Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread totally reminds me of a situation where I was the other mom in your scenerio ( but not food related) but involving car rides. Middle school was five minute drive from our house and on a few days I would give my kid a ride. There were two neighbor kids who would walk up to our house and expect a ride to school. At first, this wasn't a problem because I was going there anyway.

But, one time I was over at a Christmas party at one of the kid's houses and the mom cornered me and said "thank you for giving Anna a ride but, we want her to walk to school" This is fine and admirable to want your kid to get exercise ( and I approve) however, the way she talked to me sounded like the "thank you" was something she was angry at me for. I did not know the kid was supposed to be walking to school and I wasn't getting anything out of doing what I thought was a favor.

My point being was this kid wanted a ride to school and knew her Mom was against it. She knew she wouldn't give a ride so she was clever to find someone who would give her one. She never said thank you and both were generally not pleasant or friendly to my daughter.

Your children are already displaying the same type of behavior. They knew you wouldn't give them money for what they wanted so they found another way. I would be slightly more worried about that and try to figure out a way that the kids feel like they can come to you with their needs and wants. And not lie about it.

Btw, the car pooling ended once I found out the Moms didn't want me to drive them and I started telling them that I wouldn't give them a ride because their Moms didn't approve. I would be angry if you gave my kid a ride to school without the common courtesy of communicating with a parent and getting approval.

You were giving rides to other people's kids without their parents' knowledge or permission? That's pretty messed up. You don't live in 1950s Mayberry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Before everyone else piles on, let me add that I am a single parent who scrapes together the money for summer camp. I drive an old car, wear old clothes and bring a lunch I pack every day to a job where I am underpaid. My budget simply does not allow for $30 a week for ice cream at camp.

Some of you assume that I am denying my children something I was given (we ate ice cream at home, not from the ice cream truck). My parents, who were not wealthy, saved to pay for four years of college and most of my professional education as well. That is my priority for my children as well.

And no, I am not the same mom whose kid spent $18 on a lunch at the museum.

But flame away. I wish you could walk a mile in my worn down shoes.

To be fair, you did not indicate at all in your OP that this was about not being able to afford it. You need to explain this to your children, and not sugar-coat it as a wants vs needs issue. This is an affordability issue.

Anonymous wrote:This thread totally reminds me of a situation where I was the other mom in your scenerio ( but not food related) but involving car rides. Middle school was five minute drive from our house and on a few days I would give my kid a ride. There were two neighbor kids who would walk up to our house and expect a ride to school. At first, this wasn't a problem because I was going there anyway.

But, one time I was over at a Christmas party at one of the kid's houses and the mom cornered me and said "thank you for giving Anna a ride but, we want her to walk to school" This is fine and admirable to want your kid to get exercise ( and I approve) however, the way she talked to me sounded like the "thank you" was something she was angry at me for. I did not know the kid was supposed to be walking to school and I wasn't getting anything out of doing what I thought was a favor.

My point being was this kid wanted a ride to school and knew her Mom was against it. She knew she wouldn't give a ride so she was clever to find someone who would give her one. She never said thank you and both were generally not pleasant or friendly to my daughter.

Your children are already displaying the same type of behavior. They knew you wouldn't give them money for what they wanted so they found another way. I would be slightly more worried about that and try to figure out a way that the kids feel like they can come to you with their needs and wants. And not lie about it.

Btw, the car pooling ended once I found out the Moms didn't want me to drive them and I started telling them that I wouldn't give them a ride because their Moms didn't approve.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the same OP who was furious with her son for buying too much food on a field trip. You have issues around food, money, control, and anger that you really need to address, oP. I wonder if it would help the situation at all of we quit giving her attention by responding to her posts?

I was just coming back here to see if her son spent $18 on lunch at the field trip! Man, these kids really know how to get to their mom. Team Kids!

Anonymous wrote:This is the same OP who was furious with her son for buying too much food on a field trip. You have issues around food, money, control, and anger that you really need to address, oP. I wonder if it would help the situation at all of we quit giving her attention by responding to her posts?

Anonymous wrote:Agreed with the others that the OP needs to re-consider providing the kids with ice cream money.

That said, I am surprised that no one mentioned the other learning opportunity here: the kids took a loan from someone. Loans are not free money, but need to be repaid. The OP needs to teach the children this, and explain the importance of needing to re-pay the generous child who loaned them money in the first place. Perhaps there are household chores that need to be done to earn money, or perhaps there is an allowance that can be used. In any case, this is an important lesson for the children.