Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 00:35     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
DS means son.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 00:35     Subject: Re:For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
A coworker got caught when her texts to AP were found by the other woman. The AP and OW were friends of coworker and her DH. The OW went to coworker's house and beat the tar out of her. Put her in the hospital. Another time, the same coworker got caught when the guy she was sending nude pics to showed his DW. I'm sure they weren't sent out of the blue, but apparently he had a crisis of conscience. Again, it was a couple they WERE friends with until the OW found out. Coworker is a beautiful, but deeply troubled Narcissist.


PP here who posted the coworker story above. Sorry for confusion and sorry to disappoint. Coworker is a woman and the other woman (OW) was her AP's wife who discovered the texts, and throws a mean punch too, as it turns out. I learned about all of the above during my own brief EAP with coworker. While she's incredibly attractive, I couldn't deal with the Narcissistic abuse.


A wife is not an other women.

The cheater co worker is the other woman.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 00:16     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering how some of you were caught, and how your partner handled it. We're you mad they caught you?

Did they use GPS, software on your phone, or follow you? Did they hire a PI, or have a friend follow you? Voice activated recorder?

I've had acquaintances on both ends over the years, but I'm thinking with technology it must be harder to get away with it for very long.



The wife of ex DH's BF was at a work function in a hotel restaurant and saw me and AP walking through a hotel lobby and snapped a pic of us getting on the elevator. She sent it to BF who sent it to DH. By the time we finished and I came downstairs, DH was in the lobby and had called or texted about 20 times. I saw him first and ducked out the back fire door before he saw me. He texted me the pic, said it was over and that I needed to be gone before he got home. Yea, he was mad.


Does anyone think women are more likely to be tattle-tales than men? DH told me that that his friends would have affairs known to the rest of them buddies and when I asked, "No one ratted So-and-So out?" he says no...Curious to know what pple think.


cheaters hang around other cheaters. remember that.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 23:52     Subject: Re:For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Golf guy here. I just opened the door and told her. At the time I didn't think AP and her knew each other but we later found out they share a hairdresser and a cleaning lady. You never know how small your world is until the explodes. We actually went golfing (ex and i) the next day and just had a long 10 hour convo. We decided that day to end it. We didn't do the "i think I can get over this" dance.

Holy crap, your ex must be some kind of a saint. I would have beat you to death with a golf club right then.


It's really a sad story, and he's still worried his daughter may find out. I'm sure at some point the ex wife has told her, or someday when she wants to know more. While no marriage is perfect it's really a horrific thing when a family breaks up, and lives are altered over garbage. I'm sure this AP wasn't worth all the problems that ensued. If anything it's bewildering and sad to see how many couples allow strangers to steal what's really important.

It sounds like golfer stepped over a dollar to pick up a nickel. A slug nickel at that...



When I was in college my mom told me about what my father did. It was her weird way of giving me some sort of coming of age lesson since I had started dating my first love. My father had been dead for several years at that time, so I was irritated that I could not confront him about it. My mother said that she then had a retaliatory affair, then abortion, and regretted it. I think it gave me a jaded (perhaps necessary reality call?) view of life, humans and trust. But I am 10 + years into my marriage, so I am not that jaded.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 23:18     Subject: Re:For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 21:37     Subject: Re:For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:Golf guy here. I just opened the door and told her. At the time I didn't think AP and her knew each other but we later found out they share a hairdresser and a cleaning lady. You never know how small your world is until the explodes. We actually went golfing (ex and i) the next day and just had a long 10 hour convo. We decided that day to end it. We didn't do the "i think I can get over this" dance.

You are terrible. Sorry, but 4 lids and you did not even try? She clearly loved you. What a douchbag.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 19:17     Subject: Re:For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
PP! You need to travel with your DH to those conferences....
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 17:15     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:I do not leave my dear spouse because I love them with all my heart, honestly. We met and fell in love when we were young and had nothing, then built a happy, successful, and rich life together. We have a big family and several decades of love, shared experiences, friends, memories, passion, and happiness together.

Why would I willingly or easily surrender all of that to an AP who may in no small part be attracted to my spouse for their name (well known in their profession), connections, and wealth? ( My spouse has already admitted to working to advance AP's career, and AP has requested their advice and help.) I will fight for my spouse, and our children's parent with all my heart and every ounce of strength I have because I really love them.


I am not against staying but your last paragraph shows you are going to fail in your attempt to "fix this". You are blaming yourself and your actions. You list all the things you will do to "fix it".

But you are not the person that can fix it. Because the "it" that needs to be fixed is your H and he needs to fix himself.

Here is the paragraph... it's sad and pathetic because I think a therapist is probably walking you down a very bad path.

, I now work on our marriage every day, I communicate more verbally and physically, I am kinder and nicer, and I never take anything for granted. I also promised myself and DS that I never tell our children about the infidelity. I understand that DS needs to grieve the loss of this affair. At the same time I am nervous because DS and their AP are scheduled to be at two upcoming conferences. But I will trust my spouse, because no marriage can grow stronger with suspicion or jealousy.

Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 17:03     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
I do not leave my dear spouse because I love them with all my heart, honestly. We met and fell in love when we were young and had nothing, then built a happy, successful, and rich life together. We have a big family and several decades of love, shared experiences, friends, memories, passion, and happiness together.

Why would I willingly or easily surrender all of that to an AP who may in no small part be attracted to my spouse for their name (well known in their profession), connections, and wealth? ( My spouse has already admitted to working to advance AP's career, and AP has requested their advice and help.) I will fight for my spouse, and our children's parent with all my heart and every ounce of strength I have because I really love them.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 16:52     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Cheated on but caught them red handed.

Came home around 10pm when I was supposed to be back the next afternoon. Saw a strange vehicle parked in front of our house. Walked around back, looked through the window and saw her in another man's lap kissing and dry humping him.


When's your parole hearing?
I know at the very least you got arrested for assault...hopefully no full-fledged murder charge.


You don't know what happened, but why the heck do people do this in their own homes. Nosy neighbors, or who knows who comes home.

Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 16:21     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:Cheated on but caught them red handed.

Came home around 10pm when I was supposed to be back the next afternoon. Saw a strange vehicle parked in front of our house. Walked around back, looked through the window and saw her in another man's lap kissing and dry humping him.


When's your parole hearing?
I know at the very least you got arrested for assault...hopefully no full-fledged murder charge.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 16:16     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Cheated on but caught them red handed.

Came home around 10pm when I was supposed to be back the next afternoon. Saw a strange vehicle parked in front of our house. Walked around back, looked through the window and saw her in another man's lap kissing and dry humping him.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 14:23     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:Thank,you for that advice. I will not use that DS shorthand any more, as I do not want to confuse anyone into thinking I am Jocasta, and my dear spouse Oedipus.


Maybe we can get a few posters who, instead of relating their own experiences with infidelity, tell a famous story as though it was their own.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 14:20     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thank,you for that advice. I will not use that DS shorthand any more, as I do not want to confuse anyone into thinking I am Jocasta, and my dear spouse Oedipus.

It might be more interesting if you were.


I got so tired of bumping into "DS" and not following who cheated on whom that I gave up pretty quickly LOL
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 14:18     Subject: Re:For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:Mine had a change in music as well during affair. When someone goes from KennyG type stuff to Eminem you notice
Went with the dressing different, dying hair, lots of overtime yet less money, coffee replacing tea and other small changes.


I did all that and didn't even cheat! Bought CDs I wanted for a long time but never got around to it. Lost weight, dyed my hair, gave up coffee. Worked a lot of OT for comp time that DH has no way of tracking anyway.