Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids. MIL sends to each an outfit, a book, and a toy for each holiday for which Hallmark makes a card. This includes Thanksgiving, which apparently to her is the holiday where you are thankful not only for the things you have but also for the new things you get. MIL also brings an outfit, a book, and a toy for each child each time she visits. DS, 3, has started to greet her with "what present did you bring?" I can't be bothered to correct him.

This makes you sound a lot worse than your MIL.

Agree. She sounds lonely and like shopping for her grandkids gives her something to do.

Do the math on how much stuff that is. I feel for the PP here--in large part because the fact that she probably is lonely and needs something to do is at play here. Way better if MIL could find something more useful to do.

Useful according to who? Leave MIL alone. Shopping clearly keeps her happy. Sorry you don't deem that useful enough.

I'm the PP. I have read and occasionally contributed to the many, many threads pitting younger-generation DILs who don't particularly value the acquisition of stuff and whose kids have plenty already vs. the older-generation MILs who enjoy giving gifts and showing love by the bequeathing of stuff. It's intractable. I see both sides. But, this is a thread about slightly irritating things your ILs do and it is slightly (or perhaps VERY) irritating that she continues to inundate us with stuff that we don't want or need, after DH has asked her to tone it down, after I have asked her to tone it down, and after the older kids have very clearly showed that they are spoiled by her largesse. This is not a question of any of this being useful. It is not useful. I wind up rolling the less-recent gifts off to Goodwill (clothes), our elementary (books), and the trash (toys) after a couple weeks when they're not being used.

My in-laws eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch at the same time every single day. When visiting for a week I get really tired of a turkey sandwich for lunch every. day. at noon. But I'm always hungry so I eat it since all I had for breakfast was an english muffin with jam.

My IL's use an extraordinary amount of paper towels but will leave them on the counter "to reuse them" and it drives me bonkers.

My MIL uses the excuse "well I raised 3 boys and they all turned out perfectly fine" for everything ridiculous when it comes to parenting. She also can't hide her passive aggressiveness - anything you say to her she cocks her head to the side with this blank look and goes, "huh, interesting" in this tone that just grind my gears.

But I love them dearly!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids. MIL sends to each an outfit, a book, and a toy for each holiday for which Hallmark makes a card. This includes Thanksgiving, which apparently to her is the holiday where you are thankful not only for the things you have but also for the new things you get. MIL also brings an outfit, a book, and a toy for each child each time she visits. DS, 3, has started to greet her with "what present did you bring?" I can't be bothered to correct him.

This makes you sound a lot worse than your MIL.

Agree. She sounds lonely and like shopping for her grandkids gives her something to do.

Do the math on how much stuff that is. I feel for the PP here--in large part because the fact that she probably is lonely and needs something to do is at play here. Way better if MIL could find something more useful to do.

Useful according to who? Leave MIL alone. Shopping clearly keeps her happy. Sorry you don't deem that useful enough.

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws wake up at like 4:30am. That's not annoying - get up whenever you want. BUT... they are loud people. And the guest room is right off the kitchen, where they make coffee (loudly), feed pets (loudly), and talk (loudly), while occasionally shushing each other (loudly). For being loud.

And then they loudly exclaim, "Oh, did we wake you???" every time I finally give up on sleep and just drag myself out for caffeine.

If my SIL ever stayed at my ILs’ house, I’d think you were my SIL. This is my ILS to a t. Except they also do it in our house when visiting and then complain about our kids being grumpy and tired. Uh, yea....we’ll, maybe if they weren’t getting woken up so early they wouldn’t be grumpy!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids. MIL sends to each an outfit, a book, and a toy for each holiday for which Hallmark makes a card. This includes Thanksgiving, which apparently to her is the holiday where you are thankful not only for the things you have but also for the new things you get. MIL also brings an outfit, a book, and a toy for each child each time she visits. DS, 3, has started to greet her with "what present did you bring?" I can't be bothered to correct him.

This makes you sound a lot worse than your MIL.

Agree. She sounds lonely and like shopping for her grandkids gives her something to do.

Do the math on how much stuff that is. I feel for the PP here--in large part because the fact that she probably is lonely and needs something to do is at play here. Way better if MIL could find something more useful to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids. MIL sends to each an outfit, a book, and a toy for each holiday for which Hallmark makes a card. This includes Thanksgiving, which apparently to her is the holiday where you are thankful not only for the things you have but also for the new things you get. MIL also brings an outfit, a book, and a toy for each child each time she visits. DS, 3, has started to greet her with "what present did you bring?" I can't be bothered to correct him.

This makes you sound a lot worse than your MIL.

Agree. She sounds lonely and like shopping for her grandkids gives her something to do.

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids. MIL sends to each an outfit, a book, and a toy for each holiday for which Hallmark makes a card. This includes Thanksgiving, which apparently to her is the holiday where you are thankful not only for the things you have but also for the new things you get. MIL also brings an outfit, a book, and a toy for each child each time she visits. DS, 3, has started to greet her with "what present did you bring?" I can't be bothered to correct him.

This makes you sound a lot worse than your MIL.

FIL farts purposely in DC (grandchild) presence. Disgusting.

My in-laws wake up at like 4:30am. That's not annoying - get up whenever you want. BUT... they are loud people. And the guest room is right off the kitchen, where they make coffee (loudly), feed pets (loudly), and talk (loudly), while occasionally shushing each other (loudly). For being loud.

And then they loudly exclaim, "Oh, did we wake you???" every time I finally give up on sleep and just drag myself out for caffeine.

We have 3 kids. MIL sends to each an outfit, a book, and a toy for each holiday for which Hallmark makes a card. This includes Thanksgiving, which apparently to her is the holiday where you are thankful not only for the things you have but also for the new things you get. MIL also brings an outfit, a book, and a toy for each child each time she visits. DS, 3, has started to greet her with "what present did you bring?" I can't be bothered to correct him.

She also has hung on to FIL's handicapped parking tag, even though FIL passed away a couple years ago, and parks in handicapped spaces despite being in perfect physical condition for a mid-60s woman and in no way handicapped.

Anonymous wrote:^ My MIL also created a nursery in her house that was better outfitted Thant he baby's space at our home. Don't worry, in the end junk like this doesn't matter to the kids.

Thanks. I'm just mortified (as the mom) she had the gall to ask people for all this stuff. I'm sure some of the guests (yeah, she invited over 100 people) assume I was the greedy one, when I wasn't even invited and had zero say in it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why? She’s a grandma. Don’t come up with some silly name and expect people to gush. I don’t call my daughter “doogiedoo”. I call her, “my daughter”. That woman is “grandma”.

It's not gushing. It's respectful.

Respect is calling her “grandma” and not “Joan”. Respect is not making people call you “Mimimoomoo” because you think it sounds cute, when those who have to have it roll of their tongues feel like idiots when doing so.

^ My MIL also created a nursery in her house that was better outfitted Thant he baby's space at our home. Don't worry, in the end junk like this doesn't matter to the kids.

Anonymous wrote:She's the one who had a 50 person grandma shower fot herself when DS was born. I, the baby's child, wasn't invited. Neither was anyone in my family.

She's hoarding the grandma shower stuff in her guest bedroom.

This should say "I, the baby's mother" obviously.

But, yeah, she has all kinds of baby stuff she asked for in her guest room. But she won't let us touch it because "that's for grandma's house" and "grandma's house needs to have better toys than mommy and daddy's." She's hoarding newborn stuff and DS is 6 months.