My child, but also, I knew it just her so much at that time and won't in the long run.

Anonymous wrote:Because I've considered it at least 1,000 times, and every single time I've gotten to a better place - even if temporarily - that makes me glad I'm alive.

It's okay to contemplate it. Life is hard.

But, it's not a good solution. To anything, really.

Please, if you are thinking of this, hang in there.

This. Plus my family has lost a child, and I couldn’t do that to my family. It’s extremely selfish.

1. Meds. I have bipolar 2 disorder and 300 mg of lamictal daily just took away the suicidal ideations I had experienced daily since adolescence.

2. Before that it was my kids

3. Friends who basically shamed be into not doing it. Thank goodness for them.

I have a chronic pain condition and it sucks. When pain is really bad, I absolutely go there, but then I remember my parents and children. Plus, I'll die soon enough so there's really no rush. If this is the only life that I'm dealt, guess I have to deal with it and just plug ahead.

I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. I find getting out helps me break the bad cycles.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks

a doctor that was treating me said, the very worst thing you can do to your kids is to kill yourself. They will have a lifetime of misery because of your decision.

whenever I start thinking about a way out, i remember his words.

My parents would never get over it, it would devastate them.

Hang in there OP.

Anyone without kids, and not particularly close to their siblings/parents any more? Meaning you struggle to come up with reasons to be here.

Because I have a child and I am not sure how to do it painless.

Anonymous wrote:Single mom PP here.
Thank you for the kind responses. Depression is a horrid blackness that lies to you. I know this. And today is better than yesterday. I will call my doctor and change my meds. But I don't believe it will help.

TBH, if I disappeared, I would be lifting a tiresome burden from so many people. Including my children. They are almost grown, and no one else would miss me. I am not special, and I am not good enough for my kids. Not in the least. And those of you who understand what I am talking about, know that I believe this in my bones. And that it breaks my heart.

Please hang on PP - new poster here and I'm sending some strength through the internet. You are the only mom your kids have - that by definition IS good enough. One foot in front of the other. Its ok - there is no problem that is not fixable.

Anonymous wrote:Single mom PP here.
Thank you for the kind responses. Depression is a horrid blackness that lies to you. I know this. And today is better than yesterday. I will call my doctor and change my meds. But I don't believe it will help.

TBH, if I disappeared, I would be lifting a tiresome burden from so many people. Including my children. They are almost grown, and no one else would miss me. I am not special, and I am not good enough for my kids. Not in the least. And those of you who understand what I am talking about, know that I believe this in my bones. And that it breaks my heart.

Depressive here.
1. My meds stopped working at one point. But now I'm on a totally different type and I feel amazing. And i have to take the brand name not the generic for some reason but please please keep trying to fi d the right drug

2. If your kids are in college or high school and you go away
...they will not finish their education. I've seen it happen with my students. Stay here, dammit.

3. Depression lies and says you are a burden. But you are not. You are a beloved perfect child of the Universe. It used to say the same crap to me and it seemed to impossible to ask for help. But things get better. I'm listening to a good podcast called Self Work by Dr Margaret Rutherford and she has come up with a special kind of Depression called Perfectly Hidden Depression. Please check it out.

Anonymous wrote:Single mom PP here.
Thank you for the kind responses. Depression is a horrid blackness that lies to you. I know this. And today is better than yesterday. I will call my doctor and change my meds. But I don't believe it will help.

TBH, if I disappeared, I would be lifting a tiresome burden from so many people. Including my children. They are almost grown, and no one else would miss me. I am not special, and I am not good enough for my kids. Not in the least. And those of you who understand what I am talking about, know that I believe this in my bones. And that it breaks my heart.

Oh, I have been there OP, many, many times. And I can tell you that since I switched to be on these new meds, I haven't given much to this darkness that used to swallow me. I don't believe anyone is special, but I always tell myself, I'm here, I'm alive, I'm well, I'm free AND I'm going to use this space I inhabit to make the world around me better. I'm taking up a spot, and I'm going to make it worth it that I have it. Hugs, dear. You don't have to feel this way, I wish I believed this years ago. I wish I started meds years ago. Please talk to your doctor about something else. Hugs.

Single mom PP here.
Thank you for the kind responses. Depression is a horrid blackness that lies to you. I know this. And today is better than yesterday. I will call my doctor and change my meds. But I don't believe it will help.

TBH, if I disappeared, I would be lifting a tiresome burden from so many people. Including my children. They are almost grown, and no one else would miss me. I am not special, and I am not good enough for my kids. Not in the least. And those of you who understand what I am talking about, know that I believe this in my bones. And that it breaks my heart.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single mom here - pretty sure my kids would be better off without me. I'm not doing anyone much good. I'm basically taking up space and wish I was a much better mom and a much better provider. I'm on meds, in therapy, doing my due diligence. But I think about suicide every day. But if you saw me, you would never ever know.

No, your kids would not be better off without you. Ask anyone who lost a mom. It hurts and it never gets better. They love you and you love them. Hugs.

+1. Your kids need you to protect and advocate for them. Hugs to you. One day at a time.

If I know that I would die instantly with no pain, I would do it. I always think that I would get f’ed up badly and not even make it to the other side

I lost my father to suicide. I have a happy life but carry that pain with me forever. Please, please don’t do this to your loved ones. My father would have been the best grandfather in the world. I wish more than anything that he could have held on to see a brighter future.