I'm a pretty firm believer that a happy medium is usually the best solution. Why does it have to be either a pressure cooker magnet/private or a crappy public? I would rather have my kid go to a well regarded neighborhood public where they can get involved in the community, have a strong social circle, and use that as a base to challenge themselves in ways that they chose - taking a heavy course load, getting involved in research projects, whatever it may be. They're still kids.

Anonymous wrote:Dumb thread. OP's kid goes to an elite high school, which produces elite overachieving kids. Kids groomed to be overachievers from age 5-17 are going to be top of the class if they end up at non "elite" college.

I knew quite a few top of the class kids from decent middle class public high schools who went to top 25 universities and folded. They were soooooo underprepared, both academically and socially.

note: by folded I mean all A rockstar in high school students obsessed with becoming MDs who merely became nurses, obsessed with becoming lawyers become teachers, things like that. it's like they were punched in the face at college and crumbled. dreams died quickly around all the aggressive kids.

Dumb thread. OP's kid goes to an elite high school, which produces elite overachieving kids. Kids groomed to be overachievers from age 5-17 are going to be top of the class if they end up at non "elite" college.

I knew quite a few top of the class kids from decent middle class public high schools who went to top 25 universities and folded. They were soooooo underprepared, both academically and socially.

Anonymous wrote:NP here. This thread is a few months old but I find it fascinating and am wondering if others have more to share. Ultimately the bottom line here is that we are all trying to do what's best for our kids based on our own experiences.

My experience: I'm from a solidly middle class family and went to a super mediocre public high school. Huge, not well-regarded locally, problems with gangs. There were some good teachers, but I skated through with straight A's pretty easily. Landed at a top private college (now top 15, was top 10 when I attended) to follow my dream of attending med school. Man, I got rocked pretty hard when I first started college; I would agree with similar reports from others in this thread that I had some catch-up to do, as I realized fast that I really didn't know how to study as I had never had to work that hard. But.....I had a crew of friends who also started off pre-med, many from wealthy families that attended well-regarded private schools or nationally ranked publics, and I am the only one who made it through the pre-med track. I'm now a physician. So despite a rocky start it all worked out in the end.

My kids aren't high-school aged yet, but I intend to send them to our local public high school (very solid and well-regarded locally but not the best in the state....I'm not in DC). The selling point? Its diversity. One of the things that really shocked me when I got to undergrad was how blindingly white and economically privileged the majority of the students were, after having spent my formative years in extremely diverse public school environments, diverse not just racially but also socioeconomically. College was such a bubble. I don't want that for my kids as they grow up, nor the kind of fake, curated diversity that the local private schools seem to have. The literature on this shows that it's really the perseverance of the kid and their parents' education and level of involvement that leads to academic success, not the school itself. So it's my hope that attending a super-diverse, good-but-not-excellent public school can strike the best balance.

I hear what you're saying, but I have known many kids from excellent, involved families who have succumbed to negative peer pressure during their high school years and ended up not reaching the same level of educational/financial success as their parents. You want your kids to "be around" low SES kids, but what if it goes beyond just exposure? What if your kids actually become part of the group that get high across the street before school and doesn't value academic success? What if your daughter decided to become a hairdresser instead of going to college because that's the norm among her group of friends? Don't be too confident that your parenting will shield them from actually becoming part of the low SES group that you are trying to "expose" them to. Again, I have seen it happen many times.

NP here. This thread is a few months old but I find it fascinating and am wondering if others have more to share. Ultimately the bottom line here is that we are all trying to do what's best for our kids based on our own experiences.

My experience: I'm from a solidly middle class family and went to a super mediocre public high school. Huge, not well-regarded locally, problems with gangs. There were some good teachers, but I skated through with straight A's pretty easily. Landed at a top private college (now top 15, was top 10 when I attended) to follow my dream of attending med school. Man, I got rocked pretty hard when I first started college; I would agree with similar reports from others in this thread that I had some catch-up to do, as I realized fast that I really didn't know how to study as I had never had to work that hard. But.....I had a crew of friends who also started off pre-med, many from wealthy families that attended well-regarded private schools or nationally ranked publics, and I am the only one who made it through the pre-med track. I'm now a physician. So despite a rocky start it all worked out in the end.

My kids aren't high-school aged yet, but I intend to send them to our local public high school (very solid and well-regarded locally but not the best in the state....I'm not in DC). The selling point? Its diversity. One of the things that really shocked me when I got to undergrad was how blindingly white and economically privileged the majority of the students were, after having spent my formative years in extremely diverse public school environments, diverse not just racially but also socioeconomically. College was such a bubble. I don't want that for my kids as they grow up, nor the kind of fake, curated diversity that the local private schools seem to have. The literature on this shows that it's really the perseverance of the kid and their parents' education and level of involvement that leads to academic success, not the school itself. So it's my hope that attending a super-diverse, good-but-not-excellent public school can strike the best balance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids went to a local high school even though many of our neighbors moved to an adjacent enclave in order for their kids to attend far better-ranked high school. My kids graduated as top students. They had very high confidence in themselves and never realize their limitations until entering UVA and Northwestern, respectively.

It was really hard for them to adapt and catch up with classmates who were not only more informed and better trained but simply better prepared. My conclusion is that you should send your kids to a better high school regardless of perceived or real diminished elite college prospects.

Did they feel like they caught up with their peers from the better HS? If so, how long did it take?

They have good careers but my daughter wanted to go to medical school and didn't have the marks. In 2017 you can not stumble at all freshman year if you want to go to medical school or a law school or any other sought after graduate program. Also freshman year is fraternity life and student clubs, which are selective. If your kids get into a strong college after a so-so high school, I'd highly recommend a gap year.

This is why a challenging and rigorous program such as TJ etc. is very important and more important than trying to game the college admissions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids went to a local high school even though many of our neighbors moved to an adjacent enclave in order for their kids to attend far better-ranked high school. My kids graduated as top students. They had very high confidence in themselves and never realize their limitations until entering UVA and Northwestern, respectively.

It was really hard for them to adapt and catch up with classmates who were not only more informed and better trained but simply better prepared. My conclusion is that you should send your kids to a better high school regardless of perceived or real diminished elite college prospects.

Did they feel like they caught up with their peers from the better HS? If so, how long did it take?

They have good careers but my daughter wanted to go to medical school and didn't have the marks. In 2017 you can not stumble at all freshman year if you want to go to medical school or a law school or any other sought after graduate program. Also freshman year is fraternity life and student clubs, which are selective. If your kids get into a strong college after a so-so high school, I'd highly recommend a gap year.

I came pit of a crappy public high school and regret it. Phi Beta Kappa at a top 25 college. So, I could perform academically. But here were gaps in my knowledge that limited what I wanted to do. I was planning to do CS, but years of crappy math teachers mean I didn't have the foundation. I could plug and chug math problems, but did not really understand what was going on. I had always thought I was strong in math. Not so much. I switched to English which was better. But I was constantly missing allusions in literature -- the Bible, Greek and roman history, etc. that other kids got. When I hit law school and there was no room for errors, I really struggled my first year. I did succeed. But, my option felt more limited and it was harder for me than some of my peers. Smarts and determination will get you far in life. But a solid foundation never hurt anyone.

My kids are going to the strongest schools possible academically. It's very hard to cure a lack of real understanding about Algebra I and II when you are sitting in a college concrete math class.

Anonymous wrote:Our kids went to a local high school even though many of our neighbors moved to an adjacent enclave in order for their kids to attend far better-ranked high school. My kids graduated as top students. They had very high confidence in themselves and never realize their limitations until entering UVA and Northwestern, respectively.

It was really hard for them to adapt and catch up with classmates who were not only more informed and better trained but simply better prepared. My conclusion is that you should send your kids to a better high school regardless of perceived or real diminished elite college prospects.

Did they feel like they caught up with their peers from the better HS? If so, how long did it take?

Our kids went to a local high school even though many of our neighbors moved to an adjacent enclave in order for their kids to attend far better-ranked high school. My kids graduated as top students. They had very high confidence in themselves and never realize their limitations until entering UVA and Northwestern, respectively.

It was really hard for them to adapt and catch up with classmates who were not only more informed and better trained but simply better prepared. My conclusion is that you should send your kids to a better high school regardless of perceived or real diminished elite college prospects.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ DC, parents work for a think tank or in media. Connected. Angles. By hook or by crook, they're getting their kid into an Ivy. Not rich, upper middle class and grubby. You know the type.

You are nuts.

Are you the type?

I learned long ago that lumping any people into categories or "types" doesn't work. Its singularly narrow-minded.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ DC, parents work for a think tank or in media. Connected. Angles. By hook or by crook, they're getting their kid into an Ivy. Not rich, upper middle class and grubby. You know the type.

You are nuts.

Are you the type?

Anonymous wrote:^ DC, parents work for a think tank or in media. Connected. Angles. By hook or by crook, they're getting their kid into an Ivy. Not rich, upper middle class and grubby. You know the type.

You are nuts.

^ DC, parents work for a think tank or in media. Connected. Angles. By hook or by crook, they're getting their kid into an Ivy. Not rich, upper middle class and grubby. You know the type.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
At Wilson the kids going to Ivy's are mostly white students. Are you at a private school? That's where you see a lot of URM's going to Ivy's. At Wilson some Ivy admits are recruited athletes, but for the handful I know they really enjoy their sport and but probably still would've been admitted based on their academics and ECs.

The white Wilson kids heading to Ivies have connected parents who know how to play all the angles. I've seen it first hand.

What do you mean? What "angles"? Do you mean their excellent grades, public service and extra curriculars by any chance...?