Wow OP. As a lesbian this makes me want to cry for you. I am so sorry you are being forced to feel this way. Please stop having sex with him immediately. Please, for your own sake. And do not listen to the miserable Neanderthal douches on this website or their handmaidens, who will tell you you're a horrible person for not granting sexual access to a man. They have been saying that bullshit since the dawn of time. Learn to block it out.

But... I'm so sorry for you. I'm sure I'll be thinking of this (and what so many other women have to go through) all day now.