“A woman’s work is never done”.


It was true back then and is still true today...doesn’t matter if she is a SAHM or works a full time job out of the house. I feel like it will always be true, until we all have robots that take care of household duties.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like an ass, OP. It should be 50/50 when you’re home, so yes, you need to chip in around the house. Caring for a child is more than a full time job, research backs this up.

Why should it be 50/50? He has his job and she has hers. there are plenty of women that would love to be able to just be in charge of the house.

Maybe he should have married one then.

Maybe he will and his lazy-assed current wife will have to find a job.

Dear OP, welcome to America. Your DW probably doesn't have the same support network as in your home country to help with family and household things - trust me a kid is a lot more work than you think it is. Maybe try it for a week - full kid and household duties on top. That's 2 jobs where you only have 1.

You either need to hire some form of help (cleaner once or twice a week) or chip in when you can or maybe move back to your country where there's a better support network/cheaper cost of living where you can afford help. Or else get ready for a miserable life if you guys don't divorce. She will feel constantly under-appreciated and exhausted, and her resentment will be placed on you and justifiably so.

In America, we have a saying "happy wife, happy life." Integrate. Be happy. Get your wife support and appreciate what she does.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your wife feels underappreciated. Deal with that feeling. Take her out to dinner. Order dinner in. Make dinner for her. Do SOMETHING to show you care about her feelings. This is not about who is doing more work. It's about caring.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is not saying he does not help. He is saying DW wants him to do more chores which can be difficult on a daily basis if he comes home tired from working an entire day.

He is tired from working for an entire day, while she is obviously fresh as a daisy from a day spent running around after a toddler, cleaning and straightening the house, cooking, etc, with no mental or physical time for herself. No doubt she is also the one who gets up with the kid at night and early every morning. Got it.

She can take a nap during the day.

Suuurrrrreeeee

Anonymous wrote:OP should have married someone from his home country. Or is your foreign born wife become sick of you doing nothing around the house? That would mean you really do nothing at home other than breathe.

Usually in countries where the guy does nothing at home, they still live with their extended family and his mom helps around the house with cooking and child care. In the USA, with only a SAHM, this situation where the husband does not do anything at home is untenable.

Get some paid help or get your mother to live with you, OP.

OP should have married someone from his home country. Or is your foreign born wife become sick of you doing nothing around the house? That would mean you really do nothing at home other than breathe.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is typical spoil entitled SAHM feminist stuff. They have no idea how the real world works. Tell the princess she has to get a job. All these feminists talk big as long as they do not have actually go into the work place and earn their keep. What a lazy woman.

Maybe the DH has no idea how the real world works in the home because he's always had someone doing all the dirty work for him. What makes you think the DW has never worked outside the home? Most mothers now a days have done it all - worked out of the home FT and be a FT mom at home. I think most moms know what the real world is like. Do most dads know what it's like to be a sahp 24/7, 365 day/ year?

And many women will tell OP, it’s a lot easier working outside the home and being in the company of other adults than being at home, 24/7, with young children, cooking, cleaning, etc. it’s called drudgery and never ending for a reason.

PP here.. totally agree. When we moved to a lower col area so one of us could stay home, I gave my DH the option to be that sahp and I'd be the sole breadwinner. We made about the same. He declined. It is drudgery work and thankless to boot. Dealing with kids is so very frustrating. They cannot easily be reasoned with, unlike most adults at work. You can't get a bathroom, lunch break from the kids like you can at work. Some moms I know returned to work to take a break from taking care of the kids. Working, they said, was a lot easier than being at home. And I totally agree.

Work with a bunch of h1bs and you will change your mind. I would take care of kids in an instant if I could .

Ha.. both DH and I work in IT, and DH came on an H1B, so no, I wouldn't change my mind, and neither would DH.

Are you fat ? Why? Desperate?

OP here. Jeez I haven't read through all of responses but I used to be on an H1B as well. We live in a condo so there's no maintenance required.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a SAHM. She stopped cooking this week. She keeps the house clean but does not do my laundry. The last two weekends she has taken my son away the entire day to some play place. We had a fight a few weeks ago about housework. My wife thinks I should help out more around the house. She wants me to clean the bathroom and do the dishes more. She complains that I do not clean up our sons toys. My wife knew I wasn't going to do housework when she married me. We have been married for 6 years and suddenly she expects help with housework.

WTF.

how did you paper that up? who wants to marry a pig who has no pride in their home or family enough to do housework. you deserve to live in a shitshack or you can piss away your after-tax income on housekeepers, drivers and nannies in order to be prima donna.

My BIL said he will never do laundry. His DW does all he the laundry and most housework. She is happy as a clam. Married almost 30 years. Maybe a division of duties is what it takes to preserve a marriage

ask about the Glory Days (kids age 0-9)

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a SAHM. She stopped cooking this week. She keeps the house clean but does not do my laundry. The last two weekends she has taken my son away the entire day to some play place. We had a fight a few weeks ago about housework. My wife thinks I should help out more around the house. She wants me to clean the bathroom and do the dishes more. She complains that I do not clean up our sons toys. My wife knew I wasn't going to do housework when she married me. We have been married for 6 years and suddenly she expects help with housework.

Every couple i know socially or professionally that had this set up (i.e. working husband does very little on the homefront) got divorced.

I even know strangers who are divorced that disclosed, "you know how it is with kids, wife expects to hand off the kids or home to you when you walk in the door."

Just don't get it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is not saying he does not help. He is saying DW wants him to do more chores which can be difficult on a daily basis if he comes home tired from working an entire day.

He is tired from working for an entire day, while she is obviously fresh as a daisy from a day spent running around after a toddler, cleaning and straightening the house, cooking, etc, with no mental or physical time for herself. No doubt she is also the one who gets up with the kid at night and early every morning. Got it.

She can take a nap during the day.

How is she supposed to nap when the house needs cleaning and the food needs cooking? If she is truly doing this stuff, then she has a full-time job or more. In which case they have both worked a full day when DH gets home and he can get off his ass and do his part.

It's threads like these that make me thankful that my husband and I work jobs with similar hours and similar earnings and then also split everything roughly 50-50 at home. We each took extended maternity/paternity leaves with both kids and agreed that staying home is hard from a mental perspective. Too easy for the stay at home parent to be on 24/7 while the working parent gets a break.

She wants you to wipe the toilet?

OP that is code for "you are a disgusting slop in the bathroom who somehow cannot manage to hit the water in the bowl."

Fix your aim and until then, start wiping toilets a couple of times during the week and cleaning the bowl on weekends.
Don't forget to run a clorox wipe back and forth between the bowl and the tank to get all the pee that you sprayed under/back there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a SAHM. She stopped cooking this week. She keeps the house clean but does not do my laundry. The last two weekends she has taken my son away the entire day to some play place. We had a fight a few weeks ago about housework. My wife thinks I should help out more around the house. She wants me to clean the bathroom and do the dishes more. She complains that I do not clean up our sons toys. My wife knew I wasn't going to do housework when she married me. We have been married for 6 years and suddenly she expects help with housework.

WTF.

how did you paper that up? who wants to marry a pig who has no pride in their home or family enough to do housework. you deserve to live in a shitshack or you can piss away your after-tax income on housekeepers, drivers and nannies in order to be prima donna.

My BIL said he will never do laundry. His DW does all he the laundry and most housework. She is happy as a clam. Married almost 30 years. Maybe a division of duties is what it takes to preserve a marriage

Anonymous wrote:My wife is a SAHM. She stopped cooking this week. She keeps the house clean but does not do my laundry. The last two weekends she has taken my son away the entire day to some play place. We had a fight a few weeks ago about housework. My wife thinks I should help out more around the house. She wants me to clean the bathroom and do the dishes more. She complains that I do not clean up our sons toys. My wife knew I wasn't going to do housework when she married me. We have been married for 6 years and suddenly she expects help with housework.

WTF.

how did you paper that up? who wants to marry a pig who has no pride in their home or family enough to do housework. you deserve to live in a shitshack or you can piss away your after-tax income on housekeepers, drivers and nannies in order to be prima donna.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like an ass, OP. It should be 50/50 when you’re home, so yes, you need to chip in around the house. Caring for a child is more than a full time job, research backs this up.

Why should it be 50/50? He has his job and she has hers. there are plenty of women that would love to be able to just be in charge of the house.

Maybe he should have married one then.