Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Raising children, keeping house IS work. Very few men are truly willing to take on 50% or anywhere close to that. Superwoman is a joke.

Another way of saying this is that men are better at focusing only on the most essential aspects of raising children and housekeeping, without allowing those things to become their entire identity.

What?
Have you ever lived with a heterosexual man? Was your father amazing at doing all of the essential tasks of keeping house and raising children?

Anonymous wrote:Raising children, keeping house IS work. Very few men are truly willing to take on 50% or anywhere close to that. Superwoman is a joke.

Another way of saying this is that men are better at focusing only on the most essential aspects of raising children and housekeeping, without allowing those things to become their entire identity.

Don't people tend to marry within the same social class, though?

I am ambitious and work for a large consulting company. When dating, men usually found a way to ask me how long I planned on travelling and/or working so much on the first or second date. My husband never asked me to stop or even to slow down. That’s why I married him.

Raising children, keeping house IS work. Very few men are truly willing to take on 50% or anywhere close to that. Superwoman is a joke.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean how many successful women do you know who also have success in love and marriage.

Being successful didn't help Huma Abedin land a good man.

For a woman who is obviously attracted to power, he probably seemed like a catch. If he wasn't an out of control sex creep, he'd be a congressman by now.

He WAS a Congressman.

Anonymous wrote:This question gets framed here incorrectly quite a bit.

Yes, we’d all like gobs of money that grew on trees.

The real question is, do you search for an intellectual equal, or more, in a woman. All things equal everywhere else, she’s a perfect ten and an heiress, do men prefer smart women.

Smart women want to know.

That's not the same question. You are asking if a man should care about a woman's intellect. OP is asking if a man should care about a woman's job/career. The smartest people I know (that includes men and women) are not necessarily the most professionally ambitious/successful. In fact, it's quite the opposite. The most professionally ambitious/successful people I know are mostly average intelligence, but they are ambitious, good at networking and schmoozing, and tend to have imbalanced lives. They don't have time to have long, meandering conversations with their spouses. They tend not to have hobbies and curiosity. They're heavily focused on climbing.

The smartest woman I know is a teacher at a Montessori school. She doesn't make a lot of money, but she's intellectually superior to most men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’m going to tell my girls to do work they are passionate about.

Um, ok. Is anyone arguing against that?

Yes. Every man on this thread who expects women's passion to be them.

No, it’s just that your job doesn’t make you hot or fun. Those are attractive traits. Your resume isn’t. That job is for you, not me.

I love that you don't get the irony of what you wrote.

Jeff Bezos is the wealthiest man in the world and his wife is a „novelist“. With 4 children. Men who make money don’t care what their wives do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’m going to tell my girls to do work they are passionate about.

Um, ok. Is anyone arguing against that?

Yes. Every man on this thread who expects women's passion to be them.

No, it’s just that your job doesn’t make you hot or fun. Those are attractive traits. Your resume isn’t. That job is for you, not me.

Anonymous wrote:One of our friends who is a successful Harvard lawyer...specifically wanted a "SAH" type so he dropped his law school GF for a nursery school teacher.

This is stupid. You are stereotyping teachers and you obviously know very few of them. I’m a teacher and I know very few who would quit to stay at home. Teachers are extremely devoted to their jobs. Not to mention, if you know any teachers or have dated a teacher, you should realize that we are some of the most controlling and bossy people you will meet. It’s why we are good at our jobs. So it’s ridiculous to suggest that men marry teachers because they will have more control.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’m going to tell my girls to do work they are passionate about.

Um, ok. Is anyone arguing against that?

Yes. Every man on this thread who expects women's passion to be them.

+1000. The nature of the question is totally centered on what men want.

Anonymous wrote:This thread is depressing and horrible to consider if you have daughters. I make 7 figures, love my career, am fit and definitely above average in the looks department. My husband makes more than I do now but for many years he did not.

I'm calling BS. You don't make over a million a year with a husband who makes even more. You are always posting that you make 7 figures. You don't. Learn to count.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. You women are over thinking things. The only thing men care about is getting laid. Everything else is secondary.

Clearly not my DH who is very pleased he has a wife who pays the whole mortgage with 1/4 of my paycheck.

I met my DW at her workplace. She was successful. When we found out she was pregnant it wasn’t even a question of her quitting, I asked why she waited so long to quit. Because yeah I wanted a trophy wife, a sophisticated one. My wife is total package, gorgeous, smart, sophisticated, domestic goddess. And she doesn’t have to pay a mortgage with a quarter of her pay check. We were smart and don’t have a mortgage. Getting laid was/is a priority.

Yes. This is what men want: a woman who has a successful career, but will drop it in order to support him and his career. Close second is the “stealth career” where she has a job, but still functions as a sahm.
I don’t know what to tell my little girls.

This is spot on. I am the poster who said her husband required the $100,000 dollar salary. You can’t have a high salary and a stay at home mom at the same time but that’s exactly what a lot of them want and expect you to follow their career. I am telling my daughters not to get married, honestly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of our friends who is a successful Harvard lawyer...specifically wanted a "SAH" type so he dropped his law school GF for a nursery school teacher.

Yep, it's about control too. He can do whatever he wants to, including cheating.

From a kindergarten teacher, please bite me. Control is relative and not everyone is a monster.