Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why people are telling OP to 'support the lady'. By making a choice that effects both of them, she is roping him into an expense that will take at LEAST 25% of his salary for the next 18 years. But sure OP go ahead, no big deal.

Umm the OP made the choice of having sex with a woman still capable of having children. He could have had a vasectomy, he could date a woman past having children, he could abstain from sex. Therefore he had 50% of the responsibility. An ex boyfriend of mine said that his dad reminded him any woman he has sex with can be the mother of his children. This is why everyone is saying he needs to support his child regardless of if the relationship with his ex.

What a disingenuous comment.

Getting a vasectomy is generally permanent. Just because he didn't want children right now, with this particular woman, doesn't mean he doesn't want children ever.

By this logic, if someone rear ends my car, I should pay half because every time I get onto the road, I take the risk that I could get into an accident and if I don't like that, I should just stay home, or walk everywhere.

FFS, he could have just used a condom. OP admitted above he did not use birth control. He is responsible. Yes, if you put your penis in someone else, you are 50% responsible for the consequences. Even my 13 y.o. knows that.

Your analogy reflects your misogyny. Women are not public highways open to all travellers, and conception is not just a random accident due to one party's bad behavior. You have been permitted to participate in an intimate act, one which all parties know can have unwanted consequences that both parties are legally responsible for.

He's a Professor! All he had to do was walk over to the Health Center or whatever and they would have given him condoms FOR FREAKING FREE!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why people are telling OP to 'support the lady'. By making a choice that effects both of them, she is roping him into an expense that will take at LEAST 25% of his salary for the next 18 years. But sure OP go ahead, no big deal.

Umm the OP made the choice of having sex with a woman still capable of having children. He could have had a vasectomy, he could date a woman past having children, he could abstain from sex. Therefore he had 50% of the responsibility. An ex boyfriend of mine said that his dad reminded him any woman he has sex with can be the mother of his children. This is why everyone is saying he needs to support his child regardless of if the relationship with his ex.

What a disingenuous comment.

Getting a vasectomy is generally permanent. Just because he didn't want children right now, with this particular woman, doesn't mean he doesn't want children ever.

By this logic, if someone rear ends my car, I should pay half because every time I get onto the road, I take the risk that I could get into an accident and if I don't like that, I should just stay home, or walk everywhere.

FFS, he could have just used a condom. OP admitted above he did not use birth control. He is responsible. Yes, if you put your penis in someone else, you are 50% responsible for the consequences. Even my 13 y.o. knows that.

Your analogy reflects your misogyny. Women are not public highways open to all travellers, and conception is not just a random accident due to one party's bad behavior. You have been permitted to participate in an intimate act, one which all parties know can have unwanted consequences that both parties are legally responsible for.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why people are telling OP to 'support the lady'. By making a choice that effects both of them, she is roping him into an expense that will take at LEAST 25% of his salary for the next 18 years. But sure OP go ahead, no big deal.

Umm the OP made the choice of having sex with a woman still capable of having children. He could have had a vasectomy, he could date a woman past having children, he could abstain from sex. Therefore he had 50% of the responsibility. An ex boyfriend of mine said that his dad reminded him any woman he has sex with can be the mother of his children. This is why everyone is saying he needs to support his child regardless of if the relationship with his ex.

What a disingenuous comment.

Getting a vasectomy is generally permanent. Just because he didn't want children right now, with this particular woman, doesn't mean he doesn't want children ever.

By this logic, if someone rear ends my car, I should pay half because every time I get onto the road, I take the risk that I could get into an accident and if I don't like that, I should just stay home, or walk everywhere.

If you are a man and you have intercourse with women, that's pretty much the risk you run. That's just the biological facts, nothing we can do about them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why people are telling OP to 'support the lady'. By making a choice that effects both of them, she is roping him into an expense that will take at LEAST 25% of his salary for the next 18 years. But sure OP go ahead, no big deal.

Umm the OP made the choice of having sex with a woman still capable of having children. He could have had a vasectomy, he could date a woman past having children, he could abstain from sex. Therefore he had 50% of the responsibility. An ex boyfriend of mine said that his dad reminded him any woman he has sex with can be the mother of his children. This is why everyone is saying he needs to support his child regardless of if the relationship with his ex.

What a disingenuous comment.

Getting a vasectomy is generally permanent. Just because he didn't want children right now, with this particular woman, doesn't mean he doesn't want children ever.

By this logic, if someone rear ends my car, I should pay half because every time I get onto the road, I take the risk that I could get into an accident and if I don't like that, I should just stay home, or walk everywhere.

Off topic, but OP is 35. Was he holding out to 50 to become a dad for the first time? With a car, you are supposed to purchase car insurance because of the risk of you causing an accident or someone else (hit and run, uninsured driver etc).

Also sex, is a 50/50 responsibility unlike a car accident where one person can be deemed responsible for paying. As a woman, I think it’s utter BS in this day an age a woman is completely responsible if she ends up pregnant and the father of the child is an innocent bystander that has no responsibility . It’s like the 1950’s in the 2017’s.

I may have missed it but did they find out if she’s actually pregnant or not?

First, find out for sure. Don’t know what to tell you after that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One day at a time, OP. This doesn't mean you have to get back together, since that's clearly not what you want (or you wouldn't have broken up with her to begin with). I'd start a conversation with an attorney in the meantime.

This is just dumb. He didn't want to be a stepdad because he wanted to avoid a messy situation. Ok, fine. But now he is going to be a father, and if he is not with the mom then guess what? It is going to be a messy situation. If he got along spectacularly with the woman as he is describing and they love each other, then might as well just go all in at this point.

What’s dumb is getting married just because she is pregnant. I don’t think OP loves this woman or he wouldn’t have broken up with her in the first place, kids or no kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's your salary?

Not that high - I'm a few years into a tenure-track professorship. Good benefits and I will be tenured next year, fingers crossed.

So help me to understand this: you are educated and seeking tenure for a professorship but you are to stupid to use reliable BC and having unprotected sex with a woman you barely know?

Tell me where teach so I don’t send my children there.

What a self centered prick! He’s probably holding out so he can still do it with his students.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why people are telling OP to 'support the lady'. By making a choice that effects both of them, she is roping him into an expense that will take at LEAST 25% of his salary for the next 18 years. But sure OP go ahead, no big deal.

Umm the OP made the choice of having sex with a woman still capable of having children. He could have had a vasectomy, he could date a woman past having children, he could abstain from sex. Therefore he had 50% of the responsibility. An ex boyfriend of mine said that his dad reminded him any woman he has sex with can be the mother of his children. This is why everyone is saying he needs to support his child regardless of if the relationship with his ex.

What a disingenuous comment.

Getting a vasectomy is generally permanent. Just because he didn't want children right now, with this particular woman, doesn't mean he doesn't want children ever.

By this logic, if someone rear ends my car, I should pay half because every time I get onto the road, I take the risk that I could get into an accident and if I don't like that, I should just stay home, or walk everywhere.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why people are telling OP to 'support the lady'. By making a choice that effects both of them, she is roping him into an expense that will take at LEAST 25% of his salary for the next 18 years. But sure OP go ahead, no big deal.

Umm the OP made the choice of having sex with a woman still capable of having children. He could have had a vasectomy, he could date a woman past having children, he could abstain from sex. Therefore he had 50% of the responsibility. An ex boyfriend of mine said that his dad reminded him any woman he has sex with can be the mother of his children. This is why everyone is saying he needs to support his child regardless of if the relationship with his ex.

i feel pretty bad for OP. It's not at all unreasonable to say you just don't want to be a stepdad and deal with a blended family so I can see why he ended it.

Now this.

He beats his share of the blame for the no birth control thing (unless she told him she was on it?) but man what was SHE thinking? If I'm a single mom with two kids the LAST thing I'm doing is risking this exact situation. Congrats kids. New sibling, different dad, except we aren't together. Fun times.

Why did you post that crap?

But um OP, whatever you do - do so legally. Which is why you should take her to court, not poison her. At least I hope this isn't you.

D.C. Doctor Spikes Girlfriend's Tea With Abortion Pill

ARLINGTON, VA (WUSA9) - A former Medstar Georgetown University Hospital doctor is facing charges after police say he spiked his pregnant girlfriend's drink with an abortion pill, causing her to miscarry.

In an interview she recently gave to WROC, Brooke Fiske said she and Sikander Imran were dating on and off for three years. In the Spring, Imran moved from New York to Arlington, Va. for a new job. Shortly after, he learned Fiske was pregnant. According to her, he wanted nothing to do with the pregnancy.

"He didn't want to have a baby so he tried to talk me into having an abortion, which I didn't want to do," Fiske said.

According to Fiske, she came to Virginia when she was 17 weeks pregnant to discuss how she and Imran would raise their child. It was during that visit police say he poisoned her. A few hours after drinking some tea, Fiske started having contractions.

"When I was drinking my tea in the evening, I got to the bottom of the cup, there was a gritty substance in there," Fiske said. "And when I looked at it, I could tell that it was a pill that had been ground up."

Fiske was taken to Virginia Hospital Center, where she went into labor and lost her baby boy. She told WROC tests showed the abortion pill Misoprostol was found in her system.

Arlington court records show that Imran is charged with causing an abortion, and premeditated killing of a fetus of another.

Court records also show his trial was scheduled to begin this week, but was continued. His trial is now scheduled to begin in March. Imran is still being held at the Arlington County Detention Center.

http://www.wusa9.com/news/local/dc-doctor-accused-of-spiking-pregnant-girlfriends-tea-with-abortion-pill/499765290

I don't know why people are telling OP to 'support the lady'. By making a choice that effects both of them, she is roping him into an expense that will take at LEAST 25% of his salary for the next 18 years. But sure OP go ahead, no big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have her take a pregnancy test in front of you.

Why? Just wait a couple months. No need to make decisions right now anyway.

To see if she's lying about being pregnant. She could fake a pregnancy for up to a few months and then miscarry by that time she'd have OP back emotionally.

Nah, no need to try to be adversarial. Just postpone decisions for a while. And what, only women who fake being pregnant are manipulating the guy emotionally? That's kind of an expected thing in a marriage.

Guy hete. I agree with others. Op, you are a slime ball. Act your age and be a man by supporting the lady. Deal with it.