Anonymous
10/22/2018 17:38
Subject: Re:Do parents of popular kids ever have to suffer?
The ways I have had to "suffer" are not truly suffering. All four of my kids have cried at bedtime from the pressure of multiple kids wanting to sit with them at lunch or pair up with them for a class project, or sit with them on a field trip, or having to pick between two different birthday parties to attend. Things like that. Great problems to have, right? I probably spend more money on feeding other people's children than a parent of a loner child does. My kids have complained of other kids always wanting to copy their clothes, shoes, etc. Sure, they know "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" but sometimes they want to look like an individual.
I have had parents verbally attack me in public for not making my kids invite theirs to parties. Sometimes I don't even know who their kid is, and will quietly say, "I've never heard [DD] mention that name, I'm sorry," and they'll get loud, trying to shame me into offering an invite to a sleepover on the spot. So that's how I "suffer". But again, I can take it, and I'd much rather deal with things like that than have my kids floundering around every weekend without any plans.
I have had parents verbally attack me in public for not making my kids invite theirs to parties. Sometimes I don't even know who their kid is, and will quietly say, "I've never heard [DD] mention that name, I'm sorry," and they'll get loud, trying to shame me into offering an invite to a sleepover on the spot. So that's how I "suffer". But again, I can take it, and I'd much rather deal with things like that than have my kids floundering around every weekend without any plans.
Anonymous
10/22/2018 17:29
Subject: Do parents of popular kids ever have to suffer?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Well OP, my observation is that more parents of "popular" kids get to deal with their kids addictions to drugs or alcohol later in life. And, potentially with sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancies at higher rates than "unpopular" kids. So there is that.
Unpopular kids are drinking, vaping and having sex too.
Damn right they are! I know this first hand. OP, where are you getting your information? You either need more reliable sources, or you need to MYOB, or both. Concentrate on your own family.
Ok so please respond to every anonymous question on an anonymous forum as myob. That’s really productive. Why even answer? Just myob back at ya!
Honest question: why do you care so much what other kids are or are not doing?
One question posted in an anonymous forum that took about 22 seconds to write and post. Barely curious about real responses. I've probably started 8 other threads in multiple forums. This one is probably the least interesting. Does that answer your question?
Not at all.
Ok, let me ask you a question: Do you have kids?
I do.
I would rather not engage with your ridiculousness any further, so don't be offended if I don't further answer your interrogation and false assumptions. People are different, and that is okay. Maybe you should b more accepting of your own child.
Anonymous
10/22/2018 17:27
Subject: Do parents of popular kids ever have to suffer?
Anonymous wrote:My dc is quirky and a little dorky and never gets invited or included by kids at school despite hosting endless playdates and parties. I’ve always wondered though, do the parents of the popular kids ever have to suffer? They seem to reap benefit after benefit. Endless invitations, sycophants kissing up to get in their inner circles, preferential treatment at the school and sports, the list goes on. Honest question- what are their grievances?
OP, what is so bad about being quirky/dorky? So many famous people and their industry changing ideas have stemmed from being different. Why would an adult want to be the same as everyone else, or be telling their child that is what is important? If you had to answer honestly, would you say that you are thinking about this maybe a lot more than your child is? Why do you want to force your child to be someone they are not? Why would you want to force a square peg in a round hole? Seriously wondering, based on experience.
Anonymous
10/22/2018 17:21
Subject: Do parents of popular kids ever have to suffer?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Well OP, my observation is that more parents of "popular" kids get to deal with their kids addictions to drugs or alcohol later in life. And, potentially with sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancies at higher rates than "unpopular" kids. So there is that.
Unpopular kids are drinking, vaping and having sex too.
Damn right they are! I know this first hand. OP, where are you getting your information? You either need more reliable sources, or you need to MYOB, or both. Concentrate on your own family.
Ok so please respond to every anonymous question on an anonymous forum as myob. That’s really productive. Why even answer? Just myob back at ya!
Honest question: why do you care so much what other kids are or are not doing?
One question posted in an anonymous forum that took about 22 seconds to write and post. Barely curious about real responses. I've probably started 8 other threads in multiple forums. This one is probably the least interesting. Does that answer your question?
Not at all.
Ok, let me ask you a question: Do you have kids?
Anonymous
10/22/2018 17:18
Subject: Do parents of popular kids ever have to suffer?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Well OP, my observation is that more parents of "popular" kids get to deal with their kids addictions to drugs or alcohol later in life. And, potentially with sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancies at higher rates than "unpopular" kids. So there is that.
Unpopular kids are drinking, vaping and having sex too.
Damn right they are! I know this first hand. OP, where are you getting your information? You either need more reliable sources, or you need to MYOB, or both. Concentrate on your own family.
Ok so please respond to every anonymous question on an anonymous forum as myob. That’s really productive. Why even answer? Just myob back at ya!
Honest question: why do you care so much what other kids are or are not doing?
One question posted in an anonymous forum that took about 22 seconds to write and post. Barely curious about real responses. I've probably started 8 other threads in multiple forums. This one is probably the least interesting. Does that answer your question?
Not at all.
Anonymous
10/22/2018 17:17
Subject: Do parents of popular kids ever have to suffer?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Well OP, my observation is that more parents of "popular" kids get to deal with their kids addictions to drugs or alcohol later in life. And, potentially with sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancies at higher rates than "unpopular" kids. So there is that.
Unpopular kids are drinking, vaping and having sex too.
Damn right they are! I know this first hand. OP, where are you getting your information? You either need more reliable sources, or you need to MYOB, or both. Concentrate on your own family.
Ok so please respond to every anonymous question on an anonymous forum as myob. That’s really productive. Why even answer? Just myob back at ya!
Honest question: why do you care so much what other kids are or are not doing?
One question posted in an anonymous forum that took about 22 seconds to write and post. Barely curious about real responses. I've probably started 8 other threads in multiple forums. This one is probably the least interesting. Does that answer your question?
Anonymous
10/22/2018 17:14
Subject: Do parents of popular kids ever have to suffer?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Seriously? Everyone has their cross to bear in life. Why are you wasting your time being jealous of other parents?
Does everyone have a cross to bear?
From my experience living in multiple countries I can deduct that a small percentage are very lucky, a small percentage are very unlucky. However, in the developed world (I have lived in many European countries), I can say the it's tough to be unlucky in the USA.
DP here. Point taken, and true - however most Americans have zero idea how lucky they are. Still, OP's point makes OP sounds naive, ungrateful, very unrealistic, argumentative and looking for trouble. OP seems very, very fixed upon pointing fingers, in a rather unhealthy way. OP, one who is looking for trouble, will most often find it - and not usually how they anticipated. Your attitude and lack of perspective is going to be a problem for your child, if not already.
Anonymous
10/22/2018 17:11
Subject: Do parents of popular kids ever have to suffer?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I see some "popular" kids at my kids school and I thank god they are not my kids. In the same way all the "popular" kids in my HS were frankly, assholes. They weren't just assholes to everyone else either - but also to each other. And they all peaked in HS never to be heard from again.
Thankfully.
I think this is a fable.
+1
Way to be judgy and stereotype. No wonder - I would not let my kid hang around with kids who have parents who are so awful, popular or not. Look at your behavior! Wow.
What did I miss? what behavior, calling "popular" kids assholes? you seriously need a thicker skin.
You keep deflecting, and clearly it is NOT working for you.
Says the popular kid who cannot answer a direct question.
I was not popular, nor did I carry a chip on my shoulder. This is what you should b teaching your child. Do not give them your cross to bear.
Anonymous
10/22/2018 17:09
Subject: Do parents of popular kids ever have to suffer?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Seriously? Everyone has their cross to bear in life. Why are you wasting your time being jealous of other parents?
Does everyone have a cross to bear?
From my experience living in multiple countries I can deduct that a small percentage are very lucky, a small percentage are very unlucky. However, in the developed world (I have lived in many European countries), I can say the it's tough to be unlucky in the USA.
Anonymous
10/22/2018 17:05
Subject: Do parents of popular kids ever have to suffer?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I see some "popular" kids at my kids school and I thank god they are not my kids. In the same way all the "popular" kids in my HS were frankly, assholes. They weren't just assholes to everyone else either - but also to each other. And they all peaked in HS never to be heard from again.
Thankfully.
I think this is a fable.
+1
Way to be judgy and stereotype. No wonder - I would not let my kid hang around with kids who have parents who are so awful, popular or not. Look at your behavior! Wow.
What did I miss? what behavior, calling "popular" kids assholes? you seriously need a thicker skin.
You keep deflecting, and clearly it is NOT working for you.
Says the popular kid who cannot answer a direct question.
Anonymous
10/22/2018 17:05
Subject: Do parents of popular kids ever have to suffer?
Most people stay in touch with their college friends, not their high school friends as much, PP. Don't hyper focus on high school. Even worse, if you had a bad high school experience, don't over react on your child's behalf. I know people who had a negative high school experience, and they try so hard, thinking they are "protecting" their children, but they are not. Our children are more capable than we give them credit for. Most importantly, often times issues (such as attending homecoming) are a much, much, much bigger deal to the mom.
OP, are you the same OP as the homecoming thread written today? If so, try not to fixate so much. Sometimes meds help. I am telling you this not to "be mean", but know that sometimes people disagree with you, but you can't control everyone, and that is okay. Ultimately, things happen for the best. Learn and practice gratitude, it helps. You are not in it alone, everyone has something going on. Truly.
OP, are you the same OP as the homecoming thread written today? If so, try not to fixate so much. Sometimes meds help. I am telling you this not to "be mean", but know that sometimes people disagree with you, but you can't control everyone, and that is okay. Ultimately, things happen for the best. Learn and practice gratitude, it helps. You are not in it alone, everyone has something going on. Truly.
Anonymous
10/22/2018 16:31
Subject: Do parents of popular kids ever have to suffer?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Parent of 2 kids here-
my DS(college freshman) is has a ton of friends, always is invited places, has kids to our house, etc. when he's home. We don't worry about him
my DD (senior in h.s.) has become very introverted, stays home on weekends, doesn't go to hoco, prom, etc. She is very sweet, bright and good looking, but she doesn't seem to make friends. She has been in sports and clubs and has made friends but the friendships fizzle for some reason. I do worry about her much more than I do my DS. It pains me to see all the hoco pics out (I don't look at FB often) because I don't understand why she isn't participating. I could care less about her being popular, I just wish she'd have a group of friends.
I was your DD. Turned out just fine. HS is a cesspool of a-holes. In my experience, people who were super popular in HS and had extremely busy social lives have a hard time moving on from HS, with varying degrees of career success (see Kavanaugh and our class alpha bitch who barely has a career, became very unattractive once the veil of youth disappeared, and from what I understand has quite a boring life, never having grown at all as a person).
Also, I might add that my parents had very few friendships. And all of them were from their college, early 20s days. They never made friends during my lifetime. I dont' know if that was why I never quite learned how to pursue friendships, but it might be worth modeling some of this or talking about it if you are the same way.
Poster of the 2 different kids here- thanks for the encouragement that DD will do fine once she goes to college. My fingers are crossed. She has made friends during sleep away camp where she knows no one, so I'm hoping college has the same result. As far as DH and I go, we are quite social and do have friends over, go to others, have always done family activities, etc. so DD has been exposed to and included in our social events. She is engaging when we are in family social situations.
Anonymous
10/22/2018 16:23
Subject: Do parents of popular kids ever have to suffer?
None of the popular kids in my high school peaked in HS, and generally everyone became much kinder as we aged, because teenagers can be assholes (late 90s).
I can only think of four people who peaked in HS:
-Two have special needs, both apparent, but probably untreated at the time
- One had kids way too young, but is still married to her HS sweetheart, and from what I can tell, they live a nice life in our home town
- One spent 15 years being an addict. According to our mutual friend, he is now clean, but it really was no surprise to hear he took that route.
I can only think of four people who peaked in HS:
-Two have special needs, both apparent, but probably untreated at the time
- One had kids way too young, but is still married to her HS sweetheart, and from what I can tell, they live a nice life in our home town
- One spent 15 years being an addict. According to our mutual friend, he is now clean, but it really was no surprise to hear he took that route.
Anonymous
10/22/2018 16:17
Subject: Re:Do parents of popular kids ever have to suffer?
Anonymous wrote:I have one of those children.
I also have a child who died as an infant.
I also have a child on the spectrum.
So yes. We have upsetting parenting moments.
+1
Every single parent has something going on. I don’t try to make my issues their issues.....because they are not.
Anonymous
10/22/2018 16:15
Subject: Do parents of popular kids ever have to suffer?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I see some "popular" kids at my kids school and I thank god they are not my kids. In the same way all the "popular" kids in my HS were frankly, assholes. They weren't just assholes to everyone else either - but also to each other. And they all peaked in HS never to be heard from again.
Thankfully.
I think this is a fable.
+1
Way to be judgy and stereotype. No wonder - I would not let my kid hang around with kids who have parents who are so awful, popular or not. Look at your behavior! Wow.
What did I miss? what behavior, calling "popular" kids assholes? you seriously need a thicker skin.
You keep deflecting, and clearly it is NOT working for you.