Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. People are focusing on the pizza but that's not the issue. Yes, there are lazy parents at our wealthy school who cannot be bothered to contribute. It is obnoxious. IME, sometimes it's the wealthiest people are the ones that don't send in their class dues.

One SAHM was telling me how she was remodeling her whole kitchen and all the expensive stuff she put in there yet she despite several reminders she didn't send in her $25. But the less wealthy parents who work FT out of the home did send in their dues.

The pizza or what happens at the party is not the issue. The issue here is OP overspent big time and now is demanding more. I find the low income families tend to be far more generous with food and other basics. The PTA parents generally refuse as they feel their donation is to the PTA in time however, they know the PTA refuses to help individual teachers or classrooms so its really selfish as they are two different things. I don't think you should ask for $25 all at once. I far prefer asking for food/supply donations and everyone should be doing their own classroom gifts. My guess is those wealthy ones are not putting much time into their kids or even checking the flyers or emails to be bothered to send it in as they have multiple excuses that they are so busy, multiple kids (which generally means you should be able to afford more), etc. but funny enough when it comes to party time, they bring all those kids and show up and are the ones also eating. It makes the kids happy and that is all that is important.

You can easily do a classroom party for $75-100, even $50. Depending on the year, we've had one family usually donate the pizza and another the cupcakes so that's the main part of the cost. I save all decorations year to year so its not a big deal and just buy a few new things each year. So, the issue is how OP spent the money as there is no accountability, which there should be.

"No more parties until the end of the year."

If I was a parent in your DC's class, I would be happy. Why should they have parties? The only parties my kids have are a couple of big parties for the whole school and they are paid by the PTA, not by classrooms.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe some families are struggling and don’t feel it’s prudent to contribute to such non-essential nonsense. You do you.

Our school dictates the parties. I don’t care if you donate but yes, we see your the biggest house in the neighborhood and drive the fanciest new car and then scream poverty over donating some napkins from dollar tree. Your kids will have fun and be treated the same either way.

Your school tells you that there needs to be a party, or that it needs to have pizza and fancy napkins?

And is it the school or the PTA?

School dictates it. Dollar tree is fancy? A few $5 pizzas is fancy.

27 $5 pizzas to be precise.

Most schools have free paper towels that work just fine to put a cupcake on. So yes. Judging a parent because they won’t make a special run to a special store is absurd. I am happy to have my kid eat off the school paper towels. I am happy to send you 30 napkins from the stack in my kitchen. If you are not happy to have those napkins in your pictures then please purchase them yourself.

I am a parent who contributes to the school. My kid’s teacher know that. I don’t need PTA mom to validate me.

If you don't want to give or have your child participate you can opt out. Most people grocery shop once a week. Is it really that hard or send in a few dollars? Our PTA has nothing to do with classroom parties. We don't always have basics at our school like paper towels or soap.

When my DS teacher asks for classroom supplies, I provide supplies. Occassionally I bring in a box of granola bars for the teacher to provide kids who forgot snacks. I try and volunteer my time when I can. I chip in for gifts and the like. I can do those things so I do them. Not everyone can and I get that. the idea that there are room parents collecting “dues” is mind boogling. Not every parent is in the financial position that I am. This is public school, the only dues a family has are their taxes, everything else is a bonus if the family has it.

Stop judging people based on what you choose to do. Different people have different priorities and different needs.

Not every can, but many can and choose not to which is fine, but don't play the I'm broke game when you have two nicer cars and a huge house with a nanny. We've never collected. We ask for donations and if that doesn't happen either the room parent/s pay or teacher pays or it doesn't happen. OP overspent which is the real issue and is now demanding more money, which isn't ok. I don't care if no one donates but I do care when people are smug about it when their kids enjoy it and they can afford it and its only 2-3 parties a year. The worst are people who can afford it but expect others to do it all, including those snacks you and I provide as we don't want to see their kids going without. I'd far rather pay for the entire party if parents were chipping in supplies and snacks for the rest of the year. I easily spend a few hundred on classroom stuff per classroom, but its a lot cheaper than private and if you've ever been to the parties, you will see the kids really enjoy them. For some kids, its the only parties they are invited to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe some families are struggling and don’t feel it’s prudent to contribute to such non-essential nonsense. You do you.

Our school dictates the parties. I don’t care if you donate but yes, we see your the biggest house in the neighborhood and drive the fanciest new car and then scream poverty over donating some napkins from dollar tree. Your kids will have fun and be treated the same either way.

Your school tells you that there needs to be a party, or that it needs to have pizza and fancy napkins?

And is it the school or the PTA?

School dictates it. Dollar tree is fancy? A few $5 pizzas is fancy.

27 $5 pizzas to be precise.

Most schools have free paper towels that work just fine to put a cupcake on. So yes. Judging a parent because they won’t make a special run to a special store is absurd. I am happy to have my kid eat off the school paper towels. I am happy to send you 30 napkins from the stack in my kitchen. If you are not happy to have those napkins in your pictures then please purchase them yourself.

I am a parent who contributes to the school. My kid’s teacher know that. I don’t need PTA mom to validate me.

If you don't want to give or have your child participate you can opt out. Most people grocery shop once a week. Is it really that hard or send in a few dollars? Our PTA has nothing to do with classroom parties. We don't always have basics at our school like paper towels or soap.

If my kids school didn’t have paper towels or soap, then I would be donating those things, and food for hungry kids to take home for the weekend, not $135 pizzas and streamers.

The problem is most people, who can afford it don't nor do they think about it. I'm amazed at what our teachers go without and what our teachers provide. A few times as a room parent I've asked parents to send stuff but I'm amazed at how many don't think to regularly donate, especially now after you send your kids in sick and they run out of basics like kleenex, soap and cleaning supplies. There is no way pizza should cost $135 so that room parent is doing it wrong. You can do a party with pizza and streamers, along with other food and snacks for half that (assuming no one donates).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe some families are struggling and don’t feel it’s prudent to contribute to such non-essential nonsense. You do you.

Our school dictates the parties. I don’t care if you donate but yes, we see your the biggest house in the neighborhood and drive the fanciest new car and then scream poverty over donating some napkins from dollar tree. Your kids will have fun and be treated the same either way.

Your school tells you that there needs to be a party, or that it needs to have pizza and fancy napkins?

And is it the school or the PTA?

School dictates it. Dollar tree is fancy? A few $5 pizzas is fancy.

27 $5 pizzas to be precise.

Most schools have free paper towels that work just fine to put a cupcake on. So yes. Judging a parent because they won’t make a special run to a special store is absurd. I am happy to have my kid eat off the school paper towels. I am happy to send you 30 napkins from the stack in my kitchen. If you are not happy to have those napkins in your pictures then please purchase them yourself.

I am a parent who contributes to the school. My kid’s teacher know that. I don’t need PTA mom to validate me.

If you don't want to give or have your child participate you can opt out. Most people grocery shop once a week. Is it really that hard or send in a few dollars? Our PTA has nothing to do with classroom parties. We don't always have basics at our school like paper towels or soap.

When my DS teacher asks for classroom supplies, I provide supplies. Occassionally I bring in a box of granola bars for the teacher to provide kids who forgot snacks. I try and volunteer my time when I can. I chip in for gifts and the like. I can do those things so I do them. Not everyone can and I get that. the idea that there are room parents collecting “dues” is mind boogling. Not every parent is in the financial position that I am. This is public school, the only dues a family has are their taxes, everything else is a bonus if the family has it.

Stop judging people based on what you choose to do. Different people have different priorities and different needs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

I would not contribute based on general principle and get the teacher my own gift. Emails naming who hadn’t contributed? Minimum contribution? This is a public school not a private school. There are a variety of parents who may or may not be able to contribute. Why the hell are you guilting them into contributing to your ideal version of what an elementary school party should be? Holy crap.

My DS room parents send out an email and clearly say they understand that not eevery one can contribute and no one is required to contribute. Those who can contribute send in money but not everyone can. Or people can contribute at different levels because of jobs or number of kids.

Just damn

+100 In no way can you make these donations mandatory. That’s ludicrous.

Anonymous wrote:Our room parent requested $100 at the beginning of the year. Is that you OP?

Not doing it. There is no way you need nearly $3000 to fund what you say is everything. If that’s what you need, your budgeting skills worry me.

Oh, heck no. That is crazy!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe some families are struggling and don’t feel it’s prudent to contribute to such non-essential nonsense. You do you.

Our school dictates the parties. I don’t care if you donate but yes, we see your the biggest house in the neighborhood and drive the fanciest new car and then scream poverty over donating some napkins from dollar tree. Your kids will have fun and be treated the same either way.

Your school tells you that there needs to be a party, or that it needs to have pizza and fancy napkins?

And is it the school or the PTA?

School dictates it. Dollar tree is fancy? A few $5 pizzas is fancy.

27 $5 pizzas to be precise.

Most schools have free paper towels that work just fine to put a cupcake on. So yes. Judging a parent because they won’t make a special run to a special store is absurd. I am happy to have my kid eat off the school paper towels. I am happy to send you 30 napkins from the stack in my kitchen. If you are not happy to have those napkins in your pictures then please purchase them yourself.

I am a parent who contributes to the school. My kid’s teacher know that. I don’t need PTA mom to validate me.

If you don't want to give or have your child participate you can opt out. Most people grocery shop once a week. Is it really that hard or send in a few dollars? Our PTA has nothing to do with classroom parties. We don't always have basics at our school like paper towels or soap.

If my kids school didn’t have paper towels or soap, then I would be donating those things, and food for hungry kids to take home for the weekend, not $135 pizzas and streamers.

Sorry, OP. People are focusing on the pizza but that's not the issue. Yes, there are lazy parents at our wealthy school who cannot be bothered to contribute. It is obnoxious. IME, sometimes it's the wealthiest people are the ones that don't send in their class dues.

One SAHM was telling me how she was remodeling her whole kitchen and all the expensive stuff she put in there yet she despite several reminders she didn't send in her $25. But the less wealthy parents who work FT out of the home did send in their dues.

Anonymous wrote:Our school doesn’t do any of these types of activities and I honestly don’t think I’d be very happy about them if they did. I always contribute but expect my contributions to go towards teacher gifts and class supplies for educational or artistic needs. My kids don’t need more pizza or cupcakes.

But, with regards to funds, send reminders.

If your kids don't need more pizza and cupcakes why do you feed them all the junk at home? The issue with OP is she misspent the money and now is demanding more. She should not send reminders and she should cover the party herself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe some families are struggling and don’t feel it’s prudent to contribute to such non-essential nonsense. You do you.

Our school dictates the parties. I don’t care if you donate but yes, we see your the biggest house in the neighborhood and drive the fanciest new car and then scream poverty over donating some napkins from dollar tree. Your kids will have fun and be treated the same either way.

Your school tells you that there needs to be a party, or that it needs to have pizza and fancy napkins?

And is it the school or the PTA?

School dictates it. Dollar tree is fancy? A few $5 pizzas is fancy.

27 $5 pizzas to be precise.

Most schools have free paper towels that work just fine to put a cupcake on. So yes. Judging a parent because they won’t make a special run to a special store is absurd. I am happy to have my kid eat off the school paper towels. I am happy to send you 30 napkins from the stack in my kitchen. If you are not happy to have those napkins in your pictures then please purchase them yourself.

I am a parent who contributes to the school. My kid’s teacher know that. I don’t need PTA mom to validate me.

If you don't want to give or have your child participate you can opt out. Most people grocery shop once a week. Is it really that hard or send in a few dollars? Our PTA has nothing to do with classroom parties. We don't always have basics at our school like paper towels or soap.

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t have parties in school growing up I don’t think. Just a Halloween parade and Valentines card exchange. I don’t even remember “room parents.” Is this a new thing or a rich school thing?

From what I gather, both.

I didn’t have parties in school growing up I don’t think. Just a Halloween parade and Valentines card exchange. I don’t even remember “room parents.” Is this a new thing or a rich school thing?

Anonymous wrote:Our room parent requested $100 at the beginning of the year. Is that you OP?

Not doing it. There is no way you need nearly $3000 to fund what you say is everything. If that’s what you need, your budgeting skills worry me.

I'm not paying $100 either. Frankly, I don't have it to give. If I had it, it would go towards our family's medical bills/home repair/car repair. Its not been a great year so far. OP can shove that $135 pizza and the craft and the costumes. For god's sake at least collect for something useful.

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

Wow, if I found out you were lying to and bullying other parents in this way it would be hard to maintain a working relationship for the sake of your child. I’d do it, because I am a professional, but it would be hard. And if you asked for anything extra for yourself (e.g. permission to attend a field trip or a different conference time, or my advice on something) forget it. I don’t tolerate liars or bullies of any age.