Anonymous
Post 03/25/2017 07:05     Subject: Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal
This is so horrible. DCPS should be ashamed.
Anonymous
Post 03/25/2017 06:58     Subject: Re:Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal
OP, your situation is such that I wonder if other kids are being bullied too?

I'm unsure if I agree with others about reaching out to the parents of the bullies, but if there are other kids being victimized those parents might be helpful (plus you could offer each other needed support).



Anonymous
Post 03/24/2017 23:30     Subject: Re:Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Email the parents directly. Let them know what is happening, 9 out of 10 times, the parents either don't know or were informed in a way that minimized the incidents. Most parents don't want their kids to be awful people and would step in. In the meantime, keep your kid home. Let him know you will do everything to keep him safe. Sign him up for a sports league or taekwondo - he needs a "pack", other kids that can look out for him or get a grownup if something happens.


Don't contact the parents, and certainly not as a first step. These are young kids; if there were something magic the parents could do to stop aggressive behavior in young kids, there would be no aggressive behavior in young kids. And if the parents react in a hostile or defensive way (which is a strong possibility) then that's just going to make the situation worse. Calling the parents is something people do because they actually want the kid punished by the parents. Which may be an understandable reaction, but is extremely unlikely do do anything to resolve the situation, and very likely to make it worse.


I recommended contacting the parents because she has already informed the school and they are either not acting or acting slowly. I did contact the parents when my kid was being bullied and the parents were horrified and apologetic and eager to find a solution together with the school to stop the aggressive behavior. It is not about punishment or magic bullets, but rather that the situation requires all affected grown ups to be reinforcing the same non bullying message.
Anonymous
Post 03/24/2017 22:56     Subject: Re:Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I posted up above that several years ago my preschooler was repeatedly attacked -- quite brutally -- at a DCPS school, and that it was well-documented including by teachers and outside medical experts.

FYI that, counter to advice we received at the time, we did not withdraw our child or switch schools; moreover, I child did not miss school because of the incidents.

While the bullying problem was significant and serious, the following year was very positive for my child at the same school. Moreover, while I still am recovering from the incidents/violence/bullying my child faced, today my child is perfectly fine and I'm sure barely thinks of it if at all.

I write this only because numerous posters in this thread have urged you to withdraw your child ASAP, move, switch schools, etc. But whether that's the right path for your child and family depends upon so many other factors, which only you as the parent can decide.


It sounds like they were just a few discrete incidents? If it was so serious as to require an "outside medical expert" how could you leave your child there?


There were a series of attacks (by one child), including one really severe one. While it wasn't easy, we effectively put in measures so that we felt comfortable about my child's safety, plus there were some extremely loving and supportive teachers actively supporting my child.

It was a different circumstance than OP and parallels with her situation only go so far -- I'm not saying advice for her to remove her child is wrong; I'm merely offering a different perspective based on my own particular experience.

Anonymous
Post 03/24/2017 22:17     Subject: Re:Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal
Anonymous wrote:I posted up above that several years ago my preschooler was repeatedly attacked -- quite brutally -- at a DCPS school, and that it was well-documented including by teachers and outside medical experts.

FYI that, counter to advice we received at the time, we did not withdraw our child or switch schools; moreover, I child did not miss school because of the incidents.

While the bullying problem was significant and serious, the following year was very positive for my child at the same school. Moreover, while I still am recovering from the incidents/violence/bullying my child faced, today my child is perfectly fine and I'm sure barely thinks of it if at all.

I write this only because numerous posters in this thread have urged you to withdraw your child ASAP, move, switch schools, etc. But whether that's the right path for your child and family depends upon so many other factors, which only you as the parent can decide.


It sounds like they were just a few discrete incidents? If it was so serious as to require an "outside medical expert" how could you leave your child there?
Anonymous
Post 03/24/2017 20:50     Subject: Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal
18:47, it's good it worked out for you .

We were at a tony private where my child was bullied in K, the school denied it, but the other classmates said it was true.

Fast forward two years, we Finally pulled him from the school, & his anxiety is gone & he is doing better... but the bullying made an impact that will stick

I say OP needs to pull her child out, deal only with the school--the other parents, if contacted directly, may then go to the school & twist the truth (happened to a friend-- bully's mom contacted the school after she had a dinner with the mom to discuss the mom's bully kid)... well, the bully mom approached the school & twisted the situation around.. it was lies upon lies, and it took awhile to sort itself back out to the truth--- the bully's mom gamed the system to get more time)

Tread cautiously and never take risks with your child 's safety--ever!
Anonymous
Post 03/24/2017 18:47     Subject: Re:Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal
I posted up above that several years ago my preschooler was repeatedly attacked -- quite brutally -- at a DCPS school, and that it was well-documented including by teachers and outside medical experts.

FYI that, counter to advice we received at the time, we did not withdraw our child or switch schools; moreover, I child did not miss school because of the incidents.

While the bullying problem was significant and serious, the following year was very positive for my child at the same school. Moreover, while I still am recovering from the incidents/violence/bullying my child faced, today my child is perfectly fine and I'm sure barely thinks of it if at all.

I write this only because numerous posters in this thread have urged you to withdraw your child ASAP, move, switch schools, etc. But whether that's the right path for your child and family depends upon so many other factors, which only you as the parent can decide.
Anonymous
Post 03/24/2017 18:26     Subject: Re:Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Email the parents directly. Let them know what is happening, 9 out of 10 times, the parents either don't know or were informed in a way that minimized the incidents. Most parents don't want their kids to be awful people and would step in. In the meantime, keep your kid home. Let him know you will do everything to keep him safe. Sign him up for a sports league or taekwondo - he needs a "pack", other kids that can look out for him or get a grownup if something happens.


Don't contact the parents, and certainly not as a first step. These are young kids; if there were something magic the parents could do to stop aggressive behavior in young kids, there would be no aggressive behavior in young kids. And if the parents react in a hostile or defensive way (which is a strong possibility) then that's just going to make the situation worse. Calling the parents is something people do because they actually want the kid punished by the parents. Which may be an understandable reaction, but is extremely unlikely do do anything to resolve the situation, and very likely to make it worse.


Agreed. I know of a situation where parents almost came to blows within the last two years--apparently, the parent of a supposed bully got irate during a meeting at school, and police had to be called.

There is some risk involved in talking to several sets of parents yourselves--even if some of them react reasonably, there is always the possibility that others won't. Unless I knew the parents pretty well, I'd go through official channels.


I was on a parent on the other end of this (the aggressive kid was mine) and the teacher kept on trying to get me to talk to the other parents (and then the other parents tried to set up meetings). It was totally pointless. I knew everything that was happening and was doing what I could to fix the situation. Younger kid, but probably not all that different for 6-7 year olds. There was no reason for me to meet with the parents; they just wanted to be nosy about my child, make useless suggestions, or get me to apologize to them or pressure me to withdraw my kid. This is an issue for the school to work out, not for parents to work out between themselves. If I needed helpful support/advice the last place I was going to go was other parents who were pissed off at me/my kid.
Anonymous
Post 03/24/2017 10:28     Subject: Re:Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Email the parents directly. Let them know what is happening, 9 out of 10 times, the parents either don't know or were informed in a way that minimized the incidents. Most parents don't want their kids to be awful people and would step in. In the meantime, keep your kid home. Let him know you will do everything to keep him safe. Sign him up for a sports league or taekwondo - he needs a "pack", other kids that can look out for him or get a grownup if something happens.


Don't contact the parents, and certainly not as a first step. These are young kids; if there were something magic the parents could do to stop aggressive behavior in young kids, there would be no aggressive behavior in young kids. And if the parents react in a hostile or defensive way (which is a strong possibility) then that's just going to make the situation worse. Calling the parents is something people do because they actually want the kid punished by the parents. Which may be an understandable reaction, but is extremely unlikely do do anything to resolve the situation, and very likely to make it worse.


Agreed. I know of a situation where parents almost came to blows within the last two years--apparently, the parent of a supposed bully got irate during a meeting at school, and police had to be called.

There is some risk involved in talking to several sets of parents yourselves--even if some of them react reasonably, there is always the possibility that others won't. Unless I knew the parents pretty well, I'd go through official channels.
Anonymous
Post 03/24/2017 10:24     Subject: Re:Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal
Anonymous wrote:Email the parents directly. Let them know what is happening, 9 out of 10 times, the parents either don't know or were informed in a way that minimized the incidents. Most parents don't want their kids to be awful people and would step in. In the meantime, keep your kid home. Let him know you will do everything to keep him safe. Sign him up for a sports league or taekwondo - he needs a "pack", other kids that can look out for him or get a grownup if something happens.


Don't contact the parents, and certainly not as a first step. These are young kids; if there were something magic the parents could do to stop aggressive behavior in young kids, there would be no aggressive behavior in young kids. And if the parents react in a hostile or defensive way (which is a strong possibility) then that's just going to make the situation worse. Calling the parents is something people do because they actually want the kid punished by the parents. Which may be an understandable reaction, but is extremely unlikely do do anything to resolve the situation, and very likely to make it worse.
Anonymous
Post 03/24/2017 10:18     Subject: Re:Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal
Anonymous wrote:Email the parents directly. Let them know what is happening, 9 out of 10 times, the parents either don't know or were informed in a way that minimized the incidents. Most parents don't want their kids to be awful people and would step in. In the meantime, keep your kid home. Let him know you will do everything to keep him safe. Sign him up for a sports league or taekwondo - he needs a "pack", other kids that can look out for him or get a grownup if something happens.


Do not address the parent directly. Do this through the school. The school needs to be aware and address.
Anonymous
Post 03/24/2017 08:21     Subject: Re:Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal
Email the parents directly. Let them know what is happening, 9 out of 10 times, the parents either don't know or were informed in a way that minimized the incidents. Most parents don't want their kids to be awful people and would step in. In the meantime, keep your kid home. Let him know you will do everything to keep him safe. Sign him up for a sports league or taekwondo - he needs a "pack", other kids that can look out for him or get a grownup if something happens.
Anonymous
Post 03/24/2017 07:39     Subject: Re:Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, maybe there's something about what or how you communicated that wasn't clear to them. Perhaps they thought you just wanted to vent? You've gotten a lot of advice already. Have you tried anything besides MPD? The cops are right, mediation needs to happen. If you haven't contacted the Ombudsman, here's a grievance form http://dcforms.dc.gov/webform/grievance-referral-online-form


I've called and/or emailed everyone that anyone on this list serve has recommended and more. Thank you for the advice. The people that I have spoken with have been helpful, but I am not getting a response from the Instructional Superintendent.

Does anyone have any experience working with a School Resource Officer?


OP, I'm so sorry you and your child are going through this. You need to document everything via email. Send emails to the people you're contacting to outline the issues and request a meeting. You want to put the issues in writing and use the terms "bullying" & "assault" & "my child is afraid to go to school" & "not the environment for my child to learn." Check out this resource and read the policy https://dcps.dc.gov/bullying and also look up your school handbook. Clearly demonstrate how what's happening is bullying and violates the terms in the handbook. This way no one can say they didn't know. If officials refuse to meet with you, then document that. If you meet with anyone, send a follow up email documenting the conversation. Very clearly request via email what you're looking for as a resolution. You can't request anything regarding the other children's discipline, but you can request your child to switch to another classroom, switch schools, etc.

In your language in the email, phrase it as bullykid did x, teacher failed to do y, etc. Make sure you're showing the issue is others' bevahior, not you or your child. Document your attempts to resolve this and the teachers' and officials' failure to do so.

Your child can't go back to this school until this is resolved. Every day send an email to the school stating that you're keeping your child home because they can't provide a safe environment. Don't say your child is sick because they can later use that against you and say that's why he was home, not because of an unsafe environment at school

Good luck and please let us know how this goes. Take care and hugs to your little boy.
Anonymous
Post 03/24/2017 02:23     Subject: Re:Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nobody is even gently asking whether a 5-year-old's reports may not be fully accurate?

It really depends on your kid. But if you have raised your kids right and ask them to put their hand on the Bible.... all you should get is any honest confusion. Honest confusion is something either 1) you can share with the police or 2) you share with them in court documents about the fact that there was nowhere for you all to move on to.


OP- I have pictures of him from today. The entire back right sleeve of his shirt is covered in brown dirt and his shoulddr is scrapped up and low back red/bruised. The day the incident in the bathroom happened I was standing right outside because it was after school. I saw 4 boys run out of the bathroom and then my 4 year old come out screaming cover saying someone peed on him. Sure enough- covered in pee from the knee down. My little one still says sometimes, "No one peed on me in the bathroom" when we have to use it while we are there. Then when my older son tells me the same kid watched him pee, etc. I believed him. Would you question your own? The very next day my 5 year old who was sleeping in underwear at 2.5 had an accident at school because he was too scared to use the hall bathroom with the older kids. He must be a liar to pee his pants! Please. Oh, and the time he was choked out in the library by the 3rd grader. His friend was there and saw it, but you know they got together and made that one up! And if the teacher didn't see it; it didn't happen! I could go on...but I don't need to prove myself on the Internet. Just looking for advice and I appreciate all the nice comments so far.
Anonymous
Post 03/24/2017 00:13     Subject: Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal
So sorry for your child and family...
There is an office in DCPS that will help find a placement at another school if your child has been assaulted at their school. Please call and see if there might be a spot available at a school you would be happy with. You might at the same time talk to your Cluster Superintendent - each Instructional Superintendent in DC has about 12 schools under their management and apparently they like to keep "dirty laundry" under their own roof and might be helpful in transferring your child to another school that they manage - they may be able to pull strings to do that. They usually have a mix of schools - some great, which may or may not be close - not sure if transportation would be an issue. Also, if you keep your child out - you must email your school everyday saying your child is sick or they will come after you on truancy. I would also reach out to your school board person - they have no real authority, but good to document and they sometimes will help with getting others to respond.
If they make you send him to school - if you are able(as you said you could home school, so assuming you do not work) go to school with him and tell the school you are going to be in the classroom - I do not think they can make you leave.
Good luck - hope all goes well. I am not a fan of Capitol Hill schools.