Anonymous wrote:Ok, so here is what the writer writes:

"Instead, try shifting your appearance a notch or two up your priorities list. Cultivate an active lifestyle or carve out the time to work out regularly, and curb your caloric indulgences. Wear clothes that flatter you instead of those that are just easiest to reach for. Even in the busiest of schedules, find the five minutes to put on a little lipstick or a spritz of the perfume you used back when the two of you were dating. He’ll appreciate you making the effort."

This is... pretty basic. See, despite the accusations of DC women being "frumpy" I see the majority of women in this area doing this.

Do you know where women look terrible? Out in Trump-land. I go back home and most of the women are obese, wearing camo or ill-fitting t-shirts or pajamas or mom jeans for obese women. No make-up, hair looking awful, grey, frizzy. Women in my neighborhood look more put together even when they are out doing yard work. I wish that I were exaggerating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check your BMI here. No more lies or BS about being "big boned" or "full figured." There are countless DCUM threads about this. DHs -- make more money and communicate more. DWs -- talk/complain less, have more sex, and have a BMI <25 (in the normal/healthy zone): https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm

Wow. I'm a lot skinnier than I thought. Time to go eat some ice cream! Thanks PP!

My H was so pissed when my BMI was smack dab in the middle and he was overweight.

Why are men so often delusional about their own weight? It's like take all female weight insecurities and reverse it to men- they could be 50 pounds overweight and think they have a Baywatch bod

Hahaha UGH so true.

I agree with the premise of the article, but it really goes both ways much more than the article indicates. My husband is out of shape and I'm sorry but try as I might a soft, flabby, weak body just doesn't do it for me. It's not hot

Yes!! I think that's why the tone of the article truly annoys me and so many other women. She says several times that women don't care about their husband's bodies, and are much concerned with money/power. Beyond how insulting that is, it's simply... not true. I have never dated anyone I've found physically unattractive, and I think it's unfortunate how female desire keeps being made to be about things beyond looks, like we're supposed to be these martyrs. Newsflash: women don't ogle Chris Hemsworth because of his bank account!

I don't think I would have an issue with her saying, you need to stay attractive for your spouse. Fine. But then if that's the deal it has to go for both parties. I'm not passing on the ice cream and slaving at the gym while my husband grows out a dad bod. It's simply unfair, and it forces female desire and sexual attraction to, once again, take a backseat to the male perspective.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check your BMI here. No more lies or BS about being "big boned" or "full figured." There are countless DCUM threads about this. DHs -- make more money and communicate more. DWs -- talk/complain less, have more sex, and have a BMI <25 (in the normal/healthy zone): https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm

Wow. I'm a lot skinnier than I thought. Time to go eat some ice cream! Thanks PP!

My H was so pissed when my BMI was smack dab in the middle and he was overweight.

Why are men so often delusional about their own weight? It's like take all female weight insecurities and reverse it to men- they could be 50 pounds overweight and think they have a Baywatch bod

Hahaha UGH so true.

I agree with the premise of the article, but it really goes both ways much more than the article indicates. My husband is out of shape and I'm sorry but try as I might a soft, flabby, weak body just doesn't do it for me. It's not hot

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check your BMI here. No more lies or BS about being "big boned" or "full figured." There are countless DCUM threads about this. DHs -- make more money and communicate more. DWs -- talk/complain less, have more sex, and have a BMI <25 (in the normal/healthy zone): https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm

Wow. I'm a lot skinnier than I thought. Time to go eat some ice cream! Thanks PP!

My H was so pissed when my BMI was smack dab in the middle and he was overweight.

Why are men so often delusional about their own weight? It's like take all female weight insecurities and reverse it to men- they could be 50 pounds overweight and think they have a Baywatch bod

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check your BMI here. No more lies or BS about being "big boned" or "full figured." There are countless DCUM threads about this. DHs -- make more money and communicate more. DWs -- talk/complain less, have more sex, and have a BMI <25 (in the normal/healthy zone): https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm

Wow. I'm a lot skinnier than I thought. Time to go eat some ice cream! Thanks PP!

My H was so pissed when my BMI was smack dab in the middle and he was overweight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For some reason everyone seems refuse to accept the fact that their spouses have needs. And they refuse to accept the fact that life just isn't fair. People's needs vary of course but for the most part:

DH's you should be:
- Talking to your wives every day without distractions from TV, etc
- Being fiscally responsible - earn as much as you can and don't spend recklessly.
- Helping around the house - at least 50% of the housework
- Being a good/engaged parent

DW's you should be:
- having sex with your husbands.
- making reasonable efforts to stay attractive to him

Of course a couple of these could move between columns, but why are these so hard to accept?

I guess what is so frustrating to me as a DW is that all of the things from your DH column are implicitly expected from DWs as well or even much more so, but they are not acknowledged.
It's not like I could just ignore him when he has a problem and wants to talk, quit working and spend a bunch of money, stop doing laundry/cooking/housework, and let the kids watch TV and play video games while eating cheetos all day and still be a good wife as long as I didn't get fat. By that logic, most heroin addicts are good wives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For some reason everyone seems refuse to accept the fact that their spouses have needs. And they refuse to accept the fact that life just isn't fair. People's needs vary of course but for the most part:

DH's you should be:
- Talking to your wives every day without distractions from TV, etc
- Being fiscally responsible - earn as much as you can and don't spend recklessly.
- Helping around the house - at least 50% of the housework
- Being a good/engaged parent

DW's you should be:
- having sex with your husbands.
- making reasonable efforts to stay attractive to him

Of course a couple of these could move between columns, but why are these so hard to accept?

I guess what is so frustrating to me as a DW is that all of the things from your DH column are implicitly expected from DWs as well or even much more so, but they are not acknowledged.
It's not like I could just ignore him when he has a problem and wants to talk, quit working and spend a bunch of money, stop doing laundry/cooking/housework, and let the kids watch TV and play video games while eating cheetos all day and still be a good wife as long as I didn't get fat. By that logic, most heroin addicts are good wives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't see anything wrong with this opinion. I share the same one. (Woman)

+1.

But, according to OP, perhaps everyone who wants to conserve his/ her marriage is a conservative...

Men are just as interesting in their wives being good mothers and having their own intellectual interests as they are in looks. Then again, I've been married almost 30 years, so my marriage is based on more than appearances.

I've been with DH for almost 30 yrs too and at this point taking care of oneself means more than just looks. Staying healthy and fit is a priority and we exercise together because we don't want to be decrepit and old and unable to walk unassisted in our golden years.

If my husband were in great shape, maybe I wouldn't be 20 pounds overweight, but since he's at least 40 pounds overweight, I think I'm good just working out and following the 80/20 rule in my diet.

My DH has lost over 50 lbs in a year exercising with me and it's a great couples activity without the kids. No more sleep apnea, no more knee/joint issues (does not need knee replacement) and no longer a borderline diabetic! So much more healthier and happier (he looks hot!) Can run 6 miles whereas before he was wheezing walking 50 yds uphill. I want him to live a long time and not end up in a wheelchair like his father and being a burden to our children and me. As you get older, being in shape is more than about looks.

I can run 6 miles at a time without stopping and I'm still overweight. Must be great to be able to lose weight.

Anonymous wrote:For some reason everyone seems refuse to accept the fact that their spouses have needs. And they refuse to accept the fact that life just isn't fair. People's needs vary of course but for the most part:

DH's you should be:
- Talking to your wives every day without distractions from TV, etc
- Being fiscally responsible - earn as much as you can and don't spend recklessly.
- Helping around the house - at least 50% of the housework
- Being a good/engaged parent

DW's you should be:
- having sex with your husbands.
- making reasonable efforts to stay attractive to him

Of course a couple of these could move between columns, but why are these so hard to accept?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check your BMI here. No more lies or BS about being "big boned" or "full figured." There are countless DCUM threads about this. DHs -- make more money and communicate more. DWs -- talk/complain less, have more sex, and have a BMI <25 (in the normal/healthy zone): https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm

Wow. I'm a lot skinnier than I thought. Time to go eat some ice cream! Thanks PP!

My H was so pissed when my BMI was smack dab in the middle and he was overweight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check your BMI here. No more lies or BS about being "big boned" or "full figured." There are countless DCUM threads about this. DHs -- make more money and communicate more. DWs -- talk/complain less, have more sex, and have a BMI <25 (in the normal/healthy zone): https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm

Wow. I'm a lot skinnier than I thought. Time to go eat some ice cream! Thanks PP!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with her a 100% and I am a woman who considers herself a feminist. I think the push towards this modern gender-less society is not making anyone happy. Men have had their balls taken away from them by criticizing and demonizing every masculine trait. Women are now miserable expected to work long hours, make money AND have a husband and children. This is diplopia.

Women need love and attention and care. They are delicate creatures and they need to be kept well maintained. Look at Arab or Persian women. Thats how a woman is supposed to look. Their husbands keep them flush with money and comfort.

This is where men come in too. They need to go back to being primary breadwinners and take on the hard job of earning a living.

+1. A feminist man here and I agree with you and the author. I expected to hate the article by it's title but it rings true. Especially the question asking women how they would feel if their man gained 20 pounds vs. him having long term unemployment. Judging by these boards, the latter triggers far, far more complaints than the former.

Men and women each have obligations to each other but they aren't measured the same.