Anonymous wrote:Not happy. I didn't think being home full time was really the issue. We both had good paying jobs with predictable hours. (8-4). The kids went to full time Montessori school and were thriving. We had a weekly cleaner and honestly in terms of the day to day details, I actually did more managing of our lives because my job was more flexible and easy than hers. I did all of the sick days, doctor visits, planning, etc. Yes, we were busy, but I felt very content.

I actually gave in and agreed that she should try to take some time off and it didn't help. But my wife didn't want to pull the kids out of full-time Montessori school, wanted to keep the same lifestyle in terms of expenses and refused to down size, etc. It was magical thinking because she hated her job and wanted a graceful out. She also admitted she felt trapped by the demands on her time, attention, lost in terms of what she wanted for her life etc. She was STILL depressed and now felt useless. I encouraged therapy and even offered to go with her. She refused.

Finally, she just left. I walked in the door with the kids and there was a note that said she regretted every having children and being married and being tied down and that was it. From what I can gather from my former in-laws, she lives in Asia and basically started over. Our kids were 2, 4, 6. That was 12 years ago. My oldest left for college last month. She missed everything.

Anyway, didn't want to go dark, but I think being home can be a great thing. I would approach it in a more healthy way and really think about the role in terms of the family and in terms of yourself. I would make a financial plan and would think through issues like insurance, etc. If it makes sense, then go for it.

Anonymous wrote:To each their own, but I could not respect or be attracted to a woman without ambition.

Anonymous wrote:I can't say I'd react well, but I also don't make nearly what your husband does (six figures, but not close to his numbers). However, I was pretty upfront that I was not the sort of husband who wanted to be a sole support to my wife, that I wanted a two income household, etc. I'd be pretty annoyed if my wife decided she didn't want to work anymore, without any really good reason, which I haven't seen you give.

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, real life man here with a very educated SAHM. Want me to clue you in on what the men REALLY think? I mean, are you really ready to know the truth of what men feel about this when we are out having drinks and its unfiltered conversation??[u] I am in a field where the average pay for men in early to late 30s when the babies come is 125-250k. My rough guess is about 3/4th of our wives SAH after kids, and 1/4th continued to work .

Here's the truth: It doesn't really come up. Seriously. The men with SAH never really complain about it. If anything, we occasionally comment something like "it's nice having a SAH so I don't have to worry about rushing home." The men with dual incomes? They might comment that it's nice to have two incomes. The men with two working parents don't look up or down on those with one income and vice versa.

Want to know what we talk about? Sports, the hot girl from accounting, the lack of sex in the early childhood years. Work, occasionally the kids. And the hot girl from accounting.

My point - just talk to your husband. Most men are going to be fine with whatever works for the family. Since your husband makes big coin, either option is going to work for your family.