Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just weighing in as a stepparent whose stepkid call(s)(ed) her mom.... The CHILD made that decision, not me. And in fact, made that decision against my expressed wishes and those of her dad. We explained over and over about how she and I could have a special loving relationship that was of parent and child but why the word mom wasn't appropriate. Why it might hurt her bio mom. Why it might cause unnecessary confusion with others. Tried to come up with other cute mom-ish names. Everything we could do to try to change her mind or get around the issue. She wasn't having it. I'd been in her life since she was 7. After 2 years of saying no repeatedly, Dad and I went to a family therapist and were mortified to hear that professional advice was that I was HARMING this child by forbidding her to call me mom. That my role should be to help raise and love this kid and if she thinks of me as mom to allow that. That I was hurting her by rejecting her language and her choice about what role to assign me in her life! So at 9, we finally started allowing her call me mom but I made it clear to her that she was allowed to call me anything (except something rude lol) and that if and when she ever felt like changing it she could and that it would never bother me or hurt my feelings or change my feelings about her in any way. That I love her and always will and my name is whatever she wants it to be.

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I don’t believe a word of this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have any of you saying mom and dad should be reserved for the bio parents ever been the child of divorce and had stepparents?

Doesn’t sound like it. As long as it was the kid’s decision then I don’t see the issue.

This! As a child of divorced parents and nanny to others, so much this!

I have no dog in this fight because I’m not divorced. But could you give me an example as to why a child might want to call a step parent Mom or Dad? And I know my question sounds judgmental. It isn’t meant to be. I am just curious.

They feel the same way about the step-parent that they do for their biological parents. A young child doesn’t separate feelings based on who gave birth to them or adopted them.