Anonymous
09/06/2017 10:29
Subject: He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much
Anonymous wrote:Hi, Op here. We moved in together in April and it seems that things have been challenging since then. We have our great times, he actually is a very good partner with housework, clean up etc. It seems to me that he is forgetting to consider me when he makes plans. He goes out with his friends, every weekend on a Friday or Saturday and just makes the plans without asking me prior if we have anything going on. Doesn't come home when he says, will just go to the gym. I will have dinner ready for our normal time, and he will come home 1 hour later saying that he was still at work, or went to the gym, or grabbed a drink with a buddy. He buys tickets to sporting events or concerts to attend with his buddies and doesn't ask me if I want to go or even mention it prior to make sure that we don't have anything going on. So, basically he said that my nagging is around not trusting him or giving him the freedom he needs. The most recent example was buying a ticket to attend a concert with a bunch of his buddies. He just did it, didn't mention it or say anything to me (which means he didn't invite me either). It's the same weekend my friend is getting married, I'M IN THE WEDDING, and he's known about this date for a long time. When I reminded him of this, he said he forgot and was sorry, but that since he doesn't know them, that I should be ok going without him. WHAT? So, I gave him a hard time. This is not right, he said that I hassle and nag him about stuff whenever he makes plans without me. That's the sum of our problem. I do give him a hard time when he does all this stuff. Maybe I should approach it differently with him, not in an accusatory way, a few I have let go and haven't said anything because we didn't have plans anyways, we were just hanging at home that weekend, so it didn't affect other plans. So, yes every time he makes plans without checking with me (out of common courtesy) I give him a hard time, and every time this happens, I give him an even harder time, aka higher level nagging.Anonymous wrote:Something doesn't add up here.
OP has been with this guy for 3 years. And he was happy enough with her to get engaged 6 months ago.
Surely, OP hasn't suddenly become a nag just in the last 6 months.
Whether OP is a nag or not is irrelevant. This guy was fine with her 6 months ago and knew her for 2.5 years at that time. So he knew what she is like and still got engaged.
OP didn't change. Something else does.
My guess is that the guy met someone else and is having doubts about getting married and is using the nagging as an excuse.
That is not to suggest OP shouldn't work on herself if she believes she nags people. But I would caution OP in thinking that she is going to win back this guy b/c I'm not convinced nagging is the issue.
He didn't break up with you because you nag, he broke up with you because he still wants to act single and do whatever he wants with no consideration for anyone else. Maybe you did nag, but ultimately, he just doesn't care about your feelings. Nobody in their right mind would put up with someone who disappears like he does.
You dodged a huge bullet. Trust me, having children with someone like that is absolute hell. Keep the ring, pawn it, and use the money to take yourself on a fabulous vacation to help forget about this loser. And stop trying to convince him to take you back, you can do better.
Anonymous
09/06/2017 10:21
Subject: He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much
OP, he is an adult and you don't have kids. I get being upset about the wedding weekend but the other times who cares? You wouldn't invite him to wine night with your girlfriends. And so what if he wants to go to the gym? Maybe he doesn't want a home cooked meal every night and to be on a damn meal schedule. I'm a woman and I sure don't want to be boxed into a set dinner time by someone I'm not even married to yet and I don't have kids with. You sound very controlling and whiny. And also like you could use a hobby or some social outings yourself.
Anonymous
09/06/2017 10:18
Subject: Re:He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All the bitter women on here are hilarious. If you hate your lives so much, do something to change it. HINT: Coming on DCUM and spewing your bitterness is probably not the answer.
This young lady admitted that she is a nag. She offers NO evidence that her fiancé was a bad person, didn't do his part, and that she went overboard with the nagging. So, I am curious as to why the angry DCUM women come out in full force, completely ignore the OP who asked for how to convince her fiancé she can relax and get him back.
Instead, you all just make fools of yourselves by personalizing a situation that is not your own, and telling this girl she did nothing wrong and to hate men and become a lesbian.
Yep!
Feminism is cancer
Feminism is a cancer to man babies, yes. Men benefit from marriage much more than women do so if you are a man who is insecure and desperate for a wife to improve your life attacking feminism might be a good strategy.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-therapy/201510/is-marriage-worth-the-trouble-women%3famp
I am a woman and I feel sorry for you that you don't feel that you've benefited from marriage. Sounds like you settled and married the wrong person, probably just so you could start pumping out babies and forsake everything else for that. Perhaps if less women settled so they could do that, they'd be happier.
Anonymous
09/06/2017 09:45
Subject: Re:He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the guy hasn't figured out he's not single anymore. That's the problem, not nagging, and he made a mistake by agreeing to move in together. Which is good. You figured this out before a wedding.
+1 Better to know now OP. This is what your life will be like. Start your grieving process, get your deposits back and tell everyone its off.
Anonymous
09/06/2017 09:33
Subject: Re:He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much
Sounds like the guy hasn't figured out he's not single anymore. That's the problem, not nagging, and he made a mistake by agreeing to move in together. Which is good. You figured this out before a wedding.
Anonymous
09/06/2017 09:21
Subject: He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much
Anonymous wrote:Hi, Op here. We moved in together in April and it seems that things have been challenging since then. We have our great times, he actually is a very good partner with housework, clean up etc. It seems to me that he is forgetting to consider me when he makes plans. He goes out with his friends, every weekend on a Friday or Saturday and just makes the plans without asking me prior if we have anything going on. Doesn't come home when he says, will just go to the gym. I will have dinner ready for our normal time, and he will come home 1 hour later saying that he was still at work, or went to the gym, or grabbed a drink with a buddy. He buys tickets to sporting events or concerts to attend with his buddies and doesn't ask me if I want to go or even mention it prior to make sure that we don't have anything going on. So, basically he said that my nagging is around not trusting him or giving him the freedom he needs. The most recent example was buying a ticket to attend a concert with a bunch of his buddies. He just did it, didn't mention it or say anything to me (which means he didn't invite me either). It's the same weekend my friend is getting married, I'M IN THE WEDDING, and he's known about this date for a long time. When I reminded him of this, he said he forgot and was sorry, but that since he doesn't know them, that I should be ok going without him. WHAT? So, I gave him a hard time. This is not right, he said that I hassle and nag him about stuff whenever he makes plans without me. That's the sum of our problem. I do give him a hard time when he does all this stuff. Maybe I should approach it differently with him, not in an accusatory way, a few I have let go and haven't said anything because we didn't have plans anyways, we were just hanging at home that weekend, so it didn't affect other plans. So, yes every time he makes plans without checking with me (out of common courtesy) I give him a hard time, and every time this happens, I give him an even harder time, aka higher level nagging.Anonymous wrote:Something doesn't add up here.
OP has been with this guy for 3 years. And he was happy enough with her to get engaged 6 months ago.
Surely, OP hasn't suddenly become a nag just in the last 6 months.
Whether OP is a nag or not is irrelevant. This guy was fine with her 6 months ago and knew her for 2.5 years at that time. So he knew what she is like and still got engaged.
OP didn't change. Something else does.
My guess is that the guy met someone else and is having doubts about getting married and is using the nagging as an excuse.
That is not to suggest OP shouldn't work on herself if she believes she nags people. But I would caution OP in thinking that she is going to win back this guy b/c I'm not convinced nagging is the issue.
Whoa, HOLD UP OP. SOunds like he is passive aggressive and not marriage material whatsoever. Then he escalated his bad, disrespectful behavior by attacking you for asking what's going on. He pushed you in the corner where you either had to be a doormat to all his bad behavior or call him out. You called him out and instead of taking personal responsibility or explaining or apologizing, he called you a Nag. He is really a loser at heart. Don't fall for this next time.
SOrry, it is hard to break off an engagement and I wish he would have handled it maturely but you don't deserve to be treated like this. He is still a child, running around with his boy friends and ignoring you and your relationship.
Anonymous
09/06/2017 08:56
Subject: He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much
Hi, Op here. We moved in together in April and it seems that things have been challenging since then. We have our great times, he actually is a very good partner with housework, clean up etc. It seems to me that he is forgetting to consider me when he makes plans. He goes out with his friends, every weekend on a Friday or Saturday and just makes the plans without asking me prior if we have anything going on. Doesn't come home when he says, will just go to the gym. I will have dinner ready for our normal time, and he will come home 1 hour later saying that he was still at work, or went to the gym, or grabbed a drink with a buddy. He buys tickets to sporting events or concerts to attend with his buddies and doesn't ask me if I want to go or even mention it prior to make sure that we don't have anything going on. So, basically he said that my nagging is around not trusting him or giving him the freedom he needs. The most recent example was buying a ticket to attend a concert with a bunch of his buddies. He just did it, didn't mention it or say anything to me (which means he didn't invite me either). It's the same weekend my friend is getting married, I'M IN THE WEDDING, and he's known about this date for a long time. When I reminded him of this, he said he forgot and was sorry, but that since he doesn't know them, that I should be ok going without him. WHAT? So, I gave him a hard time. This is not right, he said that I hassle and nag him about stuff whenever he makes plans without me. That's the sum of our problem. I do give him a hard time when he does all this stuff. Maybe I should approach it differently with him, not in an accusatory way, a few I have let go and haven't said anything because we didn't have plans anyways, we were just hanging at home that weekend, so it didn't affect other plans. So, yes every time he makes plans without checking with me (out of common courtesy) I give him a hard time, and every time this happens, I give him an even harder time, aka higher level nagging.Anonymous wrote:Something doesn't add up here.
OP has been with this guy for 3 years. And he was happy enough with her to get engaged 6 months ago.
Surely, OP hasn't suddenly become a nag just in the last 6 months.
Whether OP is a nag or not is irrelevant. This guy was fine with her 6 months ago and knew her for 2.5 years at that time. So he knew what she is like and still got engaged.
OP didn't change. Something else does.
My guess is that the guy met someone else and is having doubts about getting married and is using the nagging as an excuse.
That is not to suggest OP shouldn't work on herself if she believes she nags people. But I would caution OP in thinking that she is going to win back this guy b/c I'm not convinced nagging is the issue.
Anonymous
09/06/2017 08:40
Subject: Re:He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It's none of your god damn business whether or not he did it. You're not in his relationship.
I'll never put up with slave driving broads. Ruin someone else's life.
During the course of my marriage I averaged 3 hours less of sleep each day than my wife (she went to bed early, got up late, took naps). Over the course of the marriage, this was over 900 days of additional sleep that she got (nearly three years!). During many of those hours of lost sleep I as working on the household or at a job.
And you seem sane, to be averaging out hours of sleep
Anonymous
09/06/2017 08:37
Subject: Re:He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much
Anonymous wrote:It's none of your god damn business whether or not he did it. You're not in his relationship.
I'll never put up with slave driving broads. Ruin someone else's life.
During the course of my marriage I averaged 3 hours less of sleep each day than my wife (she went to bed early, got up late, took naps). Over the course of the marriage, this was over 900 days of additional sleep that she got (nearly three years!). During many of those hours of lost sleep I as working on the household or at a job.
Anonymous
09/05/2017 23:43
Subject: Re:He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All the bitter women on here are hilarious. If you hate your lives so much, do something to change it. HINT: Coming on DCUM and spewing your bitterness is probably not the answer.
This young lady admitted that she is a nag. She offers NO evidence that her fiancé was a bad person, didn't do his part, and that she went overboard with the nagging. So, I am curious as to why the angry DCUM women come out in full force, completely ignore the OP who asked for how to convince her fiancé she can relax and get him back.
Instead, you all just make fools of yourselves by personalizing a situation that is not your own, and telling this girl she did nothing wrong and to hate men and become a lesbian.
Yep!
Feminism is cancer
Feminism is a cancer to man babies, yes. Men benefit from marriage much more than women do so if you are a man who is insecure and desperate for a wife to improve your life attacking feminism might be a good strategy.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-therapy/201510/is-marriage-worth-the-trouble-women%3famp
Anonymous
09/05/2017 23:39
Subject: Re:He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All the bitter women on here are hilarious. If you hate your lives so much, do something to change it. HINT: Coming on DCUM and spewing your bitterness is probably not the answer.
This young lady admitted that she is a nag. She offers NO evidence that her fiancé was a bad person, didn't do his part, and that she went overboard with the nagging. So, I am curious as to why the angry DCUM women come out in full force, completely ignore the OP who asked for how to convince her fiancé she can relax and get him back.
Instead, you all just make fools of yourselves by personalizing a situation that is not your own, and telling this girl she did nothing wrong and to hate men and become a lesbian.
Yep!
Feminism is cancer
Anonymous
09/05/2017 23:22
Subject: He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much
Something doesn't add up here.
OP has been with this guy for 3 years. And he was happy enough with her to get engaged 6 months ago.
Surely, OP hasn't suddenly become a nag just in the last 6 months.
Whether OP is a nag or not is irrelevant. This guy was fine with her 6 months ago and knew her for 2.5 years at that time. So he knew what she is like and still got engaged.
OP didn't change. Something else does.
My guess is that the guy met someone else and is having doubts about getting married and is using the nagging as an excuse.
That is not to suggest OP shouldn't work on herself if she believes she nags people. But I would caution OP in thinking that she is going to win back this guy b/c I'm not convinced nagging is the issue.
OP has been with this guy for 3 years. And he was happy enough with her to get engaged 6 months ago.
Surely, OP hasn't suddenly become a nag just in the last 6 months.
Whether OP is a nag or not is irrelevant. This guy was fine with her 6 months ago and knew her for 2.5 years at that time. So he knew what she is like and still got engaged.
OP didn't change. Something else does.
My guess is that the guy met someone else and is having doubts about getting married and is using the nagging as an excuse.
That is not to suggest OP shouldn't work on herself if she believes she nags people. But I would caution OP in thinking that she is going to win back this guy b/c I'm not convinced nagging is the issue.
Anonymous
09/05/2017 22:46
Subject: He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much
I love it how my Ex would take two 30 minute dumps each morning from 6:30-8am just to avoid doing anything with or for his three young children.
I could only nag so much, before I drew the line and divorced the loser.
I could only nag so much, before I drew the line and divorced the loser.
Anonymous
09/05/2017 22:40
Subject: He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much
Anonymous wrote:Woman: You promised you'd cut the lawn 4 inches ago. come on!
ManChild: I'm busy on my iPhone Very Important Business & News Reading.
Yep. And "very important business & news reading" is code for- looking up memes and looking at porn
Anonymous
09/05/2017 22:28
Subject: He broke up with me because he said that I nag too much
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Lots of men are really caught up in the fantasy of a woman who will bring in income, cook, clean, set up their social calendars and be sex kittens. Any expectations for equality, especially as regards household chores, are called "nagging."
+100000
Truest statement ever posted on DCUM
Disagree.