Anonymous wrote:The real reason is the nausea.

I was nauseated before I tested positive - although I’m no stranger to nausea due to Crohns, the idea of flying to the UK and doing lots of movement, (driving, ferries, etc) terrifies me. I’m ok dealing the nausea at home in my own environment, but dealing with it on a plane with 100+ people watching sounds and feels uncomfortable.

I’m also afraid of something happening overseas, like a miscarriage.

DH didn’t really understand how crappy I felt, and I felt a little slighted by that. I guess I felt like I had no choice BUT to go.

I realize I sound whiny.

You don't sound whiny at all to me-just realistic and honest. This is the PP at 21:19-I think you should honor your feelings and not go on the trip. Your DH needs to be more empathetic. I'm sure if he was pregnant and had Crohn's his mentality would be totally different.

I can't believe how hard people on this thread have been towards OP. I don't have kids and haven't been pregnant but have had friends and family that have struggled with nausea and fatigue during pregnancy so I've heard plenty about it. I can't imagine wanting to travel when you feel tired and nauseated the majority of the time plus there's having Crohn's on top of being pregnant-sounds like a rough combination of factors. OP's friends will be fine if they go own their own or if OP's husband joins them. The people that are saying that OP is being selfish are completely out of line. I think that it would actually be more selfish for OP to go and be sick and miserable when the others are trying to have fun.

OP, take care of yourself and don't let what the unempathetic people on this site say influence you. This is travel for fun-not for work. There's no reason to go unless it's something you want to do. Your DH and friends will get over it. If I were a member of the couple going on the trip I would quite frankly rather you rested and stayed home. Your health and well being should be top priority right now. Not to be dramatic, but what if you reluctantly go and then have a miscarriage while your away? Miscarriages this early in a pregnancy aren't uncommon and dealing with that while on a trip would really suck.

Take care of yourself OP! Don't go unless you want to. Man, this can be a tough site...not a lot of kindness or empathy here sometimes.

Knowing how I felt in the first trimester, there would be no way I'd be going to Europe. I could barely drive myself anywhere without feeling like I needed to throw up, much less on a plane, train or cab. I would have been miserable and would much rather have my husband go with our friends than for me to go and be miserable and put a damper on everyone's vacation. OP knows OP. If OP thinks she can't handle it well, then there's no shame in canceling her ticket. It's a trip---things happen. I also have Crohn's and have had to not go on trips I had planned due to a flare. That's life.

Why did you get pregnant when you had this trip planned?

It sounds like your personality is fairly high maintenance and complaining is status quo for you. This is likely why husband isn't as supportive - he doesn't see a significant difference from before you were pregnant. He also sees you are able to go to work and live your normal life when you want/need to.
Maybe you have still done other things - meet up with friends, go shopping etc. He sees that the only thing you don't want is this trip.

I am guessing these are his friends, not yours and you would rather not travel with them pregnant or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m supposed to leave for Europe on Sunday, we have a 12 day trip planned with another couple.

I just found out I’m pregnant 2 weeks ago and morning sickness and fatigue have already hit. I have no desire to travel around Europe right now. DH keeps telling me “it will be fine” but frankly, he’s not the one with constant nausea and feeling like crap.

I told DH we should either go when I’m in my second trimester and some of the nausea has subsided and I can enjoy the trip more, but he still wants to go. I don’t. Everyone keeps telling me to go, but I just don’t want to. The trip is going to take up all my accrued leave and I now want to save that leave for the pregnancy, considering I’ve only been at my job 10 months and am not eligible for FMLA yet.

I’m moreso pissed that DH is being unsupportive about me not wanting to go. I understand his reasoning for feeling upset, but I feel like crap ALL the time.

If you've been at your job for 10 months, you'll be eligible for FMLA by the time you give birth. I felt crappy during my first (and most of the second) trimester, so I get it, but a 12 day trip must have been already paid for, right? That's a lot of money and you've both already put in for leave -- I think you should suck it up.

The flights were $1000 and we would be eligible for flight credit if we cancelled. We’ve booked a hotel for only 3 nights so far.

I see your reasoning, I just feel so miserable and nauseous and have no idea how I could travel and enjoy it at this point.

With that attitude you likely won't. Talk to your Dr about solutions to help you feel better/more energetic. Think about it as taking your child to Europe for free. Go and have fun. You can do it if you have the correct mental state.

I traveled up to 36 weeks, with a toddler at home...and I say it doesn't matter what DCUM thinks, make your choice and own the consequences, either way. Since you are trying to rally, u hope you feel great and it's worth it. I also hope you and DH can start to work together.good luck!

Anonymous wrote:and one more thing... In regards to the argument that the rest of pregnancy and Parenthood is much harder, so suck it up now: nope. Sorry. Not buying that angle

I think it is better to rest and take care of yourself when you can, because those opportunities are so few and far between later when it does in truth get harder.. So skip the vacation if it makes you miserable and screw these harpies.

+1,000

Anonymous wrote:You and your husband are a team, and this is the beginning of your long parenting adventure. Does he have your back? If so, I would try to go and think of this as a leap into the unknown you take together. Are you going to have to barf in a strange place? Maybe. Will he hold your bag/barf bag and get you a glass of water and make you laugh? Or will he roll his eyes and mutter angrily that you're embarrassing him? Will he be okay with heading out alone if you decide to skip sightseeing and nap in the hotel room instead? Even if you spend the entire time barfing, time will turn it into a funny and unforgettable memory that you can share with your child. Our kids love hearing about what we did before them and while I was pregnant.

Life is short; I always say go for it.

This.

Dudette, this is the BEST time to travel.

I mean you won't do it when you're a balloon from 3 months - 7 months. A babymoon at 8 month is more about sleeping. Then its 6 months locked in the house with the newborn.

Quit complaining.

Go, and get over yourself. You are REALLY early, too early for hormones to make you sick. Most people don't know they're pregnant yet. Jesus. It's probably the vitamin, and probably a lot of it is in your head. You are annoying.

wait, i think you using MS has a bunch of people thinking you meant MS as in MS, not morning sickness....

You and your husband are a team, and this is the beginning of your long parenting adventure. Does he have your back? If so, I would try to go and think of this as a leap into the unknown you take together. Are you going to have to barf in a strange place? Maybe. Will he hold your bag/barf bag and get you a glass of water and make you laugh? Or will he roll his eyes and mutter angrily that you're embarrassing him? Will he be okay with heading out alone if you decide to skip sightseeing and nap in the hotel room instead? Even if you spend the entire time barfing, time will turn it into a funny and unforgettable memory that you can share with your child. Our kids love hearing about what we did before them and while I was pregnant.

Life is short; I always say go for it.

The real reason is the nausea.

I was nauseated before I tested positive - although I’m no stranger to nausea due to Crohns, the idea of flying to the UK and doing lots of movement, (driving, ferries, etc) terrifies me. I’m ok dealing the nausea at home in my own environment, but dealing with it on a plane with 100+ people watching sounds and feels uncomfortable.

I’m also afraid of something happening overseas, like a miscarriage.

DH didn’t really understand how crappy I felt, and I felt a little slighted by that. I guess I felt like I had no choice BUT to go.

I realize I sound whiny.

OP whatS the REAL reason you don’t want to go? No leave, don’t like the friends? Some kind of waiting for this baby (evidenced that you knew at 4 weeks and are already on meds?)