Anonymous wrote:if you are only paying 45K for three kids, including after care, and are happy, you have hit a goldmine!

it works for us now, I am looking forward to life when we have to apply to school that go through 12th

if you are only paying 45K for three kids, including after care, and are happy, you have hit a goldmine!

-$340k income
One is $155 base with $135k in bonus potential which has never paid less than 75% in the past but revenue is on the decline and comp and headcount are often the first targets.
One is $50k govt worker
We are both the first to go to college, both from poverty, no parental help but we help our parents out financially
-$100k equity with $120k HELOC debt on a home worth $350k
-$200k 401k
-$20k stock
-$8k savings
-$300k unvested stock
-2 cars 2007 and 2011
-three Af Am/Hispanic kids one highly gifted
-$155k in student loan debt between us
-$6k summer camps
-PreK-8 school tuition and aftercare $45k for all three
-$2k other swim lessons, sports activities
-$80k credit debt between us

We are not expecting aid but will still apply. Will also consider 1) parochial or other schools that go through 12th after we leave our current school that are at a similar price point as we are paying now (if any exist), 2) paying for a good public school and 3) renting a home/apartment near a good public school as another option. Hoping we can stay private through 12th but don't think we can do it if more than $20k per kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do get to have an opinion on the financial decisions of others? And spare me the "my money is funding your child" rhetoric, because it is simply NOT true.

1. No ones tuition -- even you precious full pay people - covers your child'a entire education for the year. If you actually believe that I would suggest you talk to the people on your Board and in the finance office.

2. If you are sooo offended that you are appalled at the idea of donating...then DONT. If what you worried about are appearances, then you deserve having to come up off money you don't want to.

4. Finally, worry about YOURSELF. Sit on your high horse abs pat yourself on the back for not needing FA or not being willing to lower and demean yourself to ask for any because your pride is fatter than your bank account.

3. Here is a novel idea -- YOU send your kids to public school and you won't have to worry about what's going on at the private schools.

1. I know that tuition doesn't cover everything. Schools make very clear in the fundraising drives that donations are going to financial aid. when a family or a single Mom making $60 or $70k needs financial aid, I have no problem. When someone who makes $200 or $300k who have major equity in a house or is putting aside $2000 a month in retirement thinks they are entitled to financial aid, big difference. Just because you want a private school education you need to make choices in that salary range. You can't have everything.

Genuine question here. I'm the PP who puts a substantial amount aside for retirement. What do you think is an appropriate amount? Do you think that I should be saving zero for retirement? Because that's pretty much the same as saying that middle-class FA shouldn't exist, because prudent parents would never take that deal.

What about people with pension plans, not 401ks? Should some kind of extra income be imputed to them?

You're making some fine judgements here. I suggest that the FA departments also care about fairness and sustainability, and that they make these decisions with their years of experience in mind.

http://www.npr.org/2016/07/07/484941939/a-portrait-of-americas-middle-class-by-the-numbers

Middle Class is not someone who is making $250-$300K a year. You may think that living in this area but that is not how it is defined. Private school is a luxury. Families have to make decisions all the time about what they want and can afford. No one is entitled to a private school education because they want it. Someone that has $700,000 in equity in a house and still believes that deserve financial aid is ridiculous.
There is no pre tax income being put into a pension plan. so why would you assign them any income now?

Anonymous wrote:I am starting to feel like most financial aid is actually a disservice. It encourages families who cannot truly afford the luxury of private school to spend whatever they can set aside, instead of saving for college, retirement and paying off their mortgage. Because they have not saved for college, the cycle repeats with these families expecting taxpayers, full pay families and endowments to fund most college expenses. Undoubtedly, their children will still end up with large student loans AND parents who are unprepared for retirement. Why should private schools promote this irresponsible path? And guilt trip other parents who don't support it? We just have a really warped view of needs vs. wants in our society.

Do you not have a clue as to how you sound??? Yes, you rich people really do know what's better for us poor people on FA - silly me! I had no idea that rich people know better than I do as to what's best for my son and family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do get to have an opinion on the financial decisions of others? And spare me the "my money is funding your child" rhetoric, because it is simply NOT true.

1. No ones tuition -- even you precious full pay people - covers your child'a entire education for the year. If you actually believe that I would suggest you talk to the people on your Board and in the finance office.

2. If you are sooo offended that you are appalled at the idea of donating...then DONT. If what you worried about are appearances, then you deserve having to come up off money you don't want to.

4. Finally, worry about YOURSELF. Sit on your high horse abs pat yourself on the back for not needing FA or not being willing to lower and demean yourself to ask for any because your pride is fatter than your bank account.

3. Here is a novel idea -- YOU send your kids to public school and you won't have to worry about what's going on at the private schools.

1. I know that tuition doesn't cover everything. Schools make very clear in the fundraising drives that donations are going to financial aid. when a family or a single Mom making $60 or $70k needs financial aid, I have no problem. When someone who makes $200 or $300k who have major equity in a house or is putting aside $2000 a month in retirement thinks they are entitled to financial aid, big difference. Just because you want a private school education you need to make choices in that salary range. You can't have everything.

Genuine question here. I'm the PP who puts a substantial amount aside for retirement. What do you think is an appropriate amount? Do you think that I should be saving zero for retirement? Because that's pretty much the same as saying that middle-class FA shouldn't exist, because prudent parents would never take that deal.

What about people with pension plans, not 401ks? Should some kind of extra income be imputed to them?

You're making some fine judgements here. I suggest that the FA departments also care about fairness and sustainability, and that they make these decisions with their years of experience in mind.

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids in private school, and a HHI of 400K. We do not get aid. I understand the dilemma because if you're paying a normal tax rate, your tax home will not be more than $200K and you'll be spending $125K of that on private school. But, you probably will not get aid. Sorry!

Did you apply for aid? Here is the thing, if you did apply but did not receive any and yet still manage to pay full freight for three kids then I guess you did not "need" it. If you never applied, to say "we do not get aid" is a bit a misconception -- you cannot get what you do not ask for.

We have three kids in private school, and a HHI of 400K. We do not get aid. I understand the dilemma because if you're paying a normal tax rate, your tax home will not be more than $200K and you'll be spending $125K of that on private school. But, you probably will not get aid. Sorry!

Many of the PPs who have concerns about the types of families receiving financial aid would do well to consider for-profit schools such as Basis and the British School. They are generally cheaper ($27K for Basis and in the $30Ks for Britsh School vs $40K for Sidwell) and they don't offer financial aid to anyone. Then you won't have to be concerned that you'll be asked to donate to the financial aid fund.

Anonymous wrote:Why do get to have an opinion on the financial decisions of others? And spare me the "my money is funding your child" rhetoric, because it is simply NOT true.

1. No ones tuition -- even you precious full pay people - covers your child'a entire education for the year. If you actually believe that I would suggest you talk to the people on your Board and in the finance office.

2. If you are sooo offended that you are appalled at the idea of donating...then DONT. If what you worried about are appearances, then you deserve having to come up off money you don't want to.

4. Finally, worry about YOURSELF. Sit on your high horse abs pat yourself on the back for not needing FA or not being willing to lower and demean yourself to ask for any because your pride is fatter than your bank account.

3. Here is a novel idea -- YOU send your kids to public school and you won't have to worry about what's going on at the private schools.

1. I know that tuition doesn't cover everything. Schools make very clear in the fundraising drives that donations are going to financial aid. when a family or a single Mom making $60 or $70k needs financial aid, I have no problem. When someone who makes $200 or $300k who have major equity in a house or is putting aside $2000 a month in retirement thinks they are entitled to financial aid, big difference. Just because you want a private school education you need to make choices in that salary range. You can't have everything.

2. I am not offended about donating. I am offended with people who think that at that salary level, they do not need to figure out a budget that allows them to afford private school.

3. I do send my kids to public school now because at the current tuition levels , we could not afford it anymore. We made a choice ot live in a good school district.

4. I do worry about myself. Because I am not looking at other people to fund my decisions about education, housing, retirement and lifestyle. if someone has that much equity in a house and refuses to even look at that before asking for money, IT is hard to fathom.

Op, why don't you cash out the equity and move somewhere like McLean with good public schools? Or stay put and try a good parochial? You do have options! And better ones than most people do at that...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do get to have an opinion on the financial decisions of others? And spare me the "my money is funding your child" rhetoric, because it is simply NOT true.

1. No ones tuition -- even you precious full pay people - covers your child'a entire education for the year. If you actually believe that I would suggest you talk to the people on your Board and in the finance office.

2. If you are sooo offended that you are appalled at the idea of donating...then DONT. If what you worried about are appearances, then you deserve having to come up off money you don't want to.

4. Finally, worry about YOURSELF. Sit on your high horse abs pat yourself on the back for not needing FA or not being willing to lower and demean yourself to ask for any because your pride is fatter than your bank account.

3. Here is a novel idea -- YOU send your kids to public school and you won't have to worry about what's going on at the private schools.

I'm sorry this hits a nerve, but, at least at one of my DC's schools, this is wrong. They are very upfront that some percentage -- I forget what it is, maybe 5 - 8% of tuition dollars -- goes to financial aid. That's just a fact. You pay it whether you want to or not.

So yes, I think that does give me a right to have an opinion about this.

Well that's the school your kid goes to. My kids school makes it clear that the tuition does not cover the total cost. Again, if it's such a big issue send your kid to a different school and stop the bellyaching that falls on deaf ears...because clearly all the constant whining about in on DCUM has not changed a thing at your school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do get to have an opinion on the financial decisions of others? And spare me the "my money is funding your child" rhetoric, because it is simply NOT true.

1. No ones tuition -- even you precious full pay people - covers your child'a entire education for the year. If you actually believe that I would suggest you talk to the people on your Board and in the finance office.

2. If you are sooo offended that you are appalled at the idea of donating...then DONT. If what you worried about are appearances, then you deserve having to come up off money you don't want to.

4. Finally, worry about YOURSELF. Sit on your high horse abs pat yourself on the back for not needing FA or not being willing to lower and demean yourself to ask for any because your pride is fatter than your bank account.

3. Here is a novel idea -- YOU send your kids to public school and you won't have to worry about what's going on at the private schools.

I'm sorry this hits a nerve, but, at least at one of my DC's schools, this is wrong. They are very upfront that some percentage -- I forget what it is, maybe 5 - 8% of tuition dollars -- goes to financial aid. That's just a fact. You pay it whether you want to or not.

So yes, I think that does give me a right to have an opinion about this.

+1.

Anonymous wrote:Why do get to have an opinion on the financial decisions of others? And spare me the "my money is funding your child" rhetoric, because it is simply NOT true.

1. No ones tuition -- even you precious full pay people - covers your child'a entire education for the year. If you actually believe that I would suggest you talk to the people on your Board and in the finance office.

2. If you are sooo offended that you are appalled at the idea of donating...then DONT. If what you worried about are appearances, then you deserve having to come up off money you don't want to.

4. Finally, worry about YOURSELF. Sit on your high horse abs pat yourself on the back for not needing FA or not being willing to lower and demean yourself to ask for any because your pride is fatter than your bank account.

3. Here is a novel idea -- YOU send your kids to public school and you won't have to worry about what's going on at the private schools.

I'm sorry this hits a nerve, but, at least at one of my DC's schools, this is wrong. They are very upfront that some percentage -- I forget what it is, maybe 5 - 8% of tuition dollars -- goes to financial aid. That's just a fact. You pay it whether you want to or not.

So yes, I think that does give me a right to have an opinion about this.

All of the schools we looked at protect retirement savings in the FA assessment. If some of the PPs are foregoing retirement saving in order to afford tuition, that's a big flag that they should be applying for aid--not complaining that people saving for retirement are getting it.

Basically, most schools protect a reasonable living allowance of some amount, retirement savings, and some amount of home equity. Then they look at what you have left after that. The goal is sustainability, not forcing you into destitution.