Anonymous wrote:I definitely do not think being gay is a phase. I don’t think it’s a lifestyle choice at all.

That said, I think sometimes people, especially teens/young adults, go through phases where they think they are gay or bi. Girls get a “girl crush” or guys get a “ guy crush” and think that means they’re gay/bi. I am straight but have definitely had girl crushes.

I know a woman who came out to her entire family many years ago. They supported her and she began dating women. She quickly figured out that she is not actually gay at all. She has been happily married to a man for about 20 years.

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Anonymous wrote:My parents only ever knew I dated men and that I married a man. I came out to bi to them a few months ago at 33 (yes, my husband's known since we started dating). So just because you haven't seen her show interest in girls doesn't mean she hasn't...

PP here -- wanted to add, at least she trusted you enough to tell you. As I said, I waited until I was 33 to share that part of my life with my parents for many reasons, but mostly because I was scared of what their reaction would be. I only told them now because 1) they might find out anyway (I've been talking about it more publicly of late) and 2) I'm self sufficient and if they wanted to not talk to me because of it, it wouldn't matter.

So, just support her and don't worry about whether she's going to "revert." That's exactly why people don't tell their parents.

How is it relevant if you are married to a man now though? I don’t get it.

Being married to a man doesn't change who I'm attracted to our how I identify. I also do a fair amount of working with and for the LGBT community and not being fully "out" was a problem for that... Also, the fact that bi folks can pass as straight (or alternatively, as gay) is really bad for the community and leads folks to assume bi folks don't exist.

I don't get it either. It sounds like there is a good chance that the poster wants to be with women again, perhaps she's getting her parents and others prepared for this.


I'm sorry but I disagree. You're married. Unless you have an open marriage, it doesn't matter if you're attracted to fish, because you're never going to act on it. Why do you think anyone needs to know, or cares, what you find attractive or a turn-on?

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Anonymous wrote:OK since the previous poster used the term lipstick lesbian. What is with hyper feminine high school and college women posting in pictures with their hands all over each other (e.g., hands on each other’s butts)?

Kardashian effect. I'm not hating, I'm just serious. American Meme on Netflix sort of looks at this.

Do they Kardashians put their hands all over other women including their butts?

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Anonymous wrote:My parents only ever knew I dated men and that I married a man. I came out to bi to them a few months ago at 33 (yes, my husband's known since we started dating). So just because you haven't seen her show interest in girls doesn't mean she hasn't...

PP here -- wanted to add, at least she trusted you enough to tell you. As I said, I waited until I was 33 to share that part of my life with my parents for many reasons, but mostly because I was scared of what their reaction would be. I only told them now because 1) they might find out anyway (I've been talking about it more publicly of late) and 2) I'm self sufficient and if they wanted to not talk to me because of it, it wouldn't matter.

So, just support her and don't worry about whether she's going to "revert." That's exactly why people don't tell their parents.

How is it relevant if you are married to a man now though? I don’t get it.

Being married to a man doesn't change who I'm attracted to our how I identify. I also do a fair amount of working with and for the LGBT community and not being fully "out" was a problem for that... Also, the fact that bi folks can pass as straight (or alternatively, as gay) is really bad for the community and leads folks to assume bi folks don't exist.

I'm sorry but I disagree. You're married. Unless you have an open marriage, it doesn't matter if you're attracted to fish, because you're never going to act on it. Why do you think anyone needs to know, or cares, what you find attractive or a turn-on?

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Anonymous wrote:My parents only ever knew I dated men and that I married a man. I came out to bi to them a few months ago at 33 (yes, my husband's known since we started dating). So just because you haven't seen her show interest in girls doesn't mean she hasn't...

PP here -- wanted to add, at least she trusted you enough to tell you. As I said, I waited until I was 33 to share that part of my life with my parents for many reasons, but mostly because I was scared of what their reaction would be. I only told them now because 1) they might find out anyway (I've been talking about it more publicly of late) and 2) I'm self sufficient and if they wanted to not talk to me because of it, it wouldn't matter.

So, just support her and don't worry about whether she's going to "revert." That's exactly why people don't tell their parents.

How is it relevant if you are married to a man now though? I don’t get it.

Being married to a man doesn't change who I'm attracted to our how I identify. I also do a fair amount of working with and for the LGBT community and not being fully "out" was a problem for that... Also, the fact that bi folks can pass as straight (or alternatively, as gay) is really bad for the community and leads folks to assume bi folks don't exist.

Anonymous wrote:Didn't read all the responses, but LOOOOOLLLL at this being "trendy." Parents and other Olds were saying that when I was a teenager-- 20-25 years ago. "It's so ~*trendy*~." Yeah, ever since it became marginally socially acceptable to say it out loud, adults have been calling it a trend, because they hope it will pass.

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Anonymous wrote:Think of it this way: Could you be attracted to a different gender just as a fashion statement? Probably not, huh? So if she says she's bi, she's probably genuinely attracted to women. Whether she continues to act on that attraction, is a different story.

Of course you could. You obviously don't know any impressionable, gullible, naive, easily manipulated teen age girls.

It's incredibly trendy to be anything other than a straight/cis-gendered female. In fact, in many circles just being a boring old straight girl is actually square.

Anonymous wrote:Out of curiosity, for those of you with bisexual/lesbian HS age daughters - do you allow sleepovers. It would seem to me that if a kid is open about being sexually attracted to her own sex, that parents would have to establish the same rules/boundaries as they would for their daughters interacting with boys. I certainly never would have been allowed to have a boy spend the night, much less have a boy in my bedroom. My daughters are younger, but I forsee having the same rules with them when they are in HS. If they come out as bisexual, that really thrown a wrench in things because then they can't have anyone spend the night, or alone in their bedroom. Seems incredibly sad to have to view other females as potential sexual partners in the same way that boys would be viewed.

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Anonymous wrote:Are you that defensive that you can’t admit it’s the normal course of human biology? Have you noticed how the male and female parts line up?! (Am I trying to explain this to a tween???)

Penises also line up with other orifices, whether male or female. I knew a guy in college who had a thing for armpits.

And yet it takes egg and sperm for the human race to go on. So, inherently, male plus female. That’s biology stating what’s normal.

Drinking game alert!

You need to take a shot every time this joker uses "normal" in a post.

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Anonymous wrote:OK since the previous poster used the term lipstick lesbian. What is with hyper feminine high school and college women posting in pictures with their hands all over each other (e.g., hands on each other’s butts)?

Kardashian effect. I'm not hating, I'm just serious. American Meme on Netflix sort of looks at this.

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Anonymous wrote:Think of it this way: Could you be attracted to a different gender just as a fashion statement? Probably not, huh? So if she says she's bi, she's probably genuinely attracted to women. Whether she continues to act on that attraction, is a different story.

Of course you could. You obviously don't know any impressionable, gullible, naive, easily manipulated teen age girls.