house. The next day was New Year’s Eve and we get a call from SIL that my dd had taken the 10yo’s needles from her sewing kit and put holes in the wall.

1. I wasn’t happy my 7yo had been given access to needles.
2. It wasn’t clear to me how much my dd was to blame and how much of SIL’s story was coming from her 3 kids not wanting to get into trouble.
3. Why? Just why call us about this on New Year’s Eve? It seemed so petty.

I told SIL sorry and that I was upset dd was playing with needles in the first place, and it may have come off as bitchy. But after I hung up we did punish dd for destroying property. But SIL doesn’t know that. So she probably thought I was a terrible parent.

That's not really typical, sorry

11 year old absolutely make impulsive mistakes, and break things, but the vast majority of 11 year olds are able to understand and respect a closed but unlocked door. It's a pretty clear boundary.

In addition, by age 11, you can absolutely hold an 11 year old responsible for developmentally appropriate behavior. That's how they learn. For example, it is developmentally appropriate for an 11 year old to move carelessly when clearing the table and drop something. It's also developmentally appropriate for them to be asked to get a dust pan, and clean up their mess. It's developmentally appropriate for an 11 year old to lose their jacket. It's also developmentally appropriate for them to earn money to buy a new one at the thrift store. Part of becoming an adult is learning that you fix your mistakes, even if they're honest mistakes.

Finally, I am mystified by the idea that 7 year olds need to be protected from sewing needles.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when you have glass shelves, it’s just kind of risky, anyone could trip and fall and things would shatter and hurt people. Just doesn’t seem sensible. I feel bad for those boys for being blamed for an innocent childhood mistake. I bet they wish they’d never set foot in your house. I agree that your concern is mostly for your objects, not with the safety of the children or whether they might be feeling traumatized p. I’m sure that was very loud!

New poster here, not OP.

These kids are ELEVEN, not four or five. Eleven is middle school aged in many places. Old enough to know better and far too old for their precious little selves to be "traumatized" by the "loud" sound. "Innocent childhood mistake"? Try thoughtless tween disobedience. PP, do you have kids and if so-- how old? You sound like a parent of young kids, not a parent of kids this age. And OP already said she tried to check if they were hurt so yes, she did have a thought for the safety of these poor, traumatized innocents.

As for objects, when a kid destroys something irreplaceable of yours because the child was behaving like a brainless entitled little jerk, I hope you'll be as worried about that child's trauma as you are about these kids'.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When other people’s children are in your home you are responsible for them. The 11yos were poorly behaved but this accident is still on you, op.

What if one of those pieces of glass lodged in one of those boys’ arm or leg? My dad knew a kid who died pushing his arm through a plate glass window. If one of those boys were seriously hurt you saying “I told them not to go in that room” would not relieve you of liability.

You should not allow the boys over again if they are uncontrollable.

Also, I remember being 11 and having no impulse control and breaking other people’s property. I was devastated but I’m not sure I looked it or said the right things. I just wanted to get away from the situation.

And finally, once my 7yo had a sleepover at her cousin’s house. The next day was New Year’s Eve and we get a call from SIL that my dd had taken the 10yo’s needles from her sewing kit and put holes in the wall.

1. I wasn’t happy my 7yo had been given access to needles.
2. It wasn’t clear to me how much my dd was to blame and how much of SIL’s story was coming from her 3 kids not wanting to get into trouble.
3. Why? Just why call us about this on New Year’s Eve? It seemed so petty.

I told SIL sorry and that I was upset dd was playing with needles in the first place, and it may have come off as bitchy. But after I hung up we did punish dd for destroying property. But SIL doesn’t know that. So she probably thought I was a terrible parent.

That's not really typical, sorry