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lol. bless your heart. I think you actually just can't conceive of a world where tenure at an R1 is more prestogious and desired than vacations at your in laws in Florida.

NP. It might be more prestigious, but the money frankly is just not very good, and that fact sucks more than I thought it would. Prestige doesn't buy me a vacation in the Maldives.
-wife of tenture-track faculy member

Nobody gets tenure for the money obviously. And we're talking about the professors, not the spouses-of. And all of the R1/Ivy professors I know are constantly traveling to very cool places. I can believe of course that there are tradeoffs and drawbacks, but the topic here is whether being a 27 year old nonworking woman in the midwest married to a car dealer heir is the pinnacle of female dreams.

I thought we were talking about the spouses. This 27 year old is a spouse of a car dealer heir, no?

My point is that i used to place a higher premium on prestige. Now I would prefer a little more cash. Just being honest.

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Pp here. I agree. I would never be jealous of a girl who married a car dealers son in the Midwest. I’d find that culture and setting totally suffocating.

But marrying a really smart successful guy who travels out of space, probably has interesting intellectually stimulating conversations, and comes from an accomplished educated family? Sure! Who doesn’t want that?

Personally I’d like to Be the smart accomplished person and married to a smart accomplished person. But this girl has an easy life but still has access to all of this by association. She’s automatically smart because her husband is smart. And I’m sure she learns something new every day. And her children will be super smart too.

This is where you are absurdly wrong.

How does she have conversations with her smart husband then?

Either she's smart of her own accord, which has nothing to do with her husband. Or he, like most people of all intelligence levels, is capable of talking to someone with a different level of intelligence than him.

DH and I are both very smart (if you accept as evidence things like IQ or signifiers such as having PhDs in fields that are considered difficult). Before me, DH said most of the women he dated were not very smart. He decided at some point that he wanted to be with someone whom he could have an intelligent conversation with, but not all people make this decision. Men are more likely to choose someone less intelligent than them than women.

I'm sure this woman is lovely and a decent person. She may or may not be intelligent...but marrying an astronaut does not automatically make you intelligent!

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Anonymous wrote:Being rich in a flyover metro is no different than being rich in a coastal city once you're married (with kids). Men work, go to kid's private school functions, drink good scotch alone in the basement while watching cable news at night. SAHMs do yoga, shop at Whole Foods, post on facebook. Your circle of friends is other execs, business owners, lawyers, doctors, professors. If you're jones'ing for the one Kennedy Center event you go to a year, fly to it. Flyover is only a risk for middle class who don't have the deep labor market bounce around.

This isn't true. I'm from a wealthy area in a flyover metro and it's VERY different than living in DC with a two career household.

Can you elaborate PP? I am considering a relocation with my family and would love to hear your take. Will I die of boredom?

Not pp but I’m from Chicago and never been bored. The nightlife is extensive, we have good outdoor spaces to run and bike, and many of the moms are yoga finatics that shop at Whole Foods. I can see moving to a rural area can be boring if you’re a city person, but living in Chicago or in the heart of cities like Minneapolis, Indianapolis, Colombus, OH, etc., will not leave you bored.

I would be very happy living in Indianapolis. I spent a year living in South Bend and I actually became depressed it was so horrible.

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Anonymous wrote:
Pp here. I agree. I would never be jealous of a girl who married a car dealers son in the Midwest. I’d find that culture and setting totally suffocating.

But marrying a really smart successful guy who travels out of space, probably has interesting intellectually stimulating conversations, and comes from an accomplished educated family? Sure! Who doesn’t want that?

Personally I’d like to Be the smart accomplished person and married to a smart accomplished person. But this girl has an easy life but still has access to all of this by association. She’s automatically smart because her husband is smart. And I’m sure she learns something new every day. And her children will be super smart too.

This is where you are absurdly wrong.

How does she have conversations with her smart husband then?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being rich in a flyover metro is no different than being rich in a coastal city once you're married (with kids). Men work, go to kid's private school functions, drink good scotch alone in the basement while watching cable news at night. SAHMs do yoga, shop at Whole Foods, post on facebook. Your circle of friends is other execs, business owners, lawyers, doctors, professors. If you're jones'ing for the one Kennedy Center event you go to a year, fly to it. Flyover is only a risk for middle class who don't have the deep labor market bounce around.

This isn't true. I'm from a wealthy area in a flyover metro and it's VERY different than living in DC with a two career household.

Can you elaborate PP? I am considering a relocation with my family and would love to hear your take. Will I die of boredom?

Not pp but I’m from Chicago and never been bored. The nightlife is extensive, we have good outdoor spaces to run and bike, and many of the moms are yoga finatics that shop at Whole Foods. I can see moving to a rural area can be boring if you’re a city person, but living in Chicago or in the heart of cities like Minneapolis, Indianapolis, Colombus, OH, etc., will not leave you bored.

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Person I never in a million years would be envious of:
Woman who left NYC at 27 to marry into a midwest car dealer family and live in a giant lake house and drive a new SUV.

+ high community status
+ best private schools
+ travel anywhere
+ in-laws' winter home in Naples, FL
+ in-laws' ski house in Vail, CO

Not a bad come up for a cute ditz who studied communications at a crummy college.

lol. bless your heart. I think you actually just can't conceive of a world where tenure at an R1 is more prestogious and desired than vacations at your in laws in Florida.

NP. It might be more prestigious, but the money frankly is just not very good, and that fact sucks more than I thought it would. Prestige doesn't buy me a vacation in the Maldives.
-wife of tenture-track faculy member

Nobody gets tenure for the money obviously. And we're talking about the professors, not the spouses-of. And all of the R1/Ivy professors I know are constantly traveling to very cool places. I can believe of course that there are tradeoffs and drawbacks, but the topic here is whether being a 27 year old nonworking woman in the midwest married to a car dealer heir is the pinnacle of female dreams.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being rich in a flyover metro is no different than being rich in a coastal city once you're married (with kids). Men work, go to kid's private school functions, drink good scotch alone in the basement while watching cable news at night. SAHMs do yoga, shop at Whole Foods, post on facebook. Your circle of friends is other execs, business owners, lawyers, doctors, professors. If you're jones'ing for the one Kennedy Center event you go to a year, fly to it. Flyover is only a risk for middle class who don't have the deep labor market bounce around.

This isn't true. I'm from a wealthy area in a flyover metro and it's VERY different than living in DC with a two career household.

Can you elaborate PP? I am considering a relocation with my family and would love to hear your take. Will I die of boredom?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Person I never in a million years would be envious of:
Woman who left NYC at 27 to marry into a midwest car dealer family and live in a giant lake house and drive a new SUV.

+ high community status
+ best private schools
+ travel anywhere
+ in-laws' winter home in Naples, FL
+ in-laws' ski house in Vail, CO

Not a bad come up for a cute ditz who studied communications at a crummy college.

lol. bless your heart. I think you actually just can't conceive of a world where tenure at an R1 is more prestogious and desired than vacations at your in laws in Florida.

NP. It might be more prestigious, but the money frankly is just not very good, and that fact sucks more than I thought it would. Prestige doesn't buy me a vacation in the Maldives.
-wife of tenture-track faculy member

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Anonymous wrote:People I am envious of:
My friend who just got tenure at an R1 university
My friend who has a killer design sense and just bought her 3rd investment property
My friend who literally built her own house by hand, travels the world, and is now getting a nursing degree
My friend who quit a sucky job and went out on her own as a consultant making more money working less time, spends her time on a multitude of creative hobbies and lives abroad part of the year
My other friend who quit HER sucky job after saving up mucho dinero and now sails around the world
All of these friends are 40+ and unmarried.

Person I never in a million years would be envious of:
Woman who left NYC at 27 to marry into a midwest car dealer family and live in a giant lake house and drive a new SUV.

OP, I'm not jealous of your niece's carefree 0.10% lifestyle, I'm jealous of these other 1% lifestyles a select few of my friends achieved. Also, those are much tougher and/or rely on too much luck/chance than merely being cute and targeting a rich boy in college.

what? none of my friends' lives depend on lucl of chance. They depend on talent, initiative, and hard work.

You live in DC and know NO trust fund babies? I call BS

Anonymous wrote:Money doesn't buy happiness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being rich in a flyover metro is no different than being rich in a coastal city once you're married (with kids). Men work, go to kid's private school functions, drink good scotch alone in the basement while watching cable news at night. SAHMs do yoga, shop at Whole Foods, post on facebook. Your circle of friends is other execs, business owners, lawyers, doctors, professors. If you're jones'ing for the one Kennedy Center event you go to a year, fly to it. Flyover is only a risk for middle class who don't have the deep labor market bounce around.

This isn't true. I'm from a wealthy area in a flyover metro and it's VERY different than living in DC with a two career household.