My mailman is a very nice overweight man with gout. I worry about his health, actually.

Anonymous wrote:I used to work in a dental office where the receptionist would flirt with the mailman. One day he asked her out on a date. They eventually married.

Good luck!

Just like Pauline on Legally Blonde!

I used to work in a dental office where the receptionist would flirt with the mailman. One day he asked her out on a date. They eventually married.

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Kill me softly. Seriously. I am the worst.

I'm dying. Thank you for blogging this for us. I can only hope to see an update tomorrow.

If he comes on time tomorrow, say,"I'm glad you came when you're supposed to for a change."

OP, you have GOT to bang the mailman. Do it for all of us. Please, please bang the mailman. We are rooting for you.

How about you answer him with "you sure you only have time to come once"?

Question is, OP, do you just want to flirt with him, or do you really want to go out with him? Different flirt styles for different goals.

You come when I tell you to.


That's the answer, OP.

LOL, OP, you are awesome!
I'm sure he thinks you are cute. He definitely knows what you are thinking...

How can we help?

Should we practice some scenarios/lines? Get you ready for the next encounter?
We should have planned out responses to the "mailman coming late" line.

Next time, definitely take a moment to pause, look back at him, bat the eyelashes, try to not just let words fall out of your mouth.

A little role playing for our op, folks?

Oh, OP....

I'm sorry, but I'm laughing so hard right now imagining this. I think you might be out of your (flirting) league with your mailman.

I am dying of embarrassment for you, OP. That was sad.

OP here.

So I was all ready today, feeling good in a new outfit and generally having a good day, when I noticed the mail hadn't come yet. After lunchtime. It was late.

Perfect.

He eventually walks by my office, I call out "I thought the postman always come on time?"
It was a beautiful thing, came out just like I practiced in my head. I was probably beaming and glowing I was so proud of myself.

Then, he puts both hands on my desk, leans down to my level, stares right into my eyes and asks "what time would you like me to come, ______?"

Do you know what I said? Do you know what I actually said in words out of my mouth?

I said "umm, err, well...ahh... I wouldn't want you to not, you know, ummm...eat a healthy lunch or anything, so..ahh... I guess any time that is, you know, convenient for you works for us."

Kill me softly. Seriously. I am the worst.

Anonymous wrote:Ok. I just reported this thread. Gross

Get a life weirdo. Or at least read another thread. Honestly.

OP- you know reality will never match il to your fantasies.

But you always have UPS and the FedEx guys as backups.