he’s still working. And if they are like me, their net worth is tied up with their home and retirement accounts- not accessible Monty in the short term. Frankly I don’t believe she should be forced to sell her home and while he is still working she gets alimony.

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend going through a divirce. She is almost 60-one child still underage and living at home. She has been married for over 30 years. Quit work over 20 years ago when they started a family as husband worked insanely long hours in Big Law—as husband wanted her to do. It worked best fir the family and for his career fir her to remain home throughout the years. Now she is pushing 60, no job prospects, no marketable skills—she damn well deserves alimony. He benefited from few responsibilities at home and liked it that way. Fortunately, he agrees and will do the right thing by this woman he is throwing away because he wants to feel young again.

How in the world does a 60 yo woman have an underage child?! And how could this child be so young and needy as to prevent her from working? If she has more than 50% custody, she would be getting child support and she should go get damned job. Being a SAHM is a benefit of marriage: that ends when the marriage ends.

At 60, she (and her ex-husband both) should be nearing retirement..... when both would live off their retirement assets... that were already split 50/50 upon divorce. In other words, neither one would have any income, neither would deserve (or be able to pay) alimony, both are living off their retirement...and they have equal retirement.

As to all those benefits he received while they were married: why do you think he should provide ongoing benefits to her (alimony) while she has ceased providing any benefits to him?

If (if) any alimony is deserved, the law should require her to work an equal number of hours per week as her alimony-paying ex-husband. Oh and the day she retires from work, he too can retire (and stop paying alimony). Anything else would be totally unfair to him.

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend going through a divirce. She is almost 60-one child still underage and living at home. She has been married for over 30 years. Quit work over 20 years ago when they started a family as husband worked insanely long hours in Big Law—as husband wanted her to do. It worked best fir the family and for his career fir her to remain home throughout the years. Now she is pushing 60, no job prospects, no marketable skills—she damn well deserves alimony. He benefited from few responsibilities at home and liked it that way. Fortunately, he agrees and will do the right thing by this woman he is throwing away because he wants to feel young again.

Basically, he worked his butt off for years, while she was semi-retired. Don't they have assets? Isn't she already getting half of them?

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get the pride thing.

Were you too proud to take maternity leave?
Too proud to take that mortgage deduction?
Too proud to claim your child tax credit?

Alimony is no different, to me.

Alimony protects women. And until the day that being a single mom means you earn and have more- or even equal- to a single dad or two family home- I’m okay with it. It’s not like alimony is making women rich.

The man is as complicit as the woman. Where was his pride when he took advantage of his wife’s free labor, built his career, and moved along?

The things you cite were paid into by the person who benefited. Your analogy makes no sense.

Men don't earn 99 percent of the income in America, but they do pay 99 percent of the alimony.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If she is getting $156K after tax from her ex, he is making significant money. For 23 years, do you think she did nothing to contribute to his financial success at work?

Yes, I do. Did she do any of the actual work? No, she didn't.

News flash: women do not have golden vaginas. You don't deserve money for spreading your legs.

And, who took care of the kids, managed the house, did the shopping, entertaining and all that so he could work and make that money. It isn't after taxes. Usually the person receiving the alimony pays the tax and the person paying it gets a deduction.

Come on. “Shopping and entertaining “? This is a weak argument.

I have a friend going through a divirce. She is almost 60-one child still underage and living at home. She has been married for over 30 years. Quit work over 20 years ago when they started a family as husband worked insanely long hours in Big Law—as husband wanted her to do. It worked best fir the family and for his career fir her to remain home throughout the years. Now she is pushing 60, no job prospects, no marketable skills—she damn well deserves alimony. He benefited from few responsibilities at home and liked it that way. Fortunately, he agrees and will do the right thing by this woman he is throwing away because he wants to feel young again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here and I agree that alimony is ridiculous. There's no reason any person on God's green earth shouldn't be able to support themselves once divorced.

My ex BIL insisted that my sister quit her job when they got married. She has only a HS diploma and was a receptionist; he has an MBA From an Ivy and his career in investment banking was just taking off. The first 8 years of their marriage no kids. My sister spent a significant amount of time entertaining his business associates and holding down the fort while he’d be gone weeks at a time traveling internationally for work. The second 8 years they had two kids, both with autism, one of whom will probably never be able to live on own. In addition to continuing what she did the first 8 years, she spent/spends much her day taking their two kids to their various therapies. He had a long term affair and filed for divorce. My sister damn well deserves and should get alimony. The most she can work is a few hours at pretty much a minimum wage job during the school day while the kids are at school and the weekends they’re with their dad. Meanwhile he now earns $5M a year, still travels a lot and has little time for his special needs kids.

This is a situation where obviously she should get life long alimony. My husband's ex cheated on him, left him for the affair partner (moved out one day while he was at work cross-country taking the kids). In her case, she should have gotten child support only as she made the choice to move to her boyfriend and let him support her (which he did by default not paying his child support and letting his kids suffer - his ex also had a SN child). I think it really depends on the situation.

Not really. This is a situation where obviously she should get temporary alimony so that she can go back to school, finish her degree, start a career that earns much more than her part time minimum wage job. Oh and ovbviously a good amount of child support, which reflects her having most of the custody.

She had custody as she stole the kid. She had no interest in school or bettering herself or allowing my husband to while married. If he had to work crappy jobs while she had free time to cheat, then why should she be rewarded.

In pp situation she deserves it and more. You clearly never have been cheated on and your family destroyed or you were the one cheating and didn’t care who you hurt. This poster has SN kids She could not work.

. Don’t marry a man with baggage if it is going to cause you this much resentment—and you know you don’t know all of the ins and outs of their marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here and I agree that alimony is ridiculous. There's no reason any person on God's green earth shouldn't be able to support themselves once divorced.

My ex BIL insisted that my sister quit her job when they got married. She has only a HS diploma and was a receptionist; he has an MBA From an Ivy and his career in investment banking was just taking off. The first 8 years of their marriage no kids. My sister spent a significant amount of time entertaining his business associates and holding down the fort while he’d be gone weeks at a time traveling internationally for work. The second 8 years they had two kids, both with autism, one of whom will probably never be able to live on own. In addition to continuing what she did the first 8 years, she spent/spends much her day taking their two kids to their various therapies. He had a long term affair and filed for divorce. My sister damn well deserves and should get alimony. The most she can work is a few hours at pretty much a minimum wage job during the school day while the kids are at school and the weekends they’re with their dad. Meanwhile he now earns $5M a year, still travels a lot and has little time for his special needs kids.

This is a situation where obviously she should get life long alimony. My husband's ex cheated on him, left him for the affair partner (moved out one day while he was at work cross-country taking the kids). In her case, she should have gotten child support only as she made the choice to move to her boyfriend and let him support her (which he did by default not paying his child support and letting his kids suffer - his ex also had a SN child). I think it really depends on the situation.

Not really. This is a situation where obviously she should get temporary alimony so that she can go back to school, finish her degree, start a career that earns much more than her part time minimum wage job. Oh and ovbviously a good amount of child support, which reflects her having most of the custody.

She had custody as she stole the kid. She had no interest in school or bettering herself or allowing my husband to while married. If he had to work crappy jobs while she had free time to cheat, then why should she be rewarded.

In pp situation she deserves it and more. You clearly never have been cheated on and your family destroyed or you were the one cheating and didn’t care who you hurt. This poster has SN kids She could not work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here and I agree that alimony is ridiculous. There's no reason any person on God's green earth shouldn't be able to support themselves once divorced.

My ex BIL insisted that my sister quit her job when they got married. She has only a HS diploma and was a receptionist; he has an MBA From an Ivy and his career in investment banking was just taking off. The first 8 years of their marriage no kids. My sister spent a significant amount of time entertaining his business associates and holding down the fort while he’d be gone weeks at a time traveling internationally for work. The second 8 years they had two kids, both with autism, one of whom will probably never be able to live on own. In addition to continuing what she did the first 8 years, she spent/spends much her day taking their two kids to their various therapies. He had a long term affair and filed for divorce. My sister damn well deserves and should get alimony. The most she can work is a few hours at pretty much a minimum wage job during the school day while the kids are at school and the weekends they’re with their dad. Meanwhile he now earns $5M a year, still travels a lot and has little time for his special needs kids.

This is a situation where obviously she should get life long alimony. My husband's ex cheated on him, left him for the affair partner (moved out one day while he was at work cross-country taking the kids). In her case, she should have gotten child support only as she made the choice to move to her boyfriend and let him support her (which he did by default not paying his child support and letting his kids suffer - his ex also had a SN child). I think it really depends on the situation.

Not really. This is a situation where obviously she should get temporary alimony so that she can go back to school, finish her degree, start a career that earns much more than her part time minimum wage job. Oh and ovbviously a good amount of child support, which reflects her having most of the custody.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You don’t think nourishing and growing life, and bringing it into this word contribute to something? I know damn well a mans body doesn’t go through that.

So what? Any idiot can have a baby.

Any idiot with a uterus, you mean.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t you women receiving alimony embarrassed to be accepting money from an ex? It’s pathetic to me to be reliant on a man who you’re not even with to get by. I’m a woman, too, and I’d rather starve than accept thousands of dollars a month from a dude I’m not even with. I’d never tell anyone that I was getting money from him.

Okay, second wife. We get it. You resent her and the money.

Not at all. Married once, still with same person. It’s single when we met. But whatever makes you feel better!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here and I agree that alimony is ridiculous. There's no reason any person on God's green earth shouldn't be able to support themselves once divorced.

My ex BIL insisted that my sister quit her job when they got married. She has only a HS diploma and was a receptionist; he has an MBA From an Ivy and his career in investment banking was just taking off. The first 8 years of their marriage no kids. My sister spent a significant amount of time entertaining his business associates and holding down the fort while he’d be gone weeks at a time traveling internationally for work. The second 8 years they had two kids, both with autism, one of whom will probably never be able to live on own. In addition to continuing what she did the first 8 years, she spent/spends much her day taking their two kids to their various therapies. He had a long term affair and filed for divorce. My sister damn well deserves and should get alimony. The most she can work is a few hours at pretty much a minimum wage job during the school day while the kids are at school and the weekends they’re with their dad. Meanwhile he now earns $5M a year, still travels a lot and has little time for his special needs kids.

This is a situation where obviously she should get life long alimony. My husband's ex cheated on him, left him for the affair partner (moved out one day while he was at work cross-country taking the kids). In her case, she should have gotten child support only as she made the choice to move to her boyfriend and let him support her (which he did by default not paying his child support and letting his kids suffer - his ex also had a SN child). I think it really depends on the situation.

I don’t get the pride thing.

Were you too proud to take maternity leave?
Too proud to take that mortgage deduction?
Too proud to claim your child tax credit?

Alimony is no different, to me.

Alimony protects women. And until the day that being a single mom means you earn and have more- or even equal- to a single dad or two family home- I’m okay with it. It’s not like alimony is making women rich.

The man is as complicit as the woman. Where was his pride when he took advantage of his wife’s free labor, built his career, and moved along?

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t you women receiving alimony embarrassed to be accepting money from an ex? It’s pathetic to me to be reliant on a man who you’re not even with to get by. I’m a woman, too, and I’d rather starve than accept thousands of dollars a month from a dude I’m not even with. I’d never tell anyone that I was getting money from him.

You may rather starve, but would your kids?