We go to a private school in a very cold climate that insists on doing swimming in January. My DDs have long hair which they don't give them time to dry before they take a bus back to the school. It takes hours to dry without a hairdryer so they spend recess with a wet head also. I've opted out and I don't give a toss about what other people think. Wet hair in sub-zero temps is stupid in my opinion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re making the right decision OP. If it makes her that uncomfortable and affects her for the rest of the day, it’s not worth dealing with the hassle. I don’t get why people think children should trudge through every uncomfortable thing they dislike doing because that’s how it’s always been done and they prefer not to make waves when there are easier options available. Sometimes they have to suck it up and do it, and maybe it builds character, but sometimes we don’t need to unnecessarily inconvenience ourselves and there are lessons to be learned in that too.

Thanks, this is exactly my feeling, why do children have to do something uncomfortable which provides no benefit just "because." I make her do plenty of other things she doesn't like to do because I see a benefit to them.

This would be a very valid point, if OP were homeschooling. But OP isn't. Most schools aren't set up to operate a la carte.

Well then if it’s not set up that way, the kid will fail. If the school is okay with it, they’ll let her sit out and it won’t impact her life negatively.

I have a feeling that there are a lot of moms posting here who are far more upset that a kid isn’t falling in line and that her mom isn’t forcing her to conform than the school is.

Really? You think that "Please excuse Larla from the swimming unit. She has long hair and can't learn to put on a swim cap. Also, I hope that this will not affect her grade." will go over well?

I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?

I think this is how millennials end up the way they are.

I have people at work telling me they don’t want to do parts of their job or explaining why they should get to do other more high level or fun things. I’m sorry, what? I find this mentality completely baffling. But it starts with shit like this.

I’m with the PE teacher. You complete the PE units to the best of your ability.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re making the right decision OP. If it makes her that uncomfortable and affects her for the rest of the day, it’s not worth dealing with the hassle. I don’t get why people think children should trudge through every uncomfortable thing they dislike doing because that’s how it’s always been done and they prefer not to make waves when there are easier options available. Sometimes they have to suck it up and do it, and maybe it builds character, but sometimes we don’t need to unnecessarily inconvenience ourselves and there are lessons to be learned in that too.

Thanks, this is exactly my feeling, why do children have to do something uncomfortable which provides no benefit just "because." I make her do plenty of other things she doesn't like to do because I see a benefit to them.

This would be a very valid point, if OP were homeschooling. But OP isn't. Most schools aren't set up to operate a la carte.

Well then if it’s not set up that way, the kid will fail. If the school is okay with it, they’ll let her sit out and it won’t impact her life negatively.

I have a feeling that there are a lot of moms posting here who are far more upset that a kid isn’t falling in line and that her mom isn’t forcing her to conform than the school is.

Really? You think that "Please excuse Larla from the swimming unit. She has long hair and can't learn to put on a swim cap. Also, I hope that this will not affect her grade." will go over well?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re making the right decision OP. If it makes her that uncomfortable and affects her for the rest of the day, it’s not worth dealing with the hassle. I don’t get why people think children should trudge through every uncomfortable thing they dislike doing because that’s how it’s always been done and they prefer not to make waves when there are easier options available. Sometimes they have to suck it up and do it, and maybe it builds character, but sometimes we don’t need to unnecessarily inconvenience ourselves and there are lessons to be learned in that too.

Thanks, this is exactly my feeling, why do children have to do something uncomfortable which provides no benefit just "because." I make her do plenty of other things she doesn't like to do because I see a benefit to them.

This would be a very valid point, if OP were homeschooling. But OP isn't. Most schools aren't set up to operate a la carte.

Well then if it’s not set up that way, the kid will fail. If the school is okay with it, they’ll let her sit out and it won’t impact her life negatively.

I have a feeling that there are a lot of moms posting here who are far more upset that a kid isn’t falling in line and that her mom isn’t forcing her to conform than the school is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re making the right decision OP. If it makes her that uncomfortable and affects her for the rest of the day, it’s not worth dealing with the hassle. I don’t get why people think children should trudge through every uncomfortable thing they dislike doing because that’s how it’s always been done and they prefer not to make waves when there are easier options available. Sometimes they have to suck it up and do it, and maybe it builds character, but sometimes we don’t need to unnecessarily inconvenience ourselves and there are lessons to be learned in that too.

Thanks, this is exactly my feeling, why do children have to do something uncomfortable which provides no benefit just "because." I make her do plenty of other things she doesn't like to do because I see a benefit to them.

Because there sometimes is a benefit to doing something just because. You listen to your teachers. Grades matter. You're there to work as a unit (a class) and you need to participate. You may end up learning something new. You may end up helping others who could learn form you. You can't look at the world and sit there complaining about things you don't like; sometimes it is important to change your attitude rather than changing something else. The teacher directly said he expects the kids to perform the unit to the best of their ability. She is a child. Her teacher has asked her to do an ENTIRE UNIT of study and she does not want to do it for vanity and special snowflake reasons.

All. of. this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re making the right decision OP. If it makes her that uncomfortable and affects her for the rest of the day, it’s not worth dealing with the hassle. I don’t get why people think children should trudge through every uncomfortable thing they dislike doing because that’s how it’s always been done and they prefer not to make waves when there are easier options available. Sometimes they have to suck it up and do it, and maybe it builds character, but sometimes we don’t need to unnecessarily inconvenience ourselves and there are lessons to be learned in that too.

Thanks, this is exactly my feeling, why do children have to do something uncomfortable which provides no benefit just "because." I make her do plenty of other things she doesn't like to do because I see a benefit to them.

This would be a very valid point, if OP were homeschooling. But OP isn't. Most schools aren't set up to operate a la carte.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re making the right decision OP. If it makes her that uncomfortable and affects her for the rest of the day, it’s not worth dealing with the hassle. I don’t get why people think children should trudge through every uncomfortable thing they dislike doing because that’s how it’s always been done and they prefer not to make waves when there are easier options available. Sometimes they have to suck it up and do it, and maybe it builds character, but sometimes we don’t need to unnecessarily inconvenience ourselves and there are lessons to be learned in that too.

Thanks, this is exactly my feeling, why do children have to do something uncomfortable which provides no benefit just "because." I make her do plenty of other things she doesn't like to do because I see a benefit to them.

Because there sometimes is a benefit to doing something just because. You listen to your teachers. Grades matter. You're there to work as a unit (a class) and you need to participate. You may end up learning something new. You may end up helping others who could learn form you. You can't look at the world and sit there complaining about things you don't like; sometimes it is important to change your attitude rather than changing something else. The teacher directly said he expects the kids to perform the unit to the best of their ability. She is a child. Her teacher has asked her to do an ENTIRE UNIT of study and she does not want to do it for vanity and special snowflake reasons.

Anonymous wrote:The issue isn't the swimming OP.

The issue is you're treating her like a special snowflake and other kids and parents and the teachers will notice and think you and your kid are an asshole. To keep it real.

Imagine the whole school day. There are probably dozen activities or subjects someone can name that is a waste of time and not fun for their particular kid. But the social compact is they are all going with the program.

If you came on here with a tale of a medical issue (you haven't) or she's the only one in her class with giant boobs and all the boys made fun of her for weeks after and she's seriously traumatized (you haven't), then possibly it's a different conversation.

I don't feel like it, which is pretty much what your reasons boil down to, doesn't cut it.

Yes the teacher are annoyed as I said, not sure if the kids notice (if they do, they are probably jealous if the don't like swimming and if the do like it they won't care), I highly doubt other parents notice!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are beyond ridiculous.

- her hair will be wet
- the pool is cold
- she doesn’t want to change in a bathing suit for boys to see
- swim time is only 20 min after you take away the changing clothes portion of it
- I consider it a “comfort and health issue”
- “it is a little sexist that the time allowed for children to dry off and change (10 minutes) is adequate for people with very short hair (typically boys) but not people with longer hair (which includes some girls)”
- she has a tough teacher this year
- she already can swim better than most others
- I’m okay with a lowered grade

She’s no more or less special than every other kid in her current class or those who did the class before her. You asked the teacher and the teacher was clearly not okay with it. It’s 12 sessions, at least some of which are over. She can handle this for less than a dozen more times. We’ve no doubt you’ll let her sit this out as well as many other things.

My long haired competitive swimmer swims year round. Caps done keep her hair dry. She walked out of the pool in less than ten degree weather. She lives, believe it or not.

The key difference is that your long-haired competitive swimmer WANTS to swim.

Yep, but she didn't particularly want to do the pacer or the soccer unit or the volleyball unit. Pacer made her sore for swim practice and made it difficult at the next swim meet; the soccer unit was hard because the good soccer players took over and were favored. The volleyball unit was difficult because she kept hitting her arm with the ball when serving and ending up with bruised arms. Glass is half full or glass is half empty. I'm not going to have complaining = rescuing by me anytime she whimpers.

Either teach her how to put her hair in a bun quickly for after swimming or get her hair cut to shoulder length. No swim cap
needed.

OP, just want to say I can TOTALLY relate to this post. I have thick, really frizzy hair that my mom spent a long time blow drying for me when I was growing up. I didn't have swim in school, but literally hated swimming at summer camp when my hair would have to air dry and look horrible. Even putting it in a ponytail didn't help much. I was beyond self conscious and it definitely impacted my ability to have fun. It got even worse when I was a teenager and would get invited to pool parties or the local pool. Trust me when I say that if you haven't had this issue it's traumatizing and kids are cruel. I definitely experienced laughs about my fluffy hair and distinctly remember a boy telling my friend (in front of me) that I wasn't cute when we were at the beach one day (and I know it had to do with my crazy hair).

I am not sure what the answer is here but I don't think what you're doing/asking for is crazy if it impacts your daughter in a really negative way.

Maybe you can try helping her find a hairstyle that she can do quickly after the pool to help - a bun, braid, whatever (you could send her to school with the style on swim days)?

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re making the right decision OP. If it makes her that uncomfortable and affects her for the rest of the day, it’s not worth dealing with the hassle. I don’t get why people think children should trudge through every uncomfortable thing they dislike doing because that’s how it’s always been done and they prefer not to make waves when there are easier options available. Sometimes they have to suck it up and do it, and maybe it builds character, but sometimes we don’t need to unnecessarily inconvenience ourselves and there are lessons to be learned in that too.

Thanks, this is exactly my feeling, why do children have to do something uncomfortable which provides no benefit just "because." I make her do plenty of other things she doesn't like to do because I see a benefit to them.