Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The problem with OP's case is she's snooping on her boyfriend. This is literally the only problem here.
OP Here...Not snooping, phone hadn't locked yet, a text came in, I looked down and saw it and the name of the person so I picked up the phone. If I hadn't I would still be in the dark about all this. Thinking everything was great and this relationship was progressing. I could have just let it go but my gut told me to pick it up and I did.
OP, that is snooping. You looked at his phone. It doesn't matter if it was locked or not or whether you were right or not. You picked up his phone and read something that was not intended for you.
I think that the main thing here is that you are insecure and you do not trust your boyfriend. If you want to know if he is interested in her romantically, ask him, "Sam, are you interested in Beth romantically? If she asked you to have sex with her, would you do it?" Right now, it sounds like your boyfriend is into you and doesn't understand why you are so threatened by this woman. Either tell him what your actual concern is and address it, or cut him loose and let him find someone to date who isn't completely insane.
Really? He doesn't seem that into her to me.
He drives long distances to see her and other than this one issue, OP has not been able to cite any problems with their relationship, which she believed was going well, until she snooped in his phone.
So you think she should just ignore this and move on and not be threatened by any of this? I don't know if I agree with this. It is like dirty little secret he is keeping from her. She hasn't seen any actually inappropriate exchanges between them but the volume is disturbing and that is what she sees on text, there is something else she mentioned that they communicate on but she doesn't seem to have access to it and then the phone calls. Why all this attention to another woman. Why isn't he calling her instead of this woman? To many questions. Not that black and white
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The problem with OP's case is she's snooping on her boyfriend. This is literally the only problem here.
OP Here...Not snooping, phone hadn't locked yet, a text came in, I looked down and saw it and the name of the person so I picked up the phone. If I hadn't I would still be in the dark about all this. Thinking everything was great and this relationship was progressing. I could have just let it go but my gut told me to pick it up and I did.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The problem with OP's case is she's snooping on her boyfriend. This is literally the only problem here.
OP Here...Not snooping, phone hadn't locked yet, a text came in, I looked down and saw it and the name of the person so I picked up the phone. If I hadn't I would still be in the dark about all this. Thinking everything was great and this relationship was progressing. I could have just let it go but my gut told me to pick it up and I did.
OP, that is snooping. You looked at his phone. It doesn't matter if it was locked or not or whether you were right or not. You picked up his phone and read something that was not intended for you.
I think that the main thing here is that you are insecure and you do not trust your boyfriend. If you want to know if he is interested in her romantically, ask him, "Sam, are you interested in Beth romantically? If she asked you to have sex with her, would you do it?" Right now, it sounds like your boyfriend is into you and doesn't understand why you are so threatened by this woman. Either tell him what your actual concern is and address it, or cut him loose and let him find someone to date who isn't completely insane.
Really? He doesn't seem that into her to me.
He drives long distances to see her and other than this one issue, OP has not been able to cite any problems with their relationship, which she believed was going well, until she snooped in his phone.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The problem with OP's case is she's snooping on her boyfriend. This is literally the only problem here.
OP Here...Not snooping, phone hadn't locked yet, a text came in, I looked down and saw it and the name of the person so I picked up the phone. If I hadn't I would still be in the dark about all this. Thinking everything was great and this relationship was progressing. I could have just let it go but my gut told me to pick it up and I did.
OP, that is snooping. You looked at his phone. It doesn't matter if it was locked or not or whether you were right or not. You picked up his phone and read something that was not intended for you.
I think that the main thing here is that you are insecure and you do not trust your boyfriend. If you want to know if he is interested in her romantically, ask him, "Sam, are you interested in Beth romantically? If she asked you to have sex with her, would you do it?" Right now, it sounds like your boyfriend is into you and doesn't understand why you are so threatened by this woman. Either tell him what your actual concern is and address it, or cut him loose and let him find someone to date who isn't completely insane.
Really? He doesn't seem that into her to me.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The problem with OP's case is she's snooping on her boyfriend. This is literally the only problem here.
OP Here...Not snooping, phone hadn't locked yet, a text came in, I looked down and saw it and the name of the person so I picked up the phone. If I hadn't I would still be in the dark about all this. Thinking everything was great and this relationship was progressing. I could have just let it go but my gut told me to pick it up and I did.
OP, that is snooping. You looked at his phone. It doesn't matter if it was locked or not or whether you were right or not. You picked up his phone and read something that was not intended for you.
I think that the main thing here is that you are insecure and you do not trust your boyfriend. If you want to know if he is interested in her romantically, ask him, "Sam, are you interested in Beth romantically? If she asked you to have sex with her, would you do it?" Right now, it sounds like your boyfriend is into you and doesn't understand why you are so threatened by this woman. Either tell him what your actual concern is and address it, or cut him loose and let him find someone to date who isn't completely insane.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The problem with OP's case is she's snooping on her boyfriend. This is literally the only problem here.
OP Here...Not snooping, phone hadn't locked yet, a text came in, I looked down and saw it and the name of the person so I picked up the phone. If I hadn't I would still be in the dark about all this. Thinking everything was great and this relationship was progressing. I could have just let it go but my gut told me to pick it up and I did.
Anonymous wrote:The problem with OP's case is she's snooping on her boyfriend. This is literally the only problem here.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You -- and all DCUMs -- who demand all contact with ex's, women, etc., be ended are crazy. Please respect and trust your partners. Please accept that you DH can be normal and actual friends with other women. Please do not complain, nag, or bitch yourself into a "he has no female friends" dead zone. Please do not make your and his life hell over unnecessary drama..
This is so true and this is coming from a woman. If you make yourself the only woman in your boyfriend/DH life then when a woman that is even mildly titillating comes along they go bonkers cause you are the only female they have been exposed to in forever. Now as for the OP of this thread.....that is a little more than a "friend". Seems she is the one with all the power right now. If she decided to move their relationship further he is gone. That is like a sword hanging over your head. Who wants that.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, can you ask him why he wouldn't immediately take up with her if you stepped out of the picture? What is keeping them from being together? Did they ever discuss it?
OP here, he says it has never even come up in conversation between them. He says he wouldn't take up with her because he doesn't think that is what she wants. Not him but her...until she changes her mind.
Anonymous wrote:OP, can you ask him why he wouldn't immediately take up with her if you stepped out of the picture? What is keeping them from being together? Did they ever discuss it?
Anonymous wrote:You -- and all DCUMs -- who demand all contact with ex's, women, etc., be ended are crazy. Please respect and trust your partners. Please accept that you DH can be normal and actual friends with other women. Please do not complain, nag, or bitch yourself into a "he has no female friends" dead zone. Please do not make your and his life hell over unnecessary drama..