Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the Bronx and slept on living room floor with brother as no bedroom. Six of us in small dump no AC and crack heads in hallway. Alcoholic Dad quick with the belt with an 8th grade education.

I have three houses, three cars, big office and my kids think I made it up. And yes spending money makes me sick sometimes I don't enjoy it

Damn, that’s awesome. Congrats. How’d you make it out and manage to succeed at that level? Very cool.

Pretty much my whole life. I live in a house worth half a million dollars. In my hometown, where my parents still live, you couldn't buy a house for more than $250k, and that is the brick mansion with swimming pool, tennis court, and 25+ acres. My parents hope when they sell to get $100k for theirs and talk about how they could never have dreamed of having a house worth $100k.
Paying someone to clean my house and mow my lawn is beyond their comprehension.
Going out to eat on a pretty regular basis. As a kid we ate out once a year, on the way to the beach, at a diner, that my grandparents paid for.
Going to movies, going on trips.

I am ashamed to tell my parents and grandparents that I pay someone else to clean my house frequently. THey talk about how clean my house is at family gatherings and I just smile and thank them. It's not like my family's homes were dirty at all, but we had many kids and no professional cleaners.

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Anonymous wrote:We weren’t totally poor but lived paycheck to paycheck and had little left for non-essentials. The biggest thing that shocks me now is travel. We never traveled as a kid, and the rare times we did it was in the car and to the Comfort Inn. My kids are in ES and have no concept of what it’s like to not travel regularly by air. It bothers me - they are nice kids but don’t know how fortunate they are. We tell them, but they don’t “get it.”

There is a way to control this. Skip a vacation or 2 just bc. On 1 vacation stay at a Hampton Inn instead of your usual 5 star. Take a road trip or 2. That shows that travel isn't a requirement and fancy travel is a luxury. But let me guess you can't do this bc YOU don't want to be inconvenienced or slumming it -- so instead you're just lecture your kids and hope they get it which 99.9% of the time, they don't.

I agree with this. We take our kid on very nice European vacations, but we also take road trips where we stay in random dump hotels and eat at roadside cafes and barbecue joints. First, I want my kid to see all of America, and second, I don't want him to think he's too good for that. I want him to be comfortable with people from all walks of life. It amuses me how many people on this board are so adamant that their kid be exposed to "diversity," but that really just means they know rich people of many different ethnicities.

Ah yes. Guilty conscience tourism. That will teach kids how to be grateful. Not. Staying at a Hampton inn or eating at a roadside BBQ is not teaching your kid anything about how the other half lives. And visiting a place you can leave is not diversity either.

Everybody needs to do what they need to do, but don't kid yourself you're any better than the people you're chiding because you're not

I'd agree with this. You are either poor or you're not. "Slumming it" on vacation at the Hampton Inn (really, btw?) is not going to change their perception. Being raised poor is 24/7 not something that can be taught.

Yes, going on regular vacations, whether you are "slumming it" or not, means, that you are not poor.

Just having and being able to run the AC is a big deal to me. I spent hours of my summers parked in front of a 10 year old box fan.

I grew up in the Bronx and slept on living room floor with brother as no bedroom. Six of us in small dump no AC and crack heads in hallway. Alcoholic Dad quick with the belt with an 8th grade education.

I have three houses, three cars, big office and my kids think I made it up. And yes spending money makes me sick sometimes I don't enjoy it

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Anonymous wrote:We weren’t totally poor but lived paycheck to paycheck and had little left for non-essentials. The biggest thing that shocks me now is travel. We never traveled as a kid, and the rare times we did it was in the car and to the Comfort Inn. My kids are in ES and have no concept of what it’s like to not travel regularly by air. It bothers me - they are nice kids but don’t know how fortunate they are. We tell them, but they don’t “get it.”

There is a way to control this. Skip a vacation or 2 just bc. On 1 vacation stay at a Hampton Inn instead of your usual 5 star. Take a road trip or 2. That shows that travel isn't a requirement and fancy travel is a luxury. But let me guess you can't do this bc YOU don't want to be inconvenienced or slumming it -- so instead you're just lecture your kids and hope they get it which 99.9% of the time, they don't.

I agree with this. We take our kid on very nice European vacations, but we also take road trips where we stay in random dump hotels and eat at roadside cafes and barbecue joints. First, I want my kid to see all of America, and second, I don't want him to think he's too good for that. I want him to be comfortable with people from all walks of life. It amuses me how many people on this board are so adamant that their kid be exposed to "diversity," but that really just means they know rich people of many different ethnicities.

Ah yes. Guilty conscience tourism. That will teach kids how to be grateful. Not. Staying at a Hampton inn or eating at a roadside BBQ is not teaching your kid anything about how the other half lives. And visiting a place you can leave is not diversity either.

Everybody needs to do what they need to do, but don't kid yourself you're any better than the people you're chiding because you're not

Nah. Because it's not "tourism." It's living. This isn't lady bountiful visiting the "natives" -- these are our people. Having money doesn't change that.

Oh, and I meant to add that it's very telling that a "Hampton Inn" is your idea of a dump.

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Anonymous wrote:We weren’t totally poor but lived paycheck to paycheck and had little left for non-essentials. The biggest thing that shocks me now is travel. We never traveled as a kid, and the rare times we did it was in the car and to the Comfort Inn. My kids are in ES and have no concept of what it’s like to not travel regularly by air. It bothers me - they are nice kids but don’t know how fortunate they are. We tell them, but they don’t “get it.”

There is a way to control this. Skip a vacation or 2 just bc. On 1 vacation stay at a Hampton Inn instead of your usual 5 star. Take a road trip or 2. That shows that travel isn't a requirement and fancy travel is a luxury. But let me guess you can't do this bc YOU don't want to be inconvenienced or slumming it -- so instead you're just lecture your kids and hope they get it which 99.9% of the time, they don't.

I agree with this. We take our kid on very nice European vacations, but we also take road trips where we stay in random dump hotels and eat at roadside cafes and barbecue joints. First, I want my kid to see all of America, and second, I don't want him to think he's too good for that. I want him to be comfortable with people from all walks of life. It amuses me how many people on this board are so adamant that their kid be exposed to "diversity," but that really just means they know rich people of many different ethnicities.

Ah yes. Guilty conscience tourism. That will teach kids how to be grateful. Not. Staying at a Hampton inn or eating at a roadside BBQ is not teaching your kid anything about how the other half lives. And visiting a place you can leave is not diversity either.

Everybody needs to do what they need to do, but don't kid yourself you're any better than the people you're chiding because you're not

Nah. Because it's not "tourism." It's living. This isn't lady bountiful visiting the "natives" -- these are our people. Having money doesn't change that.

We weren’t poor but lower-middle class for sure. Once the necessities were covered there was very little left over. We definitely buy some things that my parents would be shocked about- like local, organic milk/eggs. And some kids gear- bought a Naturepedic mattress for DC’s crib and am now getting a $500+ My Green Mattress for the twin bed. My DH specifically said “Don’t tell your parents.”

Also eating out. We never ate out unless it was a special occasion. Maybe once a month we’d order pizza if there was a coupon. Now we go out or order out for dinner once a week, and DH and I each probably eat out for lunch once a week. Not a lot compared to many but still way more than my family ever did.

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Anonymous wrote:Yes, though for me, it’s mostly labor/time-savers and vacations. I’m finally at the point that paying to have someone clean my home before a party is palatable. And I can go on vacation without calculating how many hours I need to work overtime to pay for it.

It's the labor savers that highlight how different I am from my parents. My parents would never have spent money on house cleaners, lawn mowing, grocery delivery, etc.

This is a new thing though. I grew up in an upper middle class area where most dads were CPAs, engineers, doctors, lawyers, etc and they ALL still mowed their lawn. Our house was set on 1.5 areas too and my dad was out there twice a week like clockwork. Now it seems like even middle class neighborhoods are all mowed by companies.

I agree- FIL was a physician and they certainly had/have more than enough to outsource yard work but he still knows his own lawn. Instead he wants to downsize to a house with a smaller yard so there’s less to mow (although it’s really not that big to begin with!). Whereas it seems tons of families in our pretty middle class silver spring neighborhood have mowing services.

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Anonymous wrote:Inflation and 2 parent household so it's not a good comparison

Yeah dumb thread

Not dumb for those of us who grew up really poor and are now MC or above. Some things I spend on really are mind boggling to me. I’m also aware of how my lower income students see some things that my kids (hardly spoiled) take for granted.

flowers and plants. my parents never bought cut flowers ("they die! it's like throwing money away"). also flowering plants--they usually tried to buy vegetables which we ate, and occasionally would buy me a few cheap annuals so I would stop complaining.

Anonymous wrote:As a kid, if we were fortunate to go to a movie, we would not have dreamed of asking our mom for popcorn or a drink.

Fast forward to today. When my kids go to a movie, they somehow think it's normal to buy movie-theater popcorn. I still cannot bring myself to buy popcorn at a movie theater. I can splurge on other things, but for some reason, that one is a bridge too far.

+1. LOL. My kids know that, if they ask for popcorn at a movie, mom will launch into the "when I was a kid" lecture. So they just avoid the hassle by not asking (even though we're very comfortable financially).

As a kid, if we were fortunate to go to a movie, we would not have dreamed of asking our mom for popcorn or a drink.

Fast forward to today. When my kids go to a movie, they somehow think it's normal to buy movie-theater popcorn. I still cannot bring myself to buy popcorn at a movie theater. I can splurge on other things, but for some reason, that one is a bridge too far.

Anonymous wrote:Inflation and 2 parent household so it's not a good comparison

Yeah dumb thread