Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP with the large elderly man with pot of tea story. I'm delighted that folks liked it...I'm pretty sure I might have told it here before.

Truth is, he was also wearing a beret. I usually leave that detail out, though, because it is so absurd as to render the whole story unbelievable, but it's true!

It's also true that I was in my mid-20's and nowhere near as assertive as I am now, so I actually sat down and had an excruciatingly painful date with him. I know I had a cup of tea and a piece of chocolate pie . First he told me that he was a retired CIA operative. Then, he swing the conversation toward my study abroad, my interest in literature, and his certainty that we would be compatible when engaging in tantric sex together. He then tried to educate me about what makes tantric sex so special. I finished my pie and excused myself.

[i thought I'd share the whole story here, since I have an appreciative audience. Usually, though, I think the beret and CIA and tantric sex stuff just makes it unbelievable. But it really happened!]

That date has been worth the time investment just because I've gotten to tell the story 100+ times since then, and it never gets less horrible or horribly enjoyable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok women. I am tall. 6' 2". I tower over the puny 5'6" girly man. Me big strong man.

Oh. by the way, I am fat. 260 lbs.

And I have 70's style body hair, not the 2010's image of hairless mammals.

So, I will give you the height. But I will also give you fluffy and hairy.

fluffy & hairy could work for me..quite well..but are you clean, neat, optimistic & a gentleman with good manners?

It depends on your definition of clean and neat...I am always hygienic. I hate feeling dirty. But I do not mind clutter. As for optimistic, every day is a new adventure. Never know how it will end. Gentleman/manners? Again it is definition. I am not rude, but I believe in equality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok women. I am tall. 6' 2". I tower over the puny 5'6" girly man. Me big strong man.

Oh. by the way, I am fat. 260 lbs.

And I have 70's style body hair, not the 2010's image of hairless mammals.

So, I will give you the height. But I will also give you fluffy and hairy.

fluffy & hairy could work for me..quite well..but are you clean, neat, optimistic & a gentleman with good manners?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok women. I am tall. 6' 2". I tower over the puny 5'6" girly man. Me big strong man.

Oh. by the way, I am fat. 260 lbs.

And I have 70's style body hair, not the 2010's image of hairless mammals.

So, I will give you the height. But I will also give you fluffy and hairy.

Eh. Gross. Youre precisely the type of man I find unattractive. Give me a fit, well groomed, short man any day.

+1 Fat and hairy... with a beard like ZZ Top. So many men online like this posing with guns, dead fish, etc. Probably why they are online

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the concern with height so long as he's taller than I am in heels. Which is easy as I'm 5' 2". I'm way pickier about his handsomness and his grooming/hygiene. If his teeth are crooked/broken or his nails are long and dirty I'd run for the hills way faster than if he was simply short. That said, I do know it's an issue for many. My best friend from college filtered all her match dates at 6'2" knowing that many lie a few inches so she was at least certain to get guys 5' 10" and taller.

That is probably wise of your friend. I am a 5'10" female. And I did get nailed once by a guy who lied by 4 inches on his profile. It was a big deal for me, because I would be 6 inches taller than him in heels. That wasn't fair to me.

So, even tho he lied by 4 inches you still had sex with him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Way back in the early days of Match, literally nearly 20 years ago at age 26, I said was looking for men ages 25-35. Got a very detailed reply from someone who said he was slightly above my age range but then listed in exhaustive detail all the things we had in common and asked if I'd give him a chance to meet for a drink because he was sure we'd click and age would be irrelevant. Stupid me for not writing to request exactly his age rather than assuming slightly above my range meant a few years.

When I walked in the bar, very early for happy hour, it was deserted other than a large elderly man with a pot of tea. I sat and waited until the elderly man approached and said my name! He was EASILY 70, possibly closer to 80.

I'd met guys who added inches but this guy more than doubled my max age and called it "slightly above."

I really hate narcissistic timewankers like that.

If this is true, best worst online dating story ever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok women. I am tall. 6' 2". I tower over the puny 5'6" girly man. Me big strong man.

Oh. by the way, I am fat. 260 lbs.

And I have 70's style body hair, not the 2010's image of hairless mammals.

So, I will give you the height. But I will also give you fluffy and hairy.

Eh. Gross. Youre precisely the type of man I find unattractive. Give me a fit, well groomed, short man any day.

Anonymous wrote:Ok women. I am tall. 6' 2". I tower over the puny 5'6" girly man. Me big strong man.

Oh. by the way, I am fat. 260 lbs.

And I have 70's style body hair, not the 2010's image of hairless mammals.

So, I will give you the height. But I will also give you fluffy and hairy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the concern with height so long as he's taller than I am in heels. Which is easy as I'm 5' 2". I'm way pickier about his handsomness and his grooming/hygiene. If his teeth are crooked/broken or his nails are long and dirty I'd run for the hills way faster than if he was simply short. That said, I do know it's an issue for many. My best friend from college filtered all her match dates at 6'2" knowing that many lie a few inches so she was at least certain to get guys 5' 10" and taller.

That is probably wise of your friend. I am a 5'10" female. And I did get nailed once by a guy who lied by 4 inches on his profile. It was a big deal for me, because I would be 6 inches taller than him in heels. That wasn't fair to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of the things PP listed actually do change your appearance and are not lies. He may as well have mentioned that you can wipe your ass.

Lipstick isn't a lie? Your lips are naturally glossy, bright red, and outlined in black? Uh huh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Back again to add:

Some people also don't really read your profile info fully. I went on multiple dates with a Jewish guy who seemed pretty nice. I'm not Jewish, which was stated in my profile. On one of the dates he started talking about how it would be a shock to his mother to bring home a nice German Jewish girl who looks so non-Jewish (whatever). I gave him a funny look and told him that I'm not, at which point he got upset. Uhm, it's ON MY PROFILE under religion--Catholic.

Another date. Partway through the date I mention my son. Who is not only listed on my profile but is in a pic. Date looks shocked and says he doesn't want to date anyone with kids. Fair enough but it's ON MY PROFILE.

I could go on and on.

I'm not sure its fair to expect people to infer that a child in a pic with you is yours. Lots of profiles out there where the kid is a niece or nephew. In order not to waste your time I would put it in the profile or mention it prior to meeting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty much every man I ever met on a dating website lied about their height unless they were over 6'2". Those that were that tall gave their real height. Just shave at least 2" off everyone's profile. Apparently almost every woman over 40 lies about height/weight, judging by the comments I got from the men I did meet.

Them: You look EXACTLY like your profile picture!
Me: (thinking...because it's a photograph, not an artistic rendering?)

Add an inch to your height if you want to cut back on the men who are too short for you. The only time that ever backfired a bit was when I met a guy who was 6'8", and he told me I was the shortest woman he'd ever gone out with. I did apologize to him, even though I was wearing high heels--but that's still a LOT of difference. (His preference was 5'10" and up)

Back again to add:

Some people also don't really read your profile info fully. I went on multiple dates with a Jewish guy who seemed pretty nice. I'm not Jewish, which was stated in my profile. On one of the dates he started talking about how it would be a shock to his mother to bring home a nice German Jewish girl who looks so non-Jewish (whatever). I gave him a funny look and told him that I'm not, at which point he got upset. Uhm, it's ON MY PROFILE under religion--Catholic.

Another date. Partway through the date I mention my son. Who is not only listed on my profile but is in a pic. Date looks shocked and says he doesn't want to date anyone with kids. Fair enough but it's ON MY PROFILE.

I could go on and on.