Each family is different and will have the experiences they have. Some large families end up being close, some don't. Some Only Kids don't feel like they are close to their parents, some do.

I think that it is harder as you increase the number of kids because some kids might need more parental attention and that can cause jealousy. That doesn't mean that you don't provide the attention/help to the kids who need the extra attention but that you have to be more aware that the other kids might be jealous. I think it is harder with more kids because it is harder to get kids to multiple activities at the same time. I think it is harder with more kids because it is more expensive.

That doesn't mean that it cannot be a great thing but that it might be more difficult.

Make the choices that feel best for you and your family. The are Pros and Cons to all choices.

Anonymous wrote:I am a new poster from a big family where none of us had more than 1-2 kids. I am happy with my smaller family. My parents were happy with their larger family. It's okay both ways.

Same with my family. My mom has five children and only 3 grandchildren and nobody is having any more kids.

Anonymous wrote:9 kids in my family. You basically don't get to develop a deep parenting relationship with each individual kid. There are other benefits for the kids (independence, fun, family belonginess) but a lot fewer parental resources for each one.

I think 4 kids is really the max if you want to be close to your lids.

Disagree. I'm one of 7 and we're all close with our parents. You have to intentional about quality time, eg we had designated read-aloud time every evening, and as we got older we all found different activities we did with our parents, like running or birdwatching.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve noticed a few things about parents of only children that cannot fathom having any additional kids:
1) They don’t realize that siblings actually enjoy spending time together.
2) Often the fathers are not very engaged. I had a mother of an only ask me how I handle my kids being in different activities at the same time. I thought it was pretty obvious that my husband took one kid. But after I told her, she responded that she handles the activities...okay...
3) They have some time-consuming hobby or job with weird hours and fail to consider that others do not have that taking up their time
4) They are low energy people

I have noticed this a lot. I try and remember back when I had one kid and wonder if with each kid I just got more energy (Kinda like a fake it till you make it theory) or if Ive always had a lot of energy and that contributed to my desire to have 3 kids.

Gosh, you people are bitches. Some high energy, wonderful people who don’t have weird hobbies or jobs have one kid because of infertility. But since you are jerks with no empathy, how would you be expected to understand that. Enjoy paying over a million dollars to send your four kids to college and congrats on contributing to overpopulation.

Willing to bet parents of 4+ kids have no plans to pay for college. I have two friends with big families (4 kids and 6 kids), and they live on single income. Moms home school. Neither have any college savings/529 plans. I guess they're counting on scholarships or big time financial aid, but I think that is so limiting to the kids. There's just no extra income by the time they feed giant families, pay for housing, insurance, etc.

People with all sorts of numbers of children have trouble making ends meet and don’t have anything saved in 529s. It has really not been my experience that homeschooling families with multiple children are any more likely not to save for college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve noticed a few things about parents of only children that cannot fathom having any additional kids:
1) They don’t realize that siblings actually enjoy spending time together.
2) Often the fathers are not very engaged. I had a mother of an only ask me how I handle my kids being in different activities at the same time. I thought it was pretty obvious that my husband took one kid. But after I told her, she responded that she handles the activities...okay...
3) They have some time-consuming hobby or job with weird hours and fail to consider that others do not have that taking up their time
4) They are low energy people

I have noticed this a lot. I try and remember back when I had one kid and wonder if with each kid I just got more energy (Kinda like a fake it till you make it theory) or if Ive always had a lot of energy and that contributed to my desire to have 3 kids.

Gosh, you people are bitches. Some high energy, wonderful people who don’t have weird hobbies or jobs have one kid because of infertility. But since you are jerks with no empathy, how would you be expected to understand that. Enjoy paying over a million dollars to send your four kids to college and congrats on contributing to overpopulation.

Willing to bet parents of 4+ kids have no plans to pay for college. I have two friends with big families (4 kids and 6 kids), and they live on single income. Moms home school. Neither have any college savings/529 plans. I guess they're counting on scholarships or big time financial aid, but I think that is so limiting to the kids. There's just no extra income by the time they feed giant families, pay for housing, insurance, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve noticed a few things about parents of only children that cannot fathom having any additional kids:
1) They don’t realize that siblings actually enjoy spending time together.
2) Often the fathers are not very engaged. I had a mother of an only ask me how I handle my kids being in different activities at the same time. I thought it was pretty obvious that my husband took one kid. But after I told her, she responded that she handles the activities...okay...
3) They have some time-consuming hobby or job with weird hours and fail to consider that others do not have that taking up their time
4) They are low energy people

I have noticed this a lot. I try and remember back when I had one kid and wonder if with each kid I just got more energy (Kinda like a fake it till you make it theory) or if Ive always had a lot of energy and that contributed to my desire to have 3 kids.

Gosh, you people are bitches. Some high energy, wonderful people who don’t have weird hobbies or jobs have one kid because of infertility. But since you are jerks with no empathy, how would you be expected to understand that. Enjoy paying over a million dollars to send your four kids to college and congrats on contributing to overpopulation.

Learn to read! If you have one because of infertility, then it’s not because you just can’t fathom having additional kids.

Somehow I think that PPs judgment about 1 kid families extends to more than just those “who can’t fathom” having more kids.

Why do you think that? She was specifically responding to previous posters on this thread who were judging families with multiple children as “not having enough resources.”
It’s not like she made the statement out of the blue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve noticed a few things about parents of only children that cannot fathom having any additional kids:
1) They don’t realize that siblings actually enjoy spending time together.
2) Often the fathers are not very engaged. I had a mother of an only ask me how I handle my kids being in different activities at the same time. I thought it was pretty obvious that my husband took one kid. But after I told her, she responded that she handles the activities...okay...
3) They have some time-consuming hobby or job with weird hours and fail to consider that others do not have that taking up their time
4) They are low energy people

I have noticed this a lot. I try and remember back when I had one kid and wonder if with each kid I just got more energy (Kinda like a fake it till you make it theory) or if Ive always had a lot of energy and that contributed to my desire to have 3 kids.

Gosh, you people are bitches. Some high energy, wonderful people who don’t have weird hobbies or jobs have one kid because of infertility. But since you are jerks with no empathy, how would you be expected to understand that. Enjoy paying over a million dollars to send your four kids to college and congrats on contributing to overpopulation.

Learn to read! If you have one because of infertility, then it’s not because you just can’t fathom having additional kids.

Somehow I think that PPs judgment about 1 kid families extends to more than just those “who can’t fathom” having more kids.

+1 That much is clear. What a rigid and judgmental person. Sad.