Anonymous wrote:My husband makes around 400K a year, I have three kids now 11-18 and have not worked since first one was born.

Pretty much when kids were younger 100K was "break even" to work with child care, commute, lunches at work and I made only 61K. So I could not afford to work.

Anonymous wrote:I have realized that the really average things in life is not very average at all. I have had a blissfully average life. My parents were middle class and devoted to each other, As a result I had an average drama free childhood in an intact home. There was no affairs. no divorce, no domestic vil=olence, no addiction, no abuse. I have two siblings who I was close to and continue to be close to. Again, typical aveargae sibling interaction. There was no childhood disease and mentally and physically all of us were in good health.

Then I went to college and met my DH, Got my degree, went on to do my masters, got a job, and got married. Again, no drama. DH and I were each other's first love. No prior relationships, no catching STD, no pregnancies before marriage, not a single mom - single dad situation, no hooloing up with other people. We had a straight forward, drama free, boring average relationship with no baggage.

DH and I, started with a low pay making around 80K, with both of us working in average companies in corporate America. There was nothing immoral or controversial about the products or the companies. It was not guns, or cancer drugs, or Fox News. Neither of us had student debt because our parents paid for our college. We got pregnant easily with both of our kids, I left my job to raise them, bought a nice SFH at the bottom of the market in an average area. Both my kids were healthy. We did not have to pay for IVF or struggle with infertility. Our kids were healthy so we did not have to endure all that special ed parents endure. An average family with average kids. Nothing special about us.

My relationship with my ILs and Parents is average. We all get along and their is no drama. We are not in any consumer debt because we are also careful and frugal, like our parents were. We wear average clothing from stores like Kohls and Macys, we go on average vacations in the US and sometimes abroad, staying in average hotels and not flying business class. We drive average mid-range cars that we keep for 10 years or more. My kids go to public schools in magnet programs because they work hard. They have good academic records but have average EC activities. They will go for STEM careers and we will help them with college just the way our middle class parents did. An average drama free college education. They will aim for State colleges so that they can maximize their education dollars.

And I have realized that my average life of having intact, loving, functional families; a middle class HHI with no debt; a SFH in an affordable locatity; healthy kids; happy marriage; a college education; good health; being able to SAHM; good medical insurance; being able to fund my kids college and our retirement - all of this is exactly what the people are striving for. I have an average life and that makes me very blessed.

I am sure there are people with millions and there will never be a day when I want to be in their shoes. I am very satisfied with my very average life because this is not a life that everyone can get.

Anonymous wrote:I was recently on another forum (baby forum) and was shocked as most women ther SAHM on 50-70k a year. It’s like Two different worlds with DCUM.

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Anonymous wrote:How many couples do you know who don't have kids and the wife doesn't work? They're obviously out there, but this seems like a real outlier situation. I know tons of DINKS. No stay at home wives.

You must not live in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, Potomac, McLean, Great Falls, or the very ritzy sections of DC.

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Anonymous wrote:My DH makes about $250,000. Our kids are grown. I have been at home for 26 years. No plans to work outside the home.

What about after you divorce?

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Anonymous wrote:Don't assume that being a "housewife" is always a "choice." There are many of us who made an initial choice to take care of the kids full time, then when we wanted to go back to work, there was a recession and even past the recession, no one will hire us. Doesn't matter that you are a capable person. Doesn't matter that you have an advanced degree. In some ways, I understand that an employer will favor a person with recent experience over someone with past experience.

But, after a certain number of years (and I don't mean 20), the work world just doesn't want women who have been out of the workforce. We smile and pretend it is our "choice," but that's a cover for the fact that we have been rejected literally hundreds of times.

speak for yourself. Where I live (Manhattan suburbs), few women work and that's because all their husbands earn millions of dollars in finance.

When people don't need the money and even an extra $60k wouldn't make a difference in their lifestyle, they usually choose not to work.

You're not very bright, are you?

The millionaire husband doesn't change the fact that nobody is going to hire these women, whether they want to work or not.

Not you are not that bright. The point is, these women are not even looking for a job. The thought hasn't crossed their minds in YEARS. They're sitting on millions of dollars. Why would they slave away for no reason?

The reason I work is to contribute to society, to be productive, to have a more equal relationship with my husband, to not be financially dependent, to be a good role model for my daughter and sons, to learn new things everyday, to be challenged, to be part of a team, because I have a strong work ethic, because it gives me a life outside my role as a mother and wife. These are just some of the reasons.

This.

Once again you can do all of that absent financial independence without a paying job. (Depending on savings and family money, you might have financial independence as well.)

If you have a strong work ethic you are not a SAHM or you have extremely extenuating circumstances. Why is that so hard to admit?

PP here with the DH who makes 2.5 million. My first gut reaction was to take offense to this comment, but upon reflection I think you are right. The fact is, the majority of people work to make money. Do they enjoy work? Perhaps, if they are lucky, but the endgame is more money, security, better lifestyle, etc. I suppose if I had a crazy strong work ethic I would be back at work without regard to the salary (or the fact that it wouldn't affect our lifestyle), but there's nothing I love so much that I'm willing to work so hard just for the sake of it. It's an interesting thing to think about. The fact is, I didn't love my career before I quit to stay at home. Perhaps if I had I'd feel differently. That being said, I am well educated with several advanced degrees from Ivy League institutions. I don't consider my education to be a "waste." As opposed to working, I do like learning for the sake of learning. I am an educated, intelligent citizen and that's not a bad thing.

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Anonymous wrote:Don't assume that being a "housewife" is always a "choice." There are many of us who made an initial choice to take care of the kids full time, then when we wanted to go back to work, there was a recession and even past the recession, no one will hire us. Doesn't matter that you are a capable person. Doesn't matter that you have an advanced degree. In some ways, I understand that an employer will favor a person with recent experience over someone with past experience.

But, after a certain number of years (and I don't mean 20), the work world just doesn't want women who have been out of the workforce. We smile and pretend it is our "choice," but that's a cover for the fact that we have been rejected literally hundreds of times.

speak for yourself. Where I live (Manhattan suburbs), few women work and that's because all their husbands earn millions of dollars in finance.

When people don't need the money and even an extra $60k wouldn't make a difference in their lifestyle, they usually choose not to work.

You're not very bright, are you?

The millionaire husband doesn't change the fact that nobody is going to hire these women, whether they want to work or not.

Not you are not that bright. The point is, these women are not even looking for a job. The thought hasn't crossed their minds in YEARS. They're sitting on millions of dollars. Why would they slave away for no reason?

The reason I work is to contribute to society, to be productive, to have a more equal relationship with my husband, to not be financially dependent, to be a good role model for my daughter and sons, to learn new things everyday, to be challenged, to be part of a team, because I have a strong work ethic, because it gives me a life outside my role as a mother and wife. These are just some of the reasons.

This.

Once again you can do all of that absent financial independence without a paying job. (Depending on savings and family money, you might have financial independence as well.)

If you have a strong work ethic you are not a SAHM or you have extremely extenuating circumstances. Why is that so hard to admit?

PP here with the DH who makes 2.5 million. My first gut reaction was to take offense to this comment, but upon reflection I think you are right. The fact is, the majority of people work to make money. Do they enjoy work? Perhaps, if they are lucky, but the endgame is more money, security, better lifestyle, etc. I suppose if I had a crazy strong work ethic I would be back at work without regard to the salary (or the fact that it wouldn't affect our lifestyle), but there's nothing I love so much that I'm willing to work so hard just for the sake of it. It's an interesting thing to think about. The fact is, I didn't love my career before I quit to stay at home. Perhaps if I had I'd feel differently. That being said, I am well educated with several advanced degrees from Ivy League institutions. I don't consider my education to be a "waste." As opposed to working, I do like learning for the sake of learning. I am an educated, intelligent citizen and that's not a bad thing.

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Anonymous wrote:Don't assume that being a "housewife" is always a "choice." There are many of us who made an initial choice to take care of the kids full time, then when we wanted to go back to work, there was a recession and even past the recession, no one will hire us. Doesn't matter that you are a capable person. Doesn't matter that you have an advanced degree. In some ways, I understand that an employer will favor a person with recent experience over someone with past experience.

But, after a certain number of years (and I don't mean 20), the work world just doesn't want women who have been out of the workforce. We smile and pretend it is our "choice," but that's a cover for the fact that we have been rejected literally hundreds of times.

speak for yourself. Where I live (Manhattan suburbs), few women work and that's because all their husbands earn millions of dollars in finance.

When people don't need the money and even an extra $60k wouldn't make a difference in their lifestyle, they usually choose not to work.

You're not very bright, are you?

The millionaire husband doesn't change the fact that nobody is going to hire these women, whether they want to work or not.

Not you are not that bright. The point is, these women are not even looking for a job. The thought hasn't crossed their minds in YEARS. They're sitting on millions of dollars. Why would they slave away for no reason?

The reason I work is to contribute to society, to be productive, to have a more equal relationship with my husband, to not be financially dependent, to be a good role model for my daughter and sons, to learn new things everyday, to be challenged, to be part of a team, because I have a strong work ethic, because it gives me a life outside my role as a mother and wife. These are just some of the reasons.

This.

Once again you can do all of that absent financial independence without a paying job. (Depending on savings and family money, you might have financial independence as well.)

If you have a strong work ethic you are not a SAHM or you have extremely extenuating circumstances. Why is that so hard to admit?