Anonymous
11/06/2017 19:19
Subject: Re:He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP HERE.
Does everyone want to know how this turned out?
He came home for lunch and I told him I wanted to talk about the situation again. Because of all of your helpful posts, you gave me the confidence to tell him I didn't like him running with her so often and that I called Pacers and found a running group that he could join two days a week at 5am. I even mentioned seeing her text "Happy Birthday, Gorgeous!"
He smiled at me and said, "No problem. You are the most important thing in my life. She is the type of person that just gets really close to crossing the line of inappropriateness. If you want me to stop running with her, then done. She was just the only person that would reliably show up every...single...morning and run with me and kept me motivated but it's not worth it if you're uncomfortable. Will you please start running with me? We'll figure out what to do with the kids that early. And if you can't run that far, you can ride your bike or just stop early and I'll keep going. Even better if you could come with me to this running group."
DC Urban Moms...thank you very much!! I'm feeling A LOT better and I guess I'm going to start running now!
That's what I would do! If you're asking him to give up his running buddy (for perfectly understandable reasons, I would too--the "HB gorgeous" text, um no), then do your best to support him. Even if it's going halfway, or one of the other options he suggests.
I am so glad you approached him and I am especially glad you got such an amazing response from your husband! You are very fortunate. He sounds like a definite keeper!
+1!! Wow, good guys do exist.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 19:17
Subject: He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
If your husband was having an affair he is not going to stop because they are no longer running together. In fact this is now the perfect cover for him.
If your husband wants to have an affair there is nothing you can do to stop him.
If your husband wants to have an affair there is nothing you can do to stop him.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 19:06
Subject: He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Anonymous wrote:I......would put this in the category of "no."
Seems perfectly reasonable to say to DH "Look. I know you like running and I know Stacey is a nice person. And I trust you, but I have to be honest it makes me very uncomfortable that you run with her so often."
Good advice, but, to play Devil's Advocate, what if her name is not Stacey and he (the husband) just to thinks to himself Stacey? I haven't been running with any "Stacey." And then just goes, "Yeah, sure, fine I'll stop running with 'Stacey,' no problem." But really he's going to keep running with her, whatever her name really is. Just a thought.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 18:59
Subject: He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Anonymous wrote:Op - switch it around.
If you went to the gym every morning and had a male personal trainer working with you would your DH be upset? Would you be mad at DH for being upset for no good reason other than your gym trainer was a guy?
I think you're reading too much into it? There's been no evidence of an affair - you say DH is loving, reassuring, good dad, etc.
Is she from the south, by chance? Those women tend to say things like "gorgeous, honey, sweet heart" casually without any real meaning behind it.
Okay, I know that all is resolved by this point, but I just wanted to say that I'd personally see that situation as different than this one. This personal trainer is someone that she'd pay to work with her, whereas the running buddies are a relationship formed. Totally different.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 18:58
Subject: Re:He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP HERE.
Does everyone want to know how this turned out?
He came home for lunch and I told him I wanted to talk about the situation again. Because of all of your helpful posts, you gave me the confidence to tell him I didn't like him running with her so often and that I called Pacers and found a running group that he could join two days a week at 5am. I even mentioned seeing her text "Happy Birthday, Gorgeous!"
He smiled at me and said, "No problem. You are the most important thing in my life. She is the type of person that just gets really close to crossing the line of inappropriateness. If you want me to stop running with her, then done. She was just the only person that would reliably show up every...single...morning and run with me and kept me motivated but it's not worth it if you're uncomfortable. Will you please start running with me? We'll figure out what to do with the kids that early. And if you can't run that far, you can ride your bike or just stop early and I'll keep going. Even better if you could come with me to this running group."
DC Urban Moms...thank you very much!! I'm feeling A LOT better and I guess I'm going to start running now!
That's what I would do! If you're asking him to give up his running buddy (for perfectly understandable reasons, I would too--the "HB gorgeous" text, um no), then do your best to support him. Even if it's going halfway, or one of the other options he suggests.
I am so glad you approached him and I am especially glad you got such an amazing response from your husband! You are very fortunate. He sounds like a definite keeper!
Absolutely. Glad things worked out, OP, and your husband sounds wonderful. Don't feel bad for being suspicious.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 18:37
Subject: He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Yes, ask him to stop. No question.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 18:11
Subject: Re:He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Anonymous wrote:OP HERE.
Does everyone want to know how this turned out?
He came home for lunch and I told him I wanted to talk about the situation again. Because of all of your helpful posts, you gave me the confidence to tell him I didn't like him running with her so often and that I called Pacers and found a running group that he could join two days a week at 5am. I even mentioned seeing her text "Happy Birthday, Gorgeous!"
He smiled at me and said, "No problem. You are the most important thing in my life. She is the type of person that just gets really close to crossing the line of inappropriateness. If you want me to stop running with her, then done. She was just the only person that would reliably show up every...single...morning and run with me and kept me motivated but it's not worth it if you're uncomfortable. Will you please start running with me? We'll figure out what to do with the kids that early. And if you can't run that far, you can ride your bike or just stop early and I'll keep going. Even better if you could come with me to this running group."
DC Urban Moms...thank you very much!! I'm feeling A LOT better and I guess I'm going to start running now!
None of this happened.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 18:09
Subject: He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
I used to run long distances with others. There is something about running that bonds people together. I only ran with same gender friends. You really should ask your dh to stop running with her -- what does she have to lose? She doesn't have kids, she already calls him gorgeous, he gets up super early for their runs -- these are all red flags.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 18:06
Subject: Re:He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP HERE.
Does everyone want to know how this turned out?
He came home for lunch and I told him I wanted to talk about the situation again. Because of all of your helpful posts, you gave me the confidence to tell him I didn't like him running with her so often and that I called Pacers and found a running group that he could join two days a week at 5am. I even mentioned seeing her text "Happy Birthday, Gorgeous!"
He smiled at me and said, "No problem. You are the most important thing in my life. She is the type of person that just gets really close to crossing the line of inappropriateness. If you want me to stop running with her, then done. She was just the only person that would reliably show up every...single...morning and run with me and kept me motivated but it's not worth it if you're uncomfortable. Will you please start running with me? We'll figure out what to do with the kids that early. And if you can't run that far, you can ride your bike or just stop early and I'll keep going. Even better if you could come with me to this running group."
DC Urban Moms...thank you very much!! I'm feeling A LOT better and I guess I'm going to start running now!
That's what I would do! If you're asking him to give up his running buddy (for perfectly understandable reasons, I would too--the "HB gorgeous" text, um no), then do your best to support him. Even if it's going halfway, or one of the other options he suggests.
I am so glad you approached him and I am especially glad you got such an amazing response from your husband! You are very fortunate. He sounds like a definite keeper!
Anonymous
11/06/2017 17:59
Subject: Re:He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Soooo much insecurity on this thread. I completely forgot that once you're married the ability to have platonic friends of the opposite sex becomes off-limits.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 17:44
Subject: He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Exercise revs the male libido - wife of a new runner here who is enjoying this. If he’s been taking it out on you, then I wouldn’t worry. If he’s not, your DH needs a treadmill.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 17:39
Subject: He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
I would ask him to stop running with her as the relationship seems flirty and that’s a lot of time to spend physically with another woman. I just think it could become an awfully easy way to fall into an affair. Affairs happen even when your spouse is a good person and loves you.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 17:10
Subject: He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
No absolutely no. And you know that or you wouldn't be asking the question. Just no. Tell him to stop now.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 16:53
Subject: Re:He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Anonymous wrote:OP HERE.
Does everyone want to know how this turned out?
He came home for lunch and I told him I wanted to talk about the situation again. Because of all of your helpful posts, you gave me the confidence to tell him I didn't like him running with her so often and that I called Pacers and found a running group that he could join two days a week at 5am. I even mentioned seeing her text "Happy Birthday, Gorgeous!"
He smiled at me and said, "No problem. You are the most important thing in my life. She is the type of person that just gets really close to crossing the line of inappropriateness. If you want me to stop running with her, then done. She was just the only person that would reliably show up every...single...morning and run with me and kept me motivated but it's not worth it if you're uncomfortable. Will you please start running with me? We'll figure out what to do with the kids that early. And if you can't run that far, you can ride your bike or just stop early and I'll keep going. Even better if you could come with me to this running group."
DC Urban Moms...thank you very much!! I'm feeling A LOT better and I guess I'm going to start running now!
That's what I would do! If you're asking him to give up his running buddy (for perfectly understandable reasons, I would too--the "HB gorgeous" text, um no), then do your best to support him. Even if it's going halfway, or one of the other options he suggests.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 16:50
Subject: He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Her text to him calling him gorgeous is a red flag. I don’t know about others, but when I work out (cyclist) sometimes my libido gets cranking (no pun intended), so working out with a 30 something hottie would create the perfect environment for the potential for bad behavior.