Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Put more simply, people who gain a bunch of weight just don't care. They don't care about a lot of stuff and it would be hard to be a person who cares married to one who doesn't.

Please don't start with thyroid excuses, we all know that's not what anybody is talking about.

+1

+2

The best exercise for overweight people is to take their plate and push it away. Repeat at each meal.

I like this. Agreed though, so much of it is about diet. Also, most people would do well to at least double the amount of water they drink each day.

I am late to this post...but on the first pages it was making generalizations about gaining 50lbs must mean you are unhappy/no sex life..etc. In my case I have gained 50lbs since I married my husband 8 years ago. He has stayed pretty much the same ( lost some muscle and a little hair ha but weight wise). My husband still tells me I am beautiful every.single.day. Our sex life is amazing and we have two beautiful kids and honestly are so happy. Of course we bicker over normal things, but at the end of the day we are each others best friend, we make each other laugh more than anybody else and we just generally have fun together. . I have also managed to work my way up from a lower level job to a pretty nice higher level job in the past 8 years ( so I am not lazy). Anyways, the point of this is some generalizations that weight = unhappy/bad sex/slobs I honestly don't think that is always the case. Personally for me it was being underweight when we got married , two pregnancies and not doing a great job getting baby weight off. My youngest is 1 and I have just started working out again, and hope to loose some weight--I want to be healthy and my cholesterol is starting to go to the "bad" column--very early on, but loosing weight I know could help. I just found it disheartening reading some of the earlier pages that its okay to leave a spouse if they gain 50lbs or that means they stopped having sex/have given up...being a mom to a daughter I am disheartened a lot at this "beauty is the most important" rhetoric...I agree with the OP aren't we all so much more than that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Physical attraction is a huge component of a relationship/marriage. Otherwise, you'd be "just friends." So, to me it is. I'm a woman. Sorry, a huge gut and three chins doesn't do it for me and I don't want to be married to someone who I see as just a friend. Of course I want them to be my best friend but also have an incredible attraction. Before the disgruntled women flame me, yes, I take good care of myself. 36, 5'5, 125 pounds, work out 5 days a week for the past two decades.

Honey, you don't have a clue. Anyone can look good at 36. See us when you are 46.

,

So true.

Please! Like 46 is all that old either. DCUM is this strange place where menopause is considered the harbinger of doom for any sense of fitness or attractiveness. I know some damn good looking late 40s-early 50s women who went through menopause and somehow didn't come out looking like ogres.

Are those women still working at full time career type jobs and raising teenagers?

NO, nobody but you has ever done that

You don't think if you have 50 extra hours a week that you could conceivably eat better and exercise more?

Somehow, many people with kids and full time jobs manage to eat healthy and exercise. It's not the time, it's the excuses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Put more simply, people who gain a bunch of weight just don't care. They don't care about a lot of stuff and it would be hard to be a person who cares married to one who doesn't.

Please don't start with thyroid excuses, we all know that's not what anybody is talking about.

+1

+2

The best exercise for overweight people is to take their plate and push it away. Repeat at each meal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weight is not just about appearance. It's hard to do many things when people are overweight, so they are no longer a good partner because they can't participate in activities. It becomes a quality of life issue. They are also less healthy and health is what is attractive.

Meh. This goes both ways. I know plenty of thin people who refuse to go to social event where food is involved or to cook meals for their families, preceding to eat diet food. I also know many who are not healthy and use amphetamines (meth, diet pills, adderall) in order to maintain their weight. And there are plenty of women who are a size 10/12 and still able to participate in family hikes and bike rides.

LOL I am a size 12, or maybe 14, and I'm running the Army Ten Miler next month. Size 12 is not fat.

Sorry, with the new vanity sizing, a 12/14 is actually a size 16/18.

Okay, whatever. I am not fat in a way that interferes with physical activity, whether you call it a size 12 or a size 18. Do you think I care that you think I'm fat?

PP, eff that person. Any person that feels the need to chime in to a conversation like this one with vanity sizing comment is just sad. Ignore them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weight is not just about appearance. It's hard to do many things when people are overweight, so they are no longer a good partner because they can't participate in activities. It becomes a quality of life issue. They are also less healthy and health is what is attractive.

Meh. This goes both ways. I know plenty of thin people who refuse to go to social event where food is involved or to cook meals for their families, preceding to eat diet food. I also know many who are not healthy and use amphetamines (meth, diet pills, adderall) in order to maintain their weight. And there are plenty of women who are a size 10/12 and still able to participate in family hikes and bike rides.

LOL I am a size 12, or maybe 14, and I'm running the Army Ten Miler next month. Size 12 is not fat.

Sorry, with the new vanity sizing, a 12/14 is actually a size 16/18.

Okay, whatever. I am not fat in a way that interferes with physical activity, whether you call it a size 12 or a size 18. Do you think I care that you think I'm fat?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Physical attraction is a huge component of a relationship/marriage. Otherwise, you'd be "just friends." So, to me it is. I'm a woman. Sorry, a huge gut and three chins doesn't do it for me and I don't want to be married to someone who I see as just a friend. Of course I want them to be my best friend but also have an incredible attraction. Before the disgruntled women flame me, yes, I take good care of myself. 36, 5'5, 125 pounds, work out 5 days a week for the past two decades.

Honey, you don't have a clue. Anyone can look good at 36. See us when you are 46.

,

So true.

Please! Like 46 is all that old either. DCUM is this strange place where menopause is considered the harbinger of doom for any sense of fitness or attractiveness. I know some damn good looking late 40s-early 50s women who went through menopause and somehow didn't come out looking like ogres.

Are those women still working at full time career type jobs and raising teenagers?

NO, nobody but you has ever done that

You don't think if you have 50 extra hours a week that you could conceivably eat better and exercise more?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weight is not just about appearance. It's hard to do many things when people are overweight, so they are no longer a good partner because they can't participate in activities. It becomes a quality of life issue. They are also less healthy and health is what is attractive.

Meh. This goes both ways. I know plenty of thin people who refuse to go to social event where food is involved or to cook meals for their families, preceding to eat diet food. I also know many who are not healthy and use amphetamines (meth, diet pills, adderall) in order to maintain their weight. And there are plenty of women who are a size 10/12 and still able to participate in family hikes and bike rides.

LOL I am a size 12, or maybe 14, and I'm running the Army Ten Miler next month. Size 12 is not fat.

You must not live in America, then. Because, I don't know if you're heard, but apparently anyone who's not a 6 is fat.

Okay, so I'm fit fat at 168 pounds and 5'6". I'm over 50, I really don't care if anonymous women think I'm fat. I lift heavy twice a week, run three times a week, do spin and yoga occasionally. I haven't been less than a size 8 since I hit puberty at age 13.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weight is not just about appearance. It's hard to do many things when people are overweight, so they are no longer a good partner because they can't participate in activities. It becomes a quality of life issue. They are also less healthy and health is what is attractive.

Meh. This goes both ways. I know plenty of thin people who refuse to go to social event where food is involved or to cook meals for their families, preceding to eat diet food. I also know many who are not healthy and use amphetamines (meth, diet pills, adderall) in order to maintain their weight. And there are plenty of women who are a size 10/12 and still able to participate in family hikes and bike rides.

LOL I am a size 12, or maybe 14, and I'm running the Army Ten Miler next month. Size 12 is not fat.

Sorry, with the new vanity sizing, a 12/14 is actually a size 16/18.

Anonymous wrote:It is less about the weight and more about changing who you are. When I married my DH we were 22 - Seniors in college. We were both in fantastic shape. Both runners, trainers, hikers, sailors... Avid outdoorsy people. Health and fitness were a huge part of our lives. I was 5'5 and 115 pounds when we got married. We started having kids right away. Five kids and almost 30 years later I am still 5'5 and between 115 and 120 pounds. If I gained a bunch of weight (short of a serious injury or illness), I wouldn't even be the same woman he married. My priorities, goals, hobbies,....all that would have changed. It's not really fair to completely change who you are and just expect your partner to adapt and accept it. It's not as easy to maintain my ideal weight at 50. I have osteoarthritis and osteoporosis which makes exercise more difficult. We've both had numerous sports related injuries. We've had to modify the way to work out. We have to be more careful with our diets. Remaining active and healthy is a little more challenging these days, but it's still important to both of us. If I decided I just didn't care anymore, would that really be fair?

My priorities and goals are much different at 51 than they were at 22. Even after having kids and living 30 years longer, these are the same for you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weight is not just about appearance. It's hard to do many things when people are overweight, so they are no longer a good partner because they can't participate in activities. It becomes a quality of life issue. They are also less healthy and health is what is attractive.

Meh. This goes both ways. I know plenty of thin people who refuse to go to social event where food is involved or to cook meals for their families, preceding to eat diet food. I also know many who are not healthy and use amphetamines (meth, diet pills, adderall) in order to maintain their weight. And there are plenty of women who are a size 10/12 and still able to participate in family hikes and bike rides.

LOL I am a size 12, or maybe 14, and I'm running the Army Ten Miler next month. Size 12 is not fat.

You must not live in America, then. Because, I don't know if you're heard, but apparently anyone who's not a 6 is fat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weight is not just about appearance. It's hard to do many things when people are overweight, so they are no longer a good partner because they can't participate in activities. It becomes a quality of life issue. They are also less healthy and health is what is attractive.

Meh. This goes both ways. I know plenty of thin people who refuse to go to social event where food is involved or to cook meals for their families, preceding to eat diet food. I also know many who are not healthy and use amphetamines (meth, diet pills, adderall) in order to maintain their weight. And there are plenty of women who are a size 10/12 and still able to participate in family hikes and bike rides.

LOL I am a size 12, or maybe 14, and I'm running the Army Ten Miler next month. Size 12 is not fat.