Anonymous
Post 09/16/2017 23:13     Subject: Women, be honest, if your husband was fat
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's a turn-off. My DH has always been overweight, but when we dated/got married I was trying to be a good person and not make my romantic decisions based on looks. We had okay sex back when we were dating, but there was never really any intense attraction or chemistry.

Now I'm not really attracted at all and have little interest in sex. And as a PP stated, it's also about the behavior around being fat. Anytime we go to a restaurant he asks for the largest item on the menu and I watch him wolf down the entire thing. It's disgusting. He also sits around all day doing nothing, which is a huge turn-off. I work really hard to maintain the body I had in my 20s, it's frustrating that he won't do the same. To make things worse, I recently ran into an ex who had the most incredible body I'd ever seen when we dated, and it's gotten even better. The guy was nuts, but I miss being that attracted to someone.

There are a lot of positives in our relationship, and we certainly won't get divorced over it, but what I wouldn't do to run my hands over a six pack again!


This annoys me so much. There is so much pressure put on women to do this, constantly- never on men. And then people wonder why their wives have no libido! Stop pressuring women to be "not shallow" and date/marry people that don't make them hot! It's such total BS for everyone!


I agree, but have found that attractive men tend to want to play the field and not settle down until they are older (if at all). So your options are a hot guy who won't stick around, an average looking guy, or an older guy.


In my experience this has not been true. I have dated lots of attractive men that were interested in settling down. I think part of it is having confidence and a total sense of self worth and what you bring to the table- something women are also socialized not to have. But sometimes women discount attractive men immediately because of exactly what you said
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2017 23:12     Subject: Women, be honest, if your husband was fat
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Fat men appear to have really small penises. Even if they don't, it makes them look that way. That's a huge gross factor right there.


That's gross?????

A man cannot change the size of his dick. I was born this way is very true



Yes. You cannot change a busted face either- both are gross.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2017 23:11     Subject: Women, be honest, if your husband was fat
Anonymous wrote:Fat men appear to have really small penises. Even if they don't, it makes them look that way. That's a huge gross factor right there.


That's gross?????

A man cannot change the size of his dick. I was born this way is very true

Anonymous
Post 09/16/2017 22:39     Subject: Women, be honest, if your husband was fat
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's a turn-off. My DH has always been overweight, but when we dated/got married I was trying to be a good person and not make my romantic decisions based on looks. We had okay sex back when we were dating, but there was never really any intense attraction or chemistry.

Now I'm not really attracted at all and have little interest in sex. And as a PP stated, it's also about the behavior around being fat. Anytime we go to a restaurant he asks for the largest item on the menu and I watch him wolf down the entire thing. It's disgusting. He also sits around all day doing nothing, which is a huge turn-off. I work really hard to maintain the body I had in my 20s, it's frustrating that he won't do the same. To make things worse, I recently ran into an ex who had the most incredible body I'd ever seen when we dated, and it's gotten even better. The guy was nuts, but I miss being that attracted to someone.

There are a lot of positives in our relationship, and we certainly won't get divorced over it, but what I wouldn't do to run my hands over a six pack again!


This annoys me so much. There is so much pressure put on women to do this, constantly- never on men. And then people wonder why their wives have no libido! Stop pressuring women to be "not shallow" and date/marry people that don't make them hot! It's such total BS for everyone!


I agree, but have found that attractive men tend to want to play the field and not settle down until they are older (if at all). So your options are a hot guy who won't stick around, an average looking guy, or an older guy.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2017 22:17     Subject: Women, be honest, if your husband was fat
Agree getting fat is far less attractive than losing a limb in an accident. Laziness (getting fat) is a complete turn off, man or woman.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2017 19:27     Subject: Women, be honest, if your husband was fat
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH did get extremely fat. I could hardly stomach having sex with him. The wonderful thing about being a heterosexual female is that you can tell your partner "You are fat lose weight and then I'll start have sex with you again". My husband didn't like my message, but he wasn't mortally wounded by reality, so he lost 80lbs and looks even better than the day we married and we now have a healthy sex life. It's nice to be married to a desireable man who is motivated to be, and remain healthy.


No way in hell a heterosexual man could say that to his wife without utterly crushing her spirit and confidence.


Yup, which is exactly why I'm so glad I'm a heterosexual woman. I would never ever be able to deal with the hypersensitivities of most women. Of course there are exceptions on both sides.

My DH wanted sex, i wanted the fit man i first married back in order to want to have sex. He took that seriously, double downed and i got a man hotter and harder than the one I married. He's not complaining now.


Did he really not make the connection between his weight gain and your lack of desire until you told him to lose weight?


No he did not make the connection, he does not deal in smoke signals. We speak very directly to each other. Minimizes conflict and confusion.


What will you do if your DH ever gets into a car accident or gets a serious disease that deforms his body, like losing a limb or getting a huge scar over his chest or face?


A missing limb wouldn't bother me. Double points he still runs. I love running the Army 10miler amd seeing all the amputees, it is so inspirational. Jothing makes me kick it into high gear than seeing an amputee blaze by me.

I definitly don't find circumstances people can't control unattractive. However there is something terribly unatractive about a fat lazy person who is squandering their youth on obesity.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2017 14:53     Subject: Women, be honest, if your husband was fat
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH did get extremely fat. I could hardly stomach having sex with him. The wonderful thing about being a heterosexual female is that you can tell your partner "You are fat lose weight and then I'll start have sex with you again". My husband didn't like my message, but he wasn't mortally wounded by reality, so he lost 80lbs and looks even better than the day we married and we now have a healthy sex life. It's nice to be married to a desireable man who is motivated to be, and remain healthy.


No way in hell a heterosexual man could say that to his wife without utterly crushing her spirit and confidence.


Yup, which is exactly why I'm so glad I'm a heterosexual woman. I would never ever be able to deal with the hypersensitivities of most women. Of course there are exceptions on both sides.

My DH wanted sex, i wanted the fit man i first married back in order to want to have sex. He took that seriously, double downed and i got a man hotter and harder than the one I married. He's not complaining now.


Did he really not make the connection between his weight gain and your lack of desire until you told him to lose weight?


No he did not make the connection, he does not deal in smoke signals. We speak very directly to each other. Minimizes conflict and confusion.


What will you do if your DH ever gets into a car accident or gets a serious disease that deforms his body, like losing a limb or getting a huge scar over his chest or face?
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2017 14:19     Subject: Women, be honest, if your husband was fat
Anonymous wrote:It's a turn-off. My DH has always been overweight, but when we dated/got married I was trying to be a good person and not make my romantic decisions based on looks. We had okay sex back when we were dating, but there was never really any intense attraction or chemistry.

Now I'm not really attracted at all and have little interest in sex. And as a PP stated, it's also about the behavior around being fat. Anytime we go to a restaurant he asks for the largest item on the menu and I watch him wolf down the entire thing. It's disgusting. He also sits around all day doing nothing, which is a huge turn-off. I work really hard to maintain the body I had in my 20s, it's frustrating that he won't do the same. To make things worse, I recently ran into an ex who had the most incredible body I'd ever seen when we dated, and it's gotten even better. The guy was nuts, but I miss being that attracted to someone.

There are a lot of positives in our relationship, and we certainly won't get divorced over it, but what I wouldn't do to run my hands over a six pack again!


This annoys me so much. There is so much pressure put on women to do this, constantly- never on men. And then people wonder why their wives have no libido! Stop pressuring women to be "not shallow" and date/marry people that don't make them hot! It's such total BS for everyone!
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2017 14:17     Subject: Women, be honest, if your husband was fat
Anonymous wrote:Men get fat when they do not have sex. So if you see a fat husband he is not having sex. You can easily tell the couple who do not have sex.


Yes, and there's a very good reason for this, lol...
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2017 14:17     Subject: Women, be honest, if your husband was fat
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Never had sex with a fat man and I don't think I'd like it.


Never know til your try.


No thanks.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2017 10:59     Subject: Women, be honest, if your husband was fat
Men get fat when they do not have sex. So if you see a fat husband he is not having sex. You can easily tell the couple who do not have sex.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2017 10:44     Subject: Women, be honest, if your husband was fat
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH did get extremely fat. I could hardly stomach having sex with him. The wonderful thing about being a heterosexual female is that you can tell your partner "You are fat lose weight and then I'll start have sex with you again". My husband didn't like my message, but he wasn't mortally wounded by reality, so he lost 80lbs and looks even better than the day we married and we now have a healthy sex life. It's nice to be married to a desireable man who is motivated to be, and remain healthy.


No way in hell a heterosexual man could say that to his wife without utterly crushing her spirit and confidence.


Yup, which is exactly why I'm so glad I'm a heterosexual woman. I would never ever be able to deal with the hypersensitivities of most women. Of course there are exceptions on both sides.

My DH wanted sex, i wanted the fit man i first married back in order to want to have sex. He took that seriously, double downed and i got a man hotter and harder than the one I married. He's not complaining now.


Did he really not make the connection between his weight gain and your lack of desire until you told him to lose weight?


No he did not make the connection, he does not deal in smoke signals. We speak very directly to each other. Minimizes conflict and confusion.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2017 09:47     Subject: Re:Women, be honest, if your husband was fat
Anonymous wrote:DH gained a lot of weight due to a medical event several years ago that took him from being overweight to obese. His ongoing health issues have largely prevented him from losing that weight. The health issue (or possibly the weight gain, not sure which) has also pretty much eliminated his sex drive and since my sex drive is usually more in response to my partner's, it's led to a decrease in my own drive. I'm not going to lie, it is definitely tough sometimes, but I'm much more worried about his health than our diminished sex life.

I hope he gets better. Best of luck to you both
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2017 09:43     Subject: Women, be honest, if your husband was fat
Anonymous wrote:I love that you can tell men to lose weight and they do it. I don't get women that can't take any criticism even when stated kindly. No way would I have sex with an obese man. It's gross thinking about it.


Not all men can take it. My DH often asks me if he's fat. If I'm truthful and say yes, he pouts and retreats because his feelings are hurt. If I say no, he keeps pestering me to tell him the truth.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2017 09:35     Subject: Women, be honest, if your husband was fat
Anonymous wrote:Sex can be great exercise. If you want to help him lose weight, maybe you should increase the frequency. Screw him til he's sore. Make it so he needs to get off the couch and out of the house so you can't attack him again.


Np but in my experience fat men want to be on the bottom since they're physically not okay being on top.