She’ll just wait until her son or DIL can take her shopping and pay for it all. Meanwhile, hope the kids aren’t hungry. No-cost houseguesting is great!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rent a car if you don't have one, drive to the store and cook. Problem solved.

She already said she doesn't like to drive around here.
Reading comprehension. Problem solved.

But she's the one who wants food. You gotta do what you gotta do to get what you want. It's called life.

I hate houseguests. Long weekends are best. One week max.
Take a joint vacation if you want quality time with each other. That way everyone is off their demanding schedules, not just the retired grandparents.

Anonymous wrote:I’m concerned for my son and his family, they seem very stretched time-wise.

We flew in a couple weeks ago and landed late on a weekday at 4pm We had a small dinner at their house that their nanny made, but everyone was hungry afterwards, including their kids! Their kids, 4 and 6, ate some additional frozen food cooked up. They have strict rules against snacking before dinner or not eating all your dinner foods. We love to snack while on vacation!

Then in the mornings they scuttle off to work and one kid goes to preschool and the other to elementary. They were fed and had lunchboxes but we weren’t told nor given much for breakfast or lunch at their house. In fact my son told us to have the nanny take us grocery shopping when she comes!

The nanny comes in the afternoon to do pickups and cook dinner for the kids by 5pm and everyone else eats again later when the parents get home at 6. I don’t know if we need to help more or give advice on meals— or to whom, the nanny, my son or his wife!?

I read your whole post and I actually couldn't figure out why you'd be concerned for your son and his family. Dinner turned out to be too little food (let's be honest: almost certainly because you were there and the nanny wasn't prepared for extra guests or, perhaps, for how much you ate), so... disaster! Oh wait, no, the kids just ate some more. Sounds about right to me. It's great you like to snack on vacation, why would that make your son's family's policy (most likely for the benefit of their children or their waistlines) of no snacking before dinner during their regular lives a problem? The kids were fed, but you weren't told or given anything for lunch... except that your son told you to have the nanny take you to the grocery store. In other words, the lack of food in the house was explicitly acknowledged and a plan for procuring more was made. I don't even understand what you're suggesting the problem is in your last sentence. The kids eating by 5 but you having to wait until 6 when your son gets home? Seems pretty normal. I suspect if they tried to feed you with the kids at 5 you'd complain. Or is it that you want the kids to wait for you even though they're hungry? Literally can't figure out the problem. Yes, you need to help yourselves more. Because you are not a toddler. Why would anyone need your advice on meals in this scenario? And holy crap, no. You should not give "advice" to the nanny. That poor nanny.

How does a foreign MIL know about DCUM? But not instacart or uber? Give me a break, this is a troll.

OP can set up an insacart account, and order groceries to redelivered. Or take an uber or cab to the grocery store. I mean seriously, how is this a difficult problem to solve?! If OP is actually a grandparent, how have you lived so long without being able to solve a simple problem like this? Plenty of people don't have cars yet still manage to buy groceries.

I get it, OP wants to spend a FREE vacation for weeks at her son's house, with all the snack foods and large meals as she desires. She doesn't want to cook them. She doesn't want to shop or pay for it. For weeks on end. And because she's from a different country it's ok and excusable. Got it. WTH?!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.

This is the first world OP. Parents don’t deserve respect and consideration. I love my third world country where these small values still exist. I regret raising kids here. If this a sample of what average parents need to expect. Shame on you people. These are your parents. Treat them well in their old age.

Be their servant? In that world OP would have been a stay at home mom with zero income. Remember the bit where she has to go to work to help support the family?

Women in third world countries on an average are more educated than those in the US. And most women in third world countries need to work. That doesn’t mean they treat their in-laws and parents like dirt. Real education and culture is having a heart and treating those who birthed and raised you with care, love and respect. OP is visiting her child out of the love and connection she still feels. She isn’t living there. A parent should never be made to feel like a burden at her child’s house. Would it behoove these busy bodies to arrange for their food and well being? Basic needs! There is pride and joy in putting others before you. But you need to look deep inside yourself to find that. Most people in the US are too shallow and wrapped up in themselves, to do that . Again, SHAME ON ALL OF YOU dissing these parents. Shame on this sick culture.

And how is the SON that OP birthed off the hook from any of the hosting, groceries, logistics? Because he has a penis? So DIL should kill herself and be treated like a slave? Then you should have married your son to a girl from a village who would wash your feet. But that ship has sailed. It behooves for people to pull their weight and act like adults, not petulant helpless toddlers, that's the culture here. So you go ahead and feel pride by not putting your dining options before the needs of others. Go back to your healthy culture, where women eat last, whatever is left over from the husband and his parents.

Go actually visit some countries before you rat off “facts”. I know my post came off as blaming the DIL but really I was blaming them both.

What are "rat off facts"?
Is this where that impressive education comes into play?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.

This is the first world OP. Parents don’t deserve respect and consideration. I love my third world country where these small values still exist. I regret raising kids here. If this a sample of what average parents need to expect. Shame on you people. These are your parents. Treat them well in their old age.

Be their servant? In that world OP would have been a stay at home mom with zero income. Remember the bit where she has to go to work to help support the family?

Women in third world countries on an average are more educated than those in the US. And most women in third world countries need to work. That doesn’t mean they treat their in-laws and parents like dirt. Real education and culture is having a heart and treating those who birthed and raised you with care, love and respect. OP is visiting her child out of the love and connection she still feels. She isn’t living there. A parent should never be made to feel like a burden at her child’s house. Would it behoove these busy bodies to arrange for their food and well being? Basic needs! There is pride and joy in putting others before you. But you need to look deep inside yourself to find that. Most people in the US are too shallow and wrapped up in themselves, to do that . Again, SHAME ON ALL OF YOU dissing these parents. Shame on this sick culture.

Oh, are you still here?

I thought you'd gone back to your third world highly educated culture by now, since you obviously despise it here so much?

Please post FACTS on your assertion that women in third world countries are more educated than Americans.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.

This is the first world OP. Parents don’t deserve respect and consideration. I love my third world country where these small values still exist. I regret raising kids here. If this a sample of what average parents need to expect. Shame on you people. These are your parents. Treat them well in their old age.

Bye!
You're more than welcome to leave & not come back... but I'm guessing you'd never do that, right?

It's more fun to bitch about America than actually leave America, because truth be told you'd never go back to living in a third world country.

If that's your dream though, have at it.

Anonymous wrote:Rent a car if you don't have one, drive to the store and cook. Problem solved.

She already said she doesn't like to drive around here.
Reading comprehension. Problem solved.