We used to have a great sex life. We had a sleep position where I was on my stomach, she was on her back, my left arm was around her and we held each other’s right hands over our heads. It was so comforting. But my health started to fail me. When DS was born, we hoped that my parental leave would cure me, but it didn’t. Our sex life ended. Our son is ten and still cosleeps. He slept in his own room for a while but then moved back into ours. It works great for us. One big happy family. I used to be extremely social and organize balls and galas. I used to speak at conventions. I haven’t in many years because my health isn’t what it used to be. I’ve lost much of what used to make me attractive to DW. That bothered me a lot for a while. But at this point, I’m not sure that I want to go back to the way it was. I’m used to the way it is now. It would feel weird to start acting like we did 20 years ago.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For as young as I can remember, I slept in my own bed and my own room. My older sister had her own room.

I wouldn't want memories of breastfeeding, wearing a diaper, or sleeping with my parents.

I never heard of co-sleeping.

Not sure what’s your point. What does this have to do with OP’s post?

I never heard of co-sleeping. It sounds like lazy parenting. You don't want to teach your kids to fall asleep by themselves without fear? That's lazy.

That is why some parents ween their children off of sleeping with a night light, or sleeping with a stuffed animal. Or sleeping with the bedroom door open.

These are milestones for children to learn how to sleep on their own without fear.

Many cultures around the world do it. Get out of your bubble. Kids learn it on their own speed. My first learned at 10 months and we never co slept. I doubt you ever dealt with a child with night terrors or waking up screaming multiple times a night. You do what you need to do as a parent to make your child feel safe and secure. It is not lazy. Stop judging. I am sure my 3-year-old won’t do this that much longer. It is fine. My brother did not sleep through the night until age 4. All kids are different.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For as young as I can remember, I slept in my own bed and my own room. My older sister had her own room.

I wouldn't want memories of breastfeeding, wearing a diaper, or sleeping with my parents.

I never heard of co-sleeping.

Not sure what’s your point. What does this have to do with OP’s post?

I never heard of co-sleeping. It sounds like lazy parenting. You don't want to teach your kids to fall asleep by themselves without fear? That's lazy.

That is why some parents ween their children off of sleeping with a night light, or sleeping with a stuffed animal. Or sleeping with the bedroom door open.

These are milestones for children to learn how to sleep on their own without fear.

I agree. Lazy and spineless.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP...you're 'off' and so is your husband...hence the dysfunction in your marriage.

FWIW...I love foreplay, intimacy, playful fun outside the bedroom, making love and raw energetic drive each other wild sex...and I will cuddle...but I have never been much of a fan for a lot of cuddling, especially at bedtime, nor can I fall asleep while entwined.

You like sex outside the bedroom/don't like cuddling- that's you. That's not OP and millions of other people. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have sex in your bed regularly and being able to relax afterwards with your partner. That's not going to happen if the kids are sleeping in the same bed.

Change bed! In most houses with kids you have at least two bedrooms. If the couch is too adventurous, just use the spare room. What is SO difficult and inconvenient about this... I don’t get it. How can using a different room for sex and intimacy or sleep with the kids ruin a marriage?

OP here: We don't have an extra bedroom. You're living in a bubble....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For as young as I can remember, I slept in my own bed and my own room. My older sister had her own room.

I wouldn't want memories of breastfeeding, wearing a diaper, or sleeping with my parents.

I never heard of co-sleeping.

Not sure what’s your point. What does this have to do with OP’s post?

I never heard of co-sleeping. It sounds like lazy parenting. You don't want to teach your kids to fall asleep by themselves without fear? That's lazy.

That is why some parents ween their children off of sleeping with a night light, or sleeping with a stuffed animal. Or sleeping with the bedroom door open.

These are milestones for children to learn how to sleep on their own without fear.

Anonymous wrote:For as young as I can remember, I slept in my own bed and my own room. My older sister had her own room.

I wouldn't want memories of breastfeeding, wearing a diaper, or sleeping with my parents.

I never heard of co-sleeping.

Not sure what’s your point. What does this have to do with OP’s post?

For as young as I can remember, I slept in my own bed and my own room. My older sister had her own room.

I wouldn't want memories of breastfeeding, wearing a diaper, or sleeping with my parents.

I never heard of co-sleeping.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your 2 year old is not a "baby". You only have yourself to blame for this. You chose to have your kid in bed with you instead of your husband so....

You clearly didn't read my post. It was my husbands choice.

Honestly OP. Why care. Be happy you have your child and are rid of your husband.

Put your energy into you child. You will probably find a better partner down the road who will help you raise you child. Many women do.

Not worth have a baby man child ever.

This is an utterly stupid statement. You are extremely unlikely indeed to find any man who is more interested in your children than their father. Many women do NOT find better men. They find much worse men, if any at all.

+1. She might find one that is more attentive to her needs, but very unlikely to find a man that will love her kids more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your 2 year old is not a "baby". You only have yourself to blame for this. You chose to have your kid in bed with you instead of your husband so....

You clearly didn't read my post. It was my husbands choice.

Honestly OP. Why care. Be happy you have your child and are rid of your husband.

Put your energy into you child. You will probably find a better partner down the road who will help you raise you child. Many women do.

Not worth have a baby man child ever.

This is an utterly stupid statement. You are extremely unlikely indeed to find any man who is more interested in your children than their father. Many women do NOT find better men. They find much worse men, if any at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids don’t belong in the marital bed. The End.

A lot of people co-sleep in the kids' bed. I do.

I have to stay until she falls asleep, then I leave. But then I go in the room to sleep there. She is three years old. If I don't, and I slept in the "marital bed," she would wake up and scream and run into our room, which wakes my husband up. He would rather have interrupted sleep. I prefer that, too. If I am next to her at night, she usually does not wake up. Sometimes she does, but she doesn't start crying in fear of being alone. She just wants a hug and goes back to sleep. Staying in her room allows us all, including my other child, to get a good night's rest.

That's you own doing and you aren't doing your child favors by showing them they can do what your child is doing and get their way.

I don’t think PP is unhappy about having to stay with her daughter until she falls asleep. I do the same and I love it. They are not spoiled at all. They are very independent and I found out today “very advanced” from an OT that works at one of my DDs’ school. I love to sleep with them. They need to feel safe and secure much more than my husband does.

Yeah, that's not what "very independent" means.

They are... most independent in their own classes

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids don’t belong in the marital bed. The End.

A lot of people co-sleep in the kids' bed. I do.

I have to stay until she falls asleep, then I leave. But then I go in the room to sleep there. She is three years old. If I don't, and I slept in the "marital bed," she would wake up and scream and run into our room, which wakes my husband up. He would rather have interrupted sleep. I prefer that, too. If I am next to her at night, she usually does not wake up. Sometimes she does, but she doesn't start crying in fear of being alone. She just wants a hug and goes back to sleep. Staying in her room allows us all, including my other child, to get a good night's rest.

That's you own doing and you aren't doing your child favors by showing them they can do what your child is doing and get their way.

I don’t think PP is unhappy about having to stay with her daughter until she falls asleep. I do the same and I love it. They are not spoiled at all. They are very independent and I found out today “very advanced” from an OT that works at one of my DDs’ school. I love to sleep with them. They need to feel safe and secure much more than my husband does.

Yeah, that's not what "very independent" means.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids don’t belong in the marital bed. The End.

A lot of people co-sleep in the kids' bed. I do.

I have to stay until she falls asleep, then I leave. But then I go in the room to sleep there. She is three years old. If I don't, and I slept in the "marital bed," she would wake up and scream and run into our room, which wakes my husband up. He would rather have interrupted sleep. I prefer that, too. If I am next to her at night, she usually does not wake up. Sometimes she does, but she doesn't start crying in fear of being alone. She just wants a hug and goes back to sleep. Staying in her room allows us all, including my other child, to get a good night's rest.

That's you own doing and you aren't doing your child favors by showing them they can do what your child is doing and get their way.

I don’t think PP is unhappy about having to stay with her daughter until she falls asleep. I do the same and I love it. They are not spoiled at all. They are very independent and I found out today “very advanced” from an OT that works at one of my DDs’ school. I love to sleep with them. They need to feel safe and secure much more than my husband does.

And that last line right there is why your marriage will go down the tubes.

Says who? You? My DH is very happy. Loves to sleeps with our DD and we have sex and spend time together all the time. You are wrong in my case PP. we have more sex than any of our friends (min 4/week). You got it so wrong, but believe what makes you feel better about your relationship

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids don’t belong in the marital bed. The End.

A lot of people co-sleep in the kids' bed. I do.

I have to stay until she falls asleep, then I leave. But then I go in the room to sleep there. She is three years old. If I don't, and I slept in the "marital bed," she would wake up and scream and run into our room, which wakes my husband up. He would rather have interrupted sleep. I prefer that, too. If I am next to her at night, she usually does not wake up. Sometimes she does, but she doesn't start crying in fear of being alone. She just wants a hug and goes back to sleep. Staying in her room allows us all, including my other child, to get a good night's rest.

That's you own doing and you aren't doing your child favors by showing them they can do what your child is doing and get their way.

I don’t think PP is unhappy about having to stay with her daughter until she falls asleep. I do the same and I love it. They are not spoiled at all. They are very independent and I found out today “very advanced” from an OT that works at one of my DDs’ school. I love to sleep with them. They need to feel safe and secure much more than my husband does.

And that last line right there is why your marriage will go down the tubes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your 2 year old is not a "baby". You only have yourself to blame for this. You chose to have your kid in bed with you instead of your husband so....

You clearly didn't read my post. It was my husbands choice.

Honestly OP. Why care. Be happy you have your child and are rid of your husband.

Put your energy into you child. You will probably find a better partner down the road who will help you raise you child. Many women do.

Not worth have a baby man child ever.

OP's dh isn't a crappy father. He's a crappy husband who's using co-sleeping to avoid intimacy with his wife beyond the bare minimum (penetrative sex but no foreplay or physical affection).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your 2 year old is not a "baby". You only have yourself to blame for this. You chose to have your kid in bed with you instead of your husband so....

You clearly didn't read my post. It was my husbands choice.

Honestly OP. Why care. Be happy you have your child and are rid of your husband.

Put your energy into you child. You will probably find a better partner down the road who will help you raise you child. Many women do.

Not worth have a baby man child ever.